Butch Femme Planet - What is on your mind

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yes, I would do the sleep clinic again.

yes, ambian could have something to do with it. One of the side affects is hallucinations. But I cant rule out I havent been having these for awhile.

The Dr who sent me to the clinic is a pulmonologist and he is the Dr I think is full of shit so I am going to hunt down a sleep Dr.

I am fascintated by this now. It makes so much sense why I strain not to fall asleep, even tho I desperately want to. And it explains why even tho I have taken sleeping pills (ambian) they havent worked (or so I thought)

when I woke up this morning I thought I had slept thru the night uninterrupted, that they had simply slipped in and put the probes on me while I slept. I guess it was a good two hour struggle with me!

I do get to watch the video on Tuesday ...

On other news, I went to the eyes ears and nose Dr that the stupid Dr sent me to, who said I was anxious and had vocal cord dysfunction. The specialist scoffed and said nothing is wrong with my cords and my cords arent affected by anxiety. He laughed. He asked why the Dr said this. I wanted to say because I have a vagina but I caught myself....I figured I had already raised enough hell in the sleep clinic...

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness (Post 239326)

I spent the night at a sleep clinic last night because I have had months of problems not being able to fall asleep. Once asleep. I can sleep well, but falling asleep is a problem. I stay awake until 8, 9, 10 AM. So I go there and the dr gives me ambian.I explain I have been prescribed this before but it doesnt work. He says to just take it. I shrug.

Next thing I know I am waking up and the nurses are looking at me warily and asking me if I know where I am and who I am. Puzzled I answer appropriately and wonder why they are backing up as I climb out of bed.

hmmm...seems I hallucinate in my sleep. And what I think of as not falling asleep is me actually hallucinating. I go "elsewhere". Its like a blackout. I didnt know where I was nor why I was there. I pulled all the wires off of me several times. I was not combative nor violent, just difficult but in a playful giggling way. THey said it was like I had been drinking or the life of the party. I was dancing and saying "I bet you never saw anyone dance like THIS before". Trust me..I NEVER dance..I am very very shy about dancing. But there I was, bellydancing around the room! When they got close to put the wires back on I was wide eyed and amazed that the figures on their scrubs were moving and telling a story. I also reached into their pockets and took out their personal possessions. Sighing...so not me. I ran down the hall, skipping sideways. I sang to them, pressed my face against the windows, tried to undress, and did all kinds of similiar uninhibitive kind of things. It took them quite some time to get me to settle down in the bed. Eventually, I left the wires on, got quiet and did do the normal sleep.

funny thing is...my brain wave patterns showed NO difference between those times and the sleep time.

My Dr has to get the report and then I have to go see him. No one has ever told me I behaved like this when I sleep. To be honest, it sounds very similar to who I acted like when I relapsed. If this is what happens to me when I sleep, no wonder I dont want to fall asleep!

I am so unnerved....and wonder how if at all, this plays into my breathing problems...

I had two sleep studies and didn't think that you could pull the wires out but I was on meds so it didn't occur to me. How the hell did you get the wires out? There in there pretty good I think with some goop they put on your scalp. Interesting and would you do it again with out the ambien, maybe try lunesta instead and see if yo have sleep apnea its lifesaving to get the machine I have one and its getting better each night that I use it. It just takes time to get use to the mask that is all. Good luck!!

Lipstix...I cant answer your questions because I wasnt there...lol. I am only telling you what they told me I did. I feel the goop they put on me in my head. Nasty snotty crap. I am sure they are going to put me thru another round at the sleep clinic. I called there today and when I said my name the person said "oooo we heard about you today!" ooohhh jeeezzz...lol. I am infamous at the sleep clinic! Honestly. I took the pills. Then the next second I woke up and it was morning. Just like that. No memory of any of it. Like an alcoholic black out.

