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The tent trailer friends helped me find. It's soon in my reach! I am thinking about the flea market today and how good it feels to have been able to pass on some of the things that other people will get use out of.
I am really tired today but in an extremely good and calm mood. I need to cook and prepare myself to get back to work tomorrow. I am thinking about friends, floating, tea and all of the cooking I need to do between multi tasking. |
If I were a John Hughes movie character , who would I be? Rather if I were to be portrayed as one of those characters, who would I be? This is deep thinking.
Did you know John Hughes also did Maid in Manhattan, home alone and other classics and not just the 80's teen movies? |
Mind
My art and I need to start dating. Honestly waking up next to a cat is cool but theres more to life!
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The strength, integrity, and compassion of the two beautiful women I had dinner with last night. They are as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside and I am grateful to have them in my life.
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I am thinking that it is time to get changed out of my good clothes and into pajamas after a hot shower.
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My 5 boys just decided unanimously, that they dislike their wet cat food (they only eat wet). The only one that I can find locally and affordably, that is in the large can, is the one they have decided to dislike (they eat 2 large cans between the 5 of them, daily). I'm certain that the recipe must have changed drastically, without any information provided to the consumer, or they would not have made a unanimous decision on every flavor of this food.
I have spent the last 2 hours scouring the net. I think I may have an alternative, that can be shipped, and will only cost me about $8 more per month. They better fucking like it, or I will be buying a meat grinder and spending the rest of my days in my kitchen, making pet food from scratch and pressure canning it. I'm certain that this would seal the deal on my "Cat Lady" status. :| |
Artwork for my business projects/ideas
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Heart and Soul - that's what's on my Mind
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Kittens have such sharp claws!! I can see how this one got the name "trouble"
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This shift ending at midnight just will not do. I wish my life wasn't so complicated.
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top of my noggin is this:
i wonder if #24 is gonna be feeling that slam dunk when he wakes up later today i got some great information tonight my birth grandmother is willing to sit down with me and give me any information i want on my medical history..i think i am going to grab one of those family history questionares that you get from the doctors..i have an appointment at noon so it comes at a perfect time. i also got told the guy who i was told earlier is my birth father might not be him i felt defeated for some reason when it sunk in. the birth grandmother is trying to remember but she is 84 i believe. guess i should be at ease..but i am not..i am scared :nailbitin: |
~ so easy to remember ~ and yet so hard to forget ~ some things that is ~
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Mind
Im gonna take off with my camera for a year. Where are the best places to go?
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strongbutch a cruise to Yemen ? open seas ~ old architecture ~ just an idea ~
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Festival of Lights in Thailand or the Aurora Borealis! :)
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Quote:
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My mind is a bit of a scary and confusing place right now but beyond those snippets of thoughts is my source of strength and wisdom.
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I am thinking about my friends while I make supper and do more organizing. I am also thinking about how to bring up a topic of conversation without knowing the reaction.
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Turning 50 next Monday. I have lived half of a century. Aging has been pretty kind to me though. Can I graduate from the school of life yet?:cheer:
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Tomorrow morning 7am.
Diagnostics on "the lump." Oy. My brain needs a rest on this one. :blink: |
blankety blank stupid effing email hijackers.
So sorry I accidentally went over to a law enforcement buddy's house (I'll take computer forensics for 500, Alex) so I could use a secure system that's not linked to me, followed your breadcrumbs home, dl every darn thing I could find about you, notified IT at work, and turned the resulting mess over to said law enforcement buddy to play with. The scope and depth of your sleazitude will make for hours of entertainment. |
I sat down for a minute between my house work and saw this video. This is making me think...
What is shown here is a feudal system. Where the wealth "lords" determine what is right for their "serfs". This system doesn't work... and somethings got to change. |
Quote:
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Words and the power we attribute to them.
I am also daydreaming and thinking about the impact of my decisions (mostly for the best) |
update
On my mind
Things really can turn on a dime. Much to my amazement friends and business associates from the past have stepped in to become business partners so I have Not lost my business. Even more surprising they insist on my not moving and have made it possible for me to stay living and working by the sea. While I was looking forward to returning to the mt; this is better for now. On top of that one or two new customers makes a difference in production business. That happened too. I gained a customer. Thankyou for listening and thank you to those who left me notes. Very nurturing and unforgettable. Bowing down. |
Last night and the feelings/energy that surrounds me today. organizing, sleep, coffee and lunch. My friends are always on my mind and so are my projects and plans.
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Giovanna, my Boston terrier...she is not doing too well, health-wise.
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Quote:
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yesturday , today and tomorrow
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What's on my mind....
I'm sitting here, tear-stained face after having just seen my ex. She looks great, dressed well, but she's not healthy or happy inside either. I can see it in her eyes. I know her that well. And while I still hold love for her and always will, seeing her made me realize without an ounce of longing that I do NOT want her back. So WHY does it still hurt so much? What can I do to get through this?
