...
 

a pair of sweet brown eyes..:seeingstars:

A business proposition..

Last minute work BS. One more "emergency" because folks working on an issue were ignored when they tried to plan ahead and I may blow a gasket. In fact tomorrow is Friday. I may blow one for good measure.

:fastdraq:

going back to work on Sunday as a PSO2 working for a Sgt that I trained when she made CPL she is a good person and a friend this is going to be hard on all of us

Someone special.

Wishing that someone was here.

Less than a year ago, I wouldn't dream of eating onions or cucumber or fermented foods. Look at me now!

My dad, I'm thinking about him, having just hung up the phone from a long conversation where we got out our laptops and he went over the spreadsheet with me that he sent this morning and has been updating since 2009 with his blood levels;

the red and white blood count, the platelets, hemoglobin, nutrophil, etc., and noting changes related to events like his chemo, or the neupogen injections, and switching from this tab to that tab to look at the percentage increases or decreases,

and bottom line—since it seems he is easing into the more acute form of leukemia—he has to decide whether or not he wants to undergo the more intense chemo that would be the treatment for it, or just try to enjoy the two or three months he might have.

And that decision is not numerically based, in the least, but the data makes him feel better, so I hang in there for the analysis, and have flashbacks to sitting at our kitchen table, doing my math homework, and the weary exasperation in his voice, as I struggled to stay focused.

The gnarly argument I had with my temp. roommates at 2, 3, and 4 in the morning this am.
the are grossly disrespectful- at one point I watched myself being less than how I'd prefer, yelling and angry just fed up to no end,
I guess it was what happens when I hold my frustrations in for weeks and when all other means of trying to get them to honor their signed house rules agreement fails-
I ma glad the law protects people but I am discouraged I cannot just force them to exit. So I have a few more days to wait
I think the biggest things that came from this is I realized the male appears to have an addiction issue (like me) which explains much of the irresponsible and blatant disrespect by him - he seems completely unaware that his behavior of breaking contract time and time again is a problem-It puzzled me for weeks until I noticed his drinking habits to be connected each time

And its a lesson and a half for me- these people are a result of my impulsive roommate choice from fear of financial insecurity at the time and also the lesson that I am human and being angry is ok but I did apologize for the way it came out- I was not proud. but I am human and fallible :)

:( sorry you are so miserable
sending warm healing energies :tea::gimmehug: hope it helps. feel better

I am currently thinking about the code green at work today. (missing person)
and wondering if it was the guy who climbed the roof threatening to jump or the lady on the sidewalk drinking a pint.

Ahhh what a day! Happy it wasn't ME

OH and really really HAPPY the young man I comforted yesterday - came back today and was also able to get his needs met by seeing his DR which I arranged.
:) that seriously made my day

Mind is spinning...
 

-My daughters and granddaughters, whom I spent the day with.
-Cleaning.
-Puppies arthritis and his pain.
-New art projects.
-Other new art projects.
-Doctors appointments and questions.
-When will my suv be ready.
-Love the car, but really want the truck back.
-Valentines day plans.
-ice cream

Ok, ice cream wins... I am going to eat some and forget everything else.

thinking of you with prayers :) please keep us informed. HUGS HUGS HUGS

I wish I could make her feel better right now.
I would take all the pain for her in a heart beat if I could but my girl is stronger then she gives herself credit for! Maybe tomorrow will be better and I know Saturday will be. :rrose:

Now if I could only get some sleep. :cigar2:

This insomnia. I am ready to sleep but I just can't get there yet.

The possiablities that chocalte, strawberries, whip cream, and time can bring

Whaaat....?
 

The fact that I was "logged-on" here all night, and didn't even know it...:blink:

~~~Chasing paper...:greendollar:

I have an application in through the city for a good job and it is one of those that you have to jump through hoops to get. I have to "self schedule" the next step and nothing is showing up on my application yet to do so. I can't help but sit here and bight my nails in fear I checked a box wrong here or didn't check a box there. Whether they will ever tell me if I checked a box wrong here or didn't check a box there. Or if the fact we got a little "inclement weather" and the human resources person down town just didn't show up for work today to post the scheduling or something. I hate that my life is kind of balancing on wether I get this job or not (even though @ will tell me it's not) and just waiting. Or that the wrongs in my past will for ever interfere with my future. ugh.

OK so I just checked on my application status and it let me "jump through the next hoop" and schedule the next step.

OMG I need a drink...

I so relate-the only thing the same in my life from the last two years is that I survived the changes clean and sober.
Everything else has been rearranged, changed and lost but I guess the good part is the deep amazing lessons that i suppose could not come any other way

Its really insane. Hang in there-

Is not what's on my mind; its what isn't...........

Knowing that good things lie ahead for me and my health.

in my mind..
 

plainand simple she is..just her...

What is on my mind right now is money. I hate that stuff. You have to have it for rent, electricity, water, garbage pick up, food, clothing, heat, a vehicle, gas for the vehicle... All of these things I just can't live without. I don't mind not having a lot... I am perfectly content actually without most things... but why is everything I HAVE to have becoming SO DARN EXPENSIVE...

every day on facebook I see so many wonderful animals up for adoption or ready to be destroyed. It breaks my heart. Last week I gave 100.00 to help move a dog from a kill shelter to a rescue knowing that she was older and may spend the rest of her life in that shelter or worse. I'm so fucking sick of the irresponsibility of humans. The idiot who decides its ok to go get a puppy with a new relationship and then they break up and the dog goes to the pound. So sick of the puppy seekers and assholes who give a dog up because they move or use the fucking excuse "I just don't have time." Well you should have thought about that when you took a living thing into your life.

I am heartbroken lately over the vast amount of neglect I see towards animals. I wish I would win the lotto because i'd damn sure take a major chunk out of this stupid shit.

The tears I have cried tonight. For what? I don't know. I wish I had the answer to that. Nerves? Being tired? Wishing? I don't know if I can cry anymore tonight. I will make a pot of tea and wait for this to pass.

sorry your hurting..:(

Thanks. I don't know what this is. I don't want to sound cliche and say cramps but I am thinking there's just a lot coming out tonight, a change in energy. I am hoping it's a cleanse because this came out of nowhere. I will be alright, I just need to allow myself to come back together.

you can sound anyway you like- if you hurt you hurt the cause is irrelevant
shifting in energy is always hard - I wish you the best at coming back to your center

I keep going further and further into myself and pulling out things that I didn't know were sitting there. My temper may also be flaring and it's probably completely invalid as to why.

I have a lot in my head but at the same time I am fluttering with relaxing energy. All good things! There are some good people in there too ;)