Whoever invented knock-knock jokes...
 

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the paper's jammin' again.

I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I'm outstanding.

cows
 

What do you call a cow with no legs?

cow with no legs?????
 

ground beef?

Desperate for a date ...
 

A woman meets a man at a party. She says, "Haven't seen you around. Are you new to the neighborhood?"

He says, "I just got out of prison."

She says, "Prison? Why were you there?"

He says, "I killed my wife."

She says, "Oh, so your single?"

Q: Which part of the military do babies join?
A: The infantry.