I look on Facebook, see a picture of a rain-soaked rose and the directions to share the image if you have a brother or sister that means the world to you. Kim; my only sister, my older sister, the one who protected me against a woman who was mentally, physically, and sexually abusive-- and at times neglectful, my biological mother; is gone as of January 17th this year. I love and miss her so much, and the reality that she is truly gone comes and goes and eats away at my already fragile heart. I feel like less of a person and less of what a man is supposed to be-- despite the fact that I am a transman AND content with THIS aspect of myself-- as my ego is crushed because of my medical needs. I am struggling because I am not the strong one this time who others can rely on, but rather, the one in need of help. And I am grateful and blessed that I do have a few good friends who support me and look out for me and don't look down on me when I crumble. I never pretended to be "Superman"; I'm simply "Clark Kent" with good intentions and the willingness to be hurt if needed. So why do I hold myself up to such standards when everyone, everywhere sometimes needs help? Why can't I let go of my ego and be okay with it? My life feels like a bad country song right now: have to redo my semester because I was in the hospital and will not be able to make up the work in time, lost my girl (time and time again, but this time-- and somewhat thankfully as she was manipulative and abusive-- for good, lost my apartment, my dog and cat, and she has my car. Needless to say, I'm in a bad place at this moment, and while I know it'll pass and in a few days, my mind will sort through the funk and leave me smiling and hopeful again, I just wish I could be hugged, really hugged-- a real, genuine hug. While online hugs are great reminders that people care and I always value the sentiment, it's the warmth of skin I crave, of a friend or loved one holding me, assuring me that I'm still strong, that I'm going to be okay. I'm normally the one holding others, tightly in along my chest, my lips resting along their brow, stroking their backs, reminding them that life never gives us more than we can handle. Just wish I had a bit of that for myself right now. |
Ever have those moments where you have way too much time to think and you come up with the weirdest thoughts? I had that today, so here goes.....the phrase now and then as in I do that every now and then. What the hell does that mean? It just doesn't make sense when you really think about it. Trust me, I had a lot of time to think about it. I work in a factory doing the same thing over and over (2,384 times today alone!)
So that was what was on my mind :blink: |
Steriods
i have been on on them for 3 weeks and will be on them for at least another 2 weeks, this little pill is kicking my ass it amazes me while yes making my body do what it is supposed to do to make it better but in turn is making me feel like pure crap |
A nice relaxing movie tonight with awesome company
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Quote:
You have support here and you WILL be okay. I don't think you are any less of a person, of a man or less strong. Sometimes to really BE strong, you need to do what you just did. You need to let it out and trust that you are provided with the tools you need. Guess what, you already have been. You are still here. You sound like such a wonderful person and somebody is going to appreciate that someday. I know it's always harder when we are the ones in the position who need help, especially when our ego rarely lets us admit it. I am here. If you need somebody else to talk to, please feel free to pm me? I know online hugs aren't the same but aside from being here to listen and sending you comforting thoughts while keeping you in mine, it is all I can do. (((Hugs)))) |
I had a strange little connection and I am not sure if it is just in my head or not. It wasn't anything bad and I am just waking up from a long nap.
I am thinking about my friends, my projects and showering. |
i have the local news on..
winter storm comin snow up higher,rain,thunder,messy then there is what is really going on: rural 14 yr old girl missing,found dead days later right behind the high school guy is caught that did it. everyone is still on high alert now it seems another child in another rural town was followed. here in my town 3 people were struck by cars in less then a week. one was found dead, hit and run about a week later they found the guy that did it..56 yrs old.. the world just seems like it needs to S-L-O-W down! stop for just a second.look around you..observe...take it in! :countpetal: :wine: |
I am wondering how much camping gear is actually in my storage unit. I will have to add that to my list of things to do next month.
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On my mind is the dreams I've had the last few nights
Sunday Night I dreamt I was digging through pieces of of peoples crap (literally) looking for little pieces of Gold Monday night I dreamt of being panicked and searching all over for my EX and once I just decided to go home -there she was. And of course homework-I am taking very similar classes were dealing a lot with heavy issues. discrimination, hate, culture and communication biases. seems every night I'm reading, writing or researching. Fricken tired... |
Quote:
Either I go into a deep sleep and forget what I am dreaming or my dreams are really vivid and usually comforting. I almost always wake up smiling and feeling a really strong happy energy. Lately (the last 2-3 days) I have been having strange dreams. This has happened before and I think it's related to not getting a lot of sleep at night. I cannot tell if these dreams are supposed to mean something or whether it's just a way for my mind and body to process the emotions that have been lingering. |
Mind
Gonna take off tommorrow. Why wait?
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