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The challenges I am facing next week and my strong desire to overcome them all.
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10:30 tomorrow morning...
After looking at a friend's Cathedral pictures she recently took, I'm feeling a little homesick for a morning of sitting through Mass. I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore but still feel attached to it at times. When at the hospital I still say I'm Catholic and would still feel right having a priest come in for my last rights. It was so deeply ingrained into my every fiber growing up that no matter how I say I am not a part of any organized religion, I have moments like this where I desire to be around it. I think the last time I sat through Mass was about 10 years ago. I have no intention to make it a regular thing... and this may very well hold me for another 10 years, but for now I just have a sudden need to be present. To be wittness. To go through the motions. To have that old familiarity. To walk in quietly, sit by myself, attend the service, say all the prayers that I haven't said in forever but would easily say them as if I had never skipped a Sunday, and leave. I don't want to speak to anyone, be recognized or even acknowledged but I know that isn't so. That if nothing else, when it's time to give peace to others it's inevitable or when I walk out to leave the priest will be standing there to see each and every person off and will extend his hand to me. But if this is all I have to do to have an hour or so (depending on how winded the priest is) to get that moment of homecoming, I will. Oh boy do I hope the homily isn't a rant that is going to be a disappointment. Guess we'll see... |
Life in...
...abundance.
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my furkids they are so cuddly jules is on the arm of the couch phoebe on my feet grace is snoozing on the other couch
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Cuddling, Valentines and how many beer it will take to get me through the game tomorrow. Oh boy.
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Late night randomness...
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Family movie night
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Wishing I could find my center again. Knowing it will happen just life has taken everything I have to give and depleted it. I lay here all alone with my thoughts wondering what today will bring. This is so different than what I had expected, imagined. there is a reason for everything. I just need to be patient.
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Sleep is eluding me. Guess its time to get up. Maybe the pups will sleep in. That would be nice so I can have some coffee. Lol
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Mind
Nothing today im resting body and mind!
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A mountain of homework.
When I need to leave tomorrow for doctor. Hopeful outcomes from this. To do lists. |
Friends and floating. The rest I can tune out.
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When I say to someone "do not contact me" "do not call me every again" or otherwise, leave me alone, they continue to call, contact me and bother me. It is my right to have only healthy people in my life and when someone crosses boundaries with me over and over again, can not respect my life, my wishes or my mind, the door gets closed.
Oddly when a masculine identified person behaves this way to a feminine identified person, this is seen as totally inappropriate, but when a feminine identified person decides to trample all over the boundaries of a masculine identified person, this is ok? No is No is NO, coming from a femme, butch, man, woman, Transperson, anyone. |
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Sun- You've been warned about these types of posts once before. We also have a notice at the top of the page and a TOS prohibiting these types of posts. You are now on a 2-week time-out for dragging drama into the forums. During that time, you are not to access BFP nor contact any of the Mods or Admins. Failure to comply will result in a permanent ban. Thanks, Admin |
I'm a good girl.
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Valentine's Day. It has been a very long time since I've been able to say with confidence that I'm feeling happy enough to celebrate it beyond myself. I love having friends to remind me how beautiful things are.
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He is... always...
Wondering how the training of my new coworker is going to go... She seems very sharp and picks up things quickly.. Glad my cold is slowly letting up... I just might be better soon.. yeah! Watching Riley the sweet lab and CoCo the bouncing schnauzer sleep while Peppa The Holy Terror beagle stares at me deep in thought... it is those moments I wonder just what she is thinking.. be afraid... very afraid!! my mind says lol... |
hmmm
an old oasis song... theres so many things i would like to say to you but I don't know how...maybe I really do know how but maybe you just aren't ready to hear them....maybe not but hedging my bets is on my mind....:blush:
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WHenever I see this thread title I just want to come in here and type....
Georgia.... soooooo GEORGIA... :) |
I just heard this song from "Peace , Love & Misunderstanding" It was a wonderful movie!!!! I couldn't find a good clip of the song on youtube so I figured I would just share the lyrics. Fantastic musician! I seem to be finding more of those these days.
