Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?

A: A coffin.

corny jokes
 

Lesson in catching an elephant.
Dig a huge pit.
Fill the pit with burned ashes.
Surround the pit with peas.
When the elephant comes to take a pea.
Kick him in the ash hole.

Somebody should be telling PETA on you

Corny Jokes
 

LOL cute. I love all animals mostly not the human animal. SO, please don't report me. *G

Q:Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?

A: Because hy had no body to take.



Q: Who did the skeleton invite to the school dance?

A: Her goul-friend

Corny Jokes
 

So, how did you find the weather when you were visiting your grandmother?


Oh, I just went outside and there it was.

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin


Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet

Q: Why don’t mummies have friends?
A: They’re too wrapped up in themselves.

Corny Jokes
 

Q.) Why did the bike fall over?

A. It was too tired.

Q.) What do you call a pig that does karate?

A. Pork Chop.

Q.) Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the game?

A. In case he got a hole in one.

Q: What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?
A: A poultrygeist


Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A. For the Boos.


Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A. It’s a pain in the neck.

Corny Jokes
 

Which state is best known for small drinks?
MINNESOTA!

How do you heal a broken pumpkin?
With a PUMPKIN PATCH!

Where do boats go when they are sick?
To the DOCK!

Why did the man fall down the well?
He didn't see That Well!

Spring is here!
 

Q: How excited was the gardener about spring?
A: So excited she wet her plants.


Q: What did the mother worm say to the little worm who was late?
A: “Where in earth have you been?”


Q: What did the dirt say to the rain?
A: “If this keeps up, my name will be mud.”

Corny jokes
 

Why can't our noses be 12" long?
A--Cause then it would be a foot.

What do you call a pile of cats?
A-- A meow-train

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
A-- A receding hare line.

Why does a stadium heat up after a game?
A-- All the fans left.

Two sheep walk into a—baaaa

Q. What does a Turkey do the day after Thanksgiving?

A. She throws away the peacock disguise.

Corny jokes
 

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay they would be baygulls.

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall in the lake?
Oh dam.

corny jokes
 

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks: ”Is it trained?” The parrot replies: ”I’m trained but I’m not sure about my owner.”

---------.---------.---------.---------. :jester:


“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick,” (Story joke submitted by Jarod Kintz). :tease:

---------.---------.---------.---------.

There's a fine line between numerator and denominator. There's only a fraction of people who will get this clean joke. :eyebat:

Corny Jokes
 

1, Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

2,Why do divers exit the boat backwards to the water?

If they went forward they would still be in the boat.

The Beastie Boys are releasing a 5 part anthology.

Parts A-D are free, but you have to fight for your right to Part E.

Why did the fox cross the road?






For free chickens!

Love this thread!
 

My neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 o'clock this morning!


Thank goodness I was already awake practicing my bagpipes.

Corny Jokes
 

Why did the bad chicken cross the road?

For foul reasons.

Where do books sleep???

— Under their covers.

Q: What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?

A: An elk a seltzer.

Corny Jokes
 

why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Cause they lactose.


How do rabbits get to far away places?

They take the hareplane.

:)
 

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender.

"I'll have a gin and.................tonic."

The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"

The polar bear replies, " I don't know, I've always had them."

Corny Jokes
 

What did the horse say after he tripped?

Help I've fallen and I can't giddyup


What did the triangle say to the circle?

You really are pointless.

Did you hear about bailiff who moonlighted as a bartender???

— He served subpoena coladas.

🐾🐾🐾🍸🍸🐾🐾🐾

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says “I’ll have one too.” The third vampire says “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”

The bartender says “So that will be two bloods and a blood lite???”

A horse walks into a bar.

The shocked bartender said “HEY!!”

The horse said “Buddy, you read my mind.”

:cheesy:

Corny Jokes
 

An elf walks into a toy store and starts going over all the toys. Manager comes over and looks at him and says, "excuse me are you suppose to be doing that?"

Elf says "I don't have time to talk I need to get this work done".

Manager says, "how do I know you are suppose to have this job?"

Elf says "I am in the union and I don't need this idle talk"

Manager says "pardon me but how do I know you are registered?"

Elf says "I am suppose to do this, orders from the big guy".

Manager says "not without telling me you are here, you could be a thief"

Elf says "I follow all the rules so I forgot one, big deal"

Manager says "you would have known had you read the SANTA CLAUSE"

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Corny jokes
 

I put two in high/low room by mistake. There now two mistakes this year.

<:
 

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?




Attire.

✨✨✨✨** voodoo ** ✨✨✨✨
 

What do you call a Voodoo Live Stream?

— Twitch Craft.

:jester:

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Voodoo.

Voodoo you think you are asking all these questions???