Im sooo confused. Everyone is interpreting, but I got no confirmation or clarity from the OP.

True true, I am just not getting where skin color is the important part unless it would be easier to be rejected for a really generalized thing like skin tone rather than who she is as a person?

Tell them you like them and see where it all falls out...worst that can happen is they say no?

I am still at a loss

Dragonfly, if you are asking when is the right time in the course of a new friendship/relationship to ask if the person dates someone of a different color, the time is when the question needs an answer. Obviously its now.

Just ask her out. If she says yes, its because she likes you, not because of what color you are.

stop fussing. Dating is suppose to be fun. You are swooning over her. Stop looking for pitfalls and just ask her out...

nice
 

I really love the way you worded this post. Thank you!

ha
 

Hey its too late, and yeah I am crushing even more inspite of myself, but thank you cause you are right. No logical reason not to ask anybody I like to go out with me. Unless the convo is so amazing and deep that I'd be afraid of making it weird or uncomfy...everybody else feels a person out for more than a week before dating right? Do people date the same as back when I used to get asked on a date? The only fuss is how my screen looks better edited than it actually is.

Hi Dragonfly,
I have found that honestly just adoring someone for who they are as a person, and not worrying about color and culture go a long way. When I hear the phrase "white elephant" it sounds like you expect relating to a person from another culture, to be an issue. Or that there is going to be something to work out. I sense it is out of nervousness of a new experience, but that mindset creates an unnecessary barrier. Take a deep breath and enjoy the opportunity of getting to know and appreciate the PERSON for who they are.

Everyone enjoys honest attention, and interest. Approach a friend from a culture that's new to you: with respect, listen, have an open mind an open heart, then enjoy and share. It really can be that simple. Embrace them, look for common ground.

La Perla

Race
 

I love this thread! It's like oB said u date ppl who know that u don't care about race or culture, yes it's nice to acknowlegde it but not hold back because of it. That's like ummm.....well give me a mintue. Okay next post I'll have something

A few pearls of wisdom, that were handed down to me when I needed them:

Every human on this planet is the same...we all have wants, needs, desires.

If you don't ask, you will never know.

If they reject you, bounce back! Don't play games! Enjoy yourself and you will find yourself surrounded by positive people - at least one of whom will think of you romantically!!

Don't make it so much about being in "head space"! Try not to think it out so much!!!

To quote Nike...Just Do It!! :) Be brave! Accept Rejection! Accept Acceptance!! Have fun! Enjoy life! Do the things you love to do and you will meet someone you are compatible with! If they don't date outside their race, move on! You can't help your skin color, as they can't help theirs, if they don't know that, it's their loss!!

Dating/Relationships are about so much more than what you see! Would you want to be with someone who had to think about the fact that you aren't matchy-matchy on the outside???

Just my 2 cents!! Good luck in life, in dating, in relationships, but most of all, with being happy & loving yourself!! :) :) :)

Lucky
 

Maybe I've been lucky! But since it was made legal for differ race to marry. Why is it such a continuing problem? Our jobs, hobbies, lives brings us closer together...they makes us realize we aren't so much different. But yet do you think using terms like "jungle fever" adds to problems?

That's true baby. But I don't care I will proudly hold your hand. Unless other black people are around then I will pretend like I'm giving you directions. :|

hey ya
 

Yes I have been enjoying our time very much. But no I haven't agreed to a date yet like you say my speed is to get to know someone dating is saying you want more than friends. As for the race issue, I considered asking her but before I had a chance I learned the race of some of her past partners and a few things came up while we were hanging out at a club that showed me we are on the same page in spite of our area and some of our peers. If I could go back to the convo we had about what's your "type" I would have just asked then what she experienced in our area. I just felt rude or worried its not the same as gender and sexuality and offend her. Thanks for adding your viewpoint! The more the better regardless of where I am in the relationship others may wonder how they should approach the topic with a stranger.

Ps we like each other A LOT but aren't in a rush to get " romantic" dating too fast and have amazing convo!

:rrose:

So true and in a perfect world we'd all approach others with best intent and never unknowingly hurt them by breaking social norms. In situations concerning dating and racial differences, it is partly about where you live and who you and that person are friends with. It is not cured, and I just had the butterflies so bad I really needed to hear someone else say yes it is a subject that is not rude to bring up and that I shouldn't leave the burden of that question on the other person but to state that I'm not avoiding dating because of race are you and explain why I move slow. No biggie. It could have easily been a question I asked in the ptsd thread but I wanted to be specific to her on the subject. That I do date outside mine. Thanks truly!

hi
 

Hi. Thanks so much for adding to the thread! I have a friend in israel who considers "jewish" his race/heritage and religion. I'm not sure if you mean to compare religiously and racially but I agree that it is ok for anyone to have a "type" life partner that best fits their priorities. At one time my friend discussed here did not date a certain race and had reasons I understand and don't judge. A wider experience and exposure to the world outside your neighborhoods unlinks stereotypes and lies from the truth. Morals and priorities are different in every culture. I'm not a judgy person just care to prevent others getting hurt.

:)
 

NOPE! I'm unskilled and horribly inexperienced with dating in general.... Thanks for asking though.