How so many blessings were bestowed upon me this 4th day of February 2013.

One things that needs to be tended to asap is showing up as a walk-in first thing in the morning at my doctor's office so I can be seen for conjunctivitis. Nasty ickiness!!
:shithappens:

...don't let me forget I have dinner in the oven...knowing my mind recently, I'll forget

Just reminding you that you have dinner in the oven! lol

in my mine
 

flying kites on Folly beach...looooong time ago....parallel lives...:moonstars:

New beginnings.
New perspectives.
Feeling like my sanity has be restored. :)

CIJS I got over my guilt about lunch and a movie [The Hobbit] with a friend tomorrow while the boi will be home, and she just canceled on me.. :|

I am never one to do anything by myself, but am seriously considering going to the library for some books, an iced coffee and then going to see the damned movie by myself! Cause I *really* want to see it, and my only other friend interested in it already saw it.. and we were supposed to go together!

desd...i take myself to the movies all the time. i like it. but I suppose doing stuff on your own like that does take some getting used to. if go with ya of we lived closer. :-)

some things on my mind:

is it worth it to consistently make myself available for people who do not consistently make themselves available to me? i'm beginning to think not. even though it's hard to find and make friends in this icy town of mine.

I watched 22 episodes of Once Upon A Time last weekend. I am not pleased with the ending. someone please tell me they didn't cancel this show.

My boss got a card for one of my Co-workers who is about to be a first time father. i'm supposed to pass the card around for signatures from the office. I don't want to. The reason? The picture of the baby on the card is a white baby with blonde hair. The parents to be are a Chinese-American couple. Am I being too sensitive on this? How would it look if I got a different card and passed it around instead? :|

This week needs too be over. Soon. C'mon weekend!

What is on my mind is that I was just passed up for a job... that I have been doing on a temp basis since October... I have no idea why, because everyone I work with has said I am doing an excellent job. SOOO... yeah, they just handed it to someone else. How amazing... back to the drawing board.

On my mind
 

My buddy Shawn just called and said :Hey im asking Brenda to marry me Friday night! You up for a party at your house. Okay quess im not going away this week-end. (lol) Maybe ill ask someone to marry me too. (j-k)

I vote go with a different card.....

Katniss~~

all the cleaning I have to do from temp roommates who gratefully left this morning.
and the meeting I have with Vocational Rehab counselor this afternoon to make a plan to help fund me getting through my BA/MA education. Thanks you state of CA and I guess I can thank my injuries that they are severe enough to qualify me for it
And my new roommate moving in in a few days.. Nice guy

I don't think you're being too sensitive- its empathy and consideration

I am sure you will come up with something wonderful. Don't let them keep you down, Jennie!

Homework that is not being cooperative.

How do I make everything come together? I know life will guide my direction but there are so many things I need to do in the meantime to get everything going. It will be another long night. I hope I have enough tea.

A need deep in me.

Wouldn't you know it. A couple days ago, I'd ruled out going to Austin for the halfway reunion party. Then yesterday, I found out about a conference for science teachers being held The Week Before...in San Antonio.

The conference would be helpful for teaching ideas and technology training, it's true. OTOH, it's a cost I don't really need to be spending now, it's time away from home, and it's not imperative that I go this year. It would have been nice if the weeks had coincided, even if I was conferencing during the days ;).

I have a long slow fuse and rarely get angry. If I do it is usually with myself and more like frustration.

There is about one person that I can express that to, and I did today.

It feels wrong to unload like that onto someone who just wants to be empathetic. I really need to keep that to myself. What a way to reward somebody for caring.

:(

You just can't unsay stuff.

There is a lot weighing on my mind tonight. I don't know how to process it all. I have been taking in the peaceful morning with a cup of tea, reflecting on everything that has happened in the last 24 hours and I am unsure where life is going to take me.

I am a little in shock, a little nervous and very much confused. I cannot sleep and for the sake of my sanity I am just going to to clean out my things at work and move on.

I have a lot to consider right now. For the last month I have been floating above everything, confident in my decisions, ready to make things happen and have had a smile glued to my face while fluttering in an abundance of vibrant energy.

Tonight I feel the complete opposite. I am still happy and floating but there is a mist creeping up. A storm perhaps? I don't know how to calm it so I guess I am meant to ride it out.

I haven't been myself the last few days. The closer I am to feeling completely free, the more on edge I become.

I daydream, wish and wonder about the experiences I've shared recently and those I will enjoy down the road. I feel shifts everywhere. There are a lot of changes about to take place in my life. I think I am ready? I want to close my eyes and feel my senses soar again.

I will be happy, whatever happens.

I miss so many of of my friends and so many of the things I used to do. I am trying to live my life the way I know is right for me and I want to balance it all with my other desires. Where did things turn? Why did they have to turn this week? How much has really turned and how much is just my perception?

I hope I wake up and the fog will be lifted into the best mood filled with kindness and all of the little things I love, including my crushes.

why is it that I wake up more tired than what I was when I went to bed

I don't know but that has been happening to me too... so if you find out let me know :cheesy:

My mind
 

How lucky I am to live on 5 acres. Im gonna plow soon and grow lots of veggies and berries this year. Thank god im a country boy!

I still have "sleep" in my eyes, I need to go back to bed. I already got dressed earlier and I want today to be a pajama day in the worst way. The problem is if I get undressed I will have to get dressed again to go to the store later. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll say screw it, skip the grocery store and go to the corner store in my pj pants. I'm only going to get water in case the water system gets shut down in the storm.

I want breakfast. A big breakfast. I wonder if the local diner delivers breakfast? They deliver everything else. I'm too tired to cook, even though I should. *Sigh*

Is it sad this is all my brain is able to process today? It has been such a long week. Once I stop for more then a couple of hours, my exhaustion kicks in and comes to fight off my insomnia. I do believe that is a sign that I needed this break from work before starting the new job.

Mind
 

Was 72 yesterday raining today. (wtf) I hope it stops. I am not wanting 60 people in my house tomorrow night for Shawns engagement party. Ill pray like hell it stops raining. (lol)

How very hurtful just a handful of words can be

What is on my mind right now...
 

files, records, lists, organization... and upcoming appointments

The conversation I had tonight.
Music old and new
Not being able to text my babygirl makes for a worried guy!
This time last year.
She is and the smile she put there.
Oh did I say she is of course....