The Devil's got my secret By Mieka Pauley Oh, to take sorrow and use it as a crutch And have all you need and never know it as such Oh, to want the warmth of fire and get the burn of its touch I think about you way too much The devil's got my secret He swore he'd never tell I left it for safe-keeping I'll pick it up in hell A match is struck only once, the thought's struck more than twice Honesty's a virtue that is wavering like a vice Yeah, it screams in two directions, yeah, it cuts like a knife I'll think about you all my life The devil's got my secret He swore he'd never tell I left it for safe-keeping I'll pick it up in hell I will pick it up in hell Should I choose the one way, my life goes on My world's not broken, my home's not gone Oh, but should I choose the other, so sweet, and wrong No, I'll think about you, then continue on The devil's got my secret He swore he'd never tell I left it for safe-keeping And, oh, he keeps it well The devil's got my secret He swore he'd never, never tell I left it for safe-keeping I'll pick it up in hell I will pick it up in hell I will pick it up in hell |
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titles....
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Awesome shoulder/back and perhaps a foot massage!
Could be the wine talking :wine: |
Patience.......
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Another weekend has come and gone without my landlord doing more of his share to get the skunks out of here he talked the good talk to the trapper on how he is gonna build this thing to go around the trap to keep the skunks from climbing over the trap to get under my house..rent is due..maybe i should charge him 25 bucks a day until the skunks are gone..thats how much i am charged if i am late with my rent a day.
anywho i am taking it in my own hands to build something to block the skunks..i am pretty much beyond pissed.and all he is doin is blowin smoke up my dress..fuker |
On my mind
I want mexican food for lunch!
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Thinking about my future
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Last night...
Thoughts I hadn't had before. Waking up with Bunny and pressing her paw to hear His lullaby. Today and how I feel. Glad I feel rather than numbness Wondering how the week will go. Training my new Coworker is going well so far. He is... Always.. |
i have many thoughts, but one in particular is sharing experiences through my eyes
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thinking about how easy it is for some ppl to just push you away ~ how can u ever trust ?
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I agree! They must do it all the time, to not be effected from it and continue to do so. |
I'm getting a little cranky with the company that is verifing the last five years of my life...
They couldn't verify that I went to school and do I have anything that proves that I actually went to school? Um no, I toss paperwork after I'm done with it...(I have to watch my hording tendencies)...Ok took three voicemails and two days to get the records person from school to call me back and five mins for her to call the agent and verify that I was was enrolled when I said I was... ok.. that's it right? Nope, today I get a email saying I didn't work someplace as long as I said I did and what was I doing for that extra year? Blink.. So, I find my last paystubs ( I had paystubs going back to 1996.. see what I mean about hording issues) for this job and ask her if those would work.. Nope.. need w2's... Ok.. a lil more of a hunt than paystubs.. Paystubs get put into one trunk.. My 2009 taxes? I don't know... that was the year that Mitmo and I moved in together and I lost my desk.. (Before then the last five years of tax returns lived in the tax return cubby on my desk) I found my taxes from 1995-2007 with no issue...2008 took a little while, 2009? fucking forever... My study looks like a bomb has gone off in it... My 2009 w2's were downstairs with the craft supplies I havent touched since we moved into this house.. So.. I find my w2's for that job and I can't use them... I hand wrote the information in... That was the first year that the company I worked for didn't send out W2's, you had to download them and I was out of ink... UGHHHHH.... So I call the store, spoke to the manager, he gave me hr's number at corporate, who in turn transfered me payrole and verification.. She verified my dates as the dates I gave and will fax the information to my recruiter... Oy... I know that the third pary uses clearning houses and auto websites to do their verifications, and when humans are touching data, mistakes happen... but still... I'm hoping this is the last one.. If not, I think I should get part of the fee that they pay that third party to verify me... |
my iphone-
I updated it a few days back and the update erased all my music and I get get it to re-sync My itunes keeps telling me "waiting for changes" when I try to sync it but I have no clue what those changes are. :( A trip to apple store may be in order!!!! |
My future, and the prayers we sent up over the weekend.
The old hurts and fears I'm letting go about childbearing. My boy, and the tears she dashed away this morning when I was leaving. I keep seeing that lost & lonely little boy staring at me as I drove away. I felt so cruel. Patience. |
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Wondering when my puppy is going to calm down!? I mean, wow.
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My projects, life in general, shop ideas/promotional ideas, crushes, movie dates and intimacy (especially kissing)
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