I just had an MRI on my left shoulder. I haven't been able to use it in about 3 months. That means no workouts which mean everything to me. I'll know results this week I think. If I don't get this fixed i'm going to f••king lose it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness (Post 239388)

Lipstix...I cant answer your questions because I wasnt there...lol. I am only telling you what they told me I did. I feel the goop they put on me in my head. Nasty snotty crap. I am sure they are going to put me thru another round at the sleep clinic. I called there today and when I said my name the person said "oooo we heard about you today!" ooohhh jeeezzz...lol. I am infamous at the sleep clinic! Honestly. I took the pills. Then the next second I woke up and it was morning. Just like that. No memory of any of it. Like an alcoholic black out.

That's very unprofessional, I'm sorry that happened to you.

Reading this story, and wanting to cry ~ how could someone do this to a helpless child, and for no apparent reason?

http://beta.ca.news.yahoo.com/grandm...death-off.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by softness (Post 239388)

Oh wow that is too bad I wish you luck and yes it is unprofessional that they said anything about your status as a patient in a sleep clinic. They are definitely going to test you again!! There must be something going on there...good luck

Looking ahead to a new year, the chance to move forward and starting to live My life as I see fit

Am missing a certain someone who only posts on weekends. A nice new special kind of friend!!! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by katsarecool (Post 239455)

Am missing a certain someone who only posts on weekends. A nice new special kind of friend!!! :)

Oh how nice for you kats!!

I was thinking that if I weren't as sick as I am,
that I would steal the gorgeous SD-
and run away from home for some girl time.
:vigil:

What the future may or may not hold.

I know what I want, but it's not only my decision. So.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lipstixgal (Post 239482)

Oh how nice for you kats!!

Ssshhh It's a secret!!! LOL Thank you!

I forgot , it slipped My mind and I don't remember :)

I just wish the various doctors taking care of my dad would talk with each other and give the family consistent information. So many doctors, so many conflicting messages. It is difficult to know who to listen to and what to do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matthew (Post 239408)

Reading this story, and wanting to cry ~ how could someone do this to a helpless child, and for no apparent reason?

http://beta.ca.news.yahoo.com/grandm...death-off.html

This is disgusting. Absolutely heartbreakingly disgusting. :(

I was reading an article about Libby, Montana today and the asbestos poisoning that's been going on for generations there. So sad. So very sad that no one, not the plant in charge (Grace), not the medical community (except for 3 (THREE!) EPA agents) and not the government has helped them willingly until just recently.

http://www.hcn.org/issues/292/15302

http://earthfirst.com/americas-top-1...tal-disasters/

http://www.aolnews.com/killer-in-the...Clink2%7C28821

You think you can trust people, the ones that smile in your face but then you find out you have to "be careful" what you tell them. I think that's lame.

Am completely stressed out this morning - likely a product of my own imagination.

Why am I stressed? Next week I will be on vacation. This is my first actual vacation from work in about 5 years. My last 2 vacations were tied in with losing my job either immediately before or shortly after my return. Both times my job was being eliminated - because one firm was closing and the other decided to move away from my area of expertise.

My current boss has gone through many assistants over the last few years. I have been there for 1 1/2 years and can do far more than past assistants. But I am far from perfect. No major screw ups but minor errors and mistakes - some from ignorance or lack of clairvoyant abilities, and others from my lack of diligence. But my work is not behind and I have been double and triple checking everything to make sure nothing that she needs next week is left undone.

My boss is not much of a communicator and I am not much of a mind reader. I hope to talk with her today, confirm my time off next week and see if there is anything else she needs me to do before the end of this week.

I'm fighting this stress and trying to keep it from having a negative effect on my job performance, but it is very distracting.

I wish I could talk with my Mom about it - this is adding to my stress too.

Jeez!:seeingstars:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Organicbutch (Post 239750)

You think you can trust people, the ones that smile in your face but then you find out you have to "be careful" what you tell them. I think that's lame.

Totally agree with you. I learned this lesson may years ago and have the occasional "refresher course"; often after letting my guard down.