There's something about informal kinds of sanctions like the ones you are talking about that make me nervous. They are as old as humanity, but i don't know. Maybe they are guaranteed to be more fair in face-to-face encounters.

i, for one, have not told anyone on this site about my experience except my closest real time friend who comes here. The person who did these things to me did tell at least one other person because that person asked me about it. So i don't know. i was willing to talk to the police about it, but i wouldn't pm the admins here. Something about it feels strange.

i will be so glad when i my feelings about this are done. Soon, i suppose. It's been nearly six months.

I dont think there is a single one of us who doesnt have some horror story from online weirdos, I know I do! Way back from the day sof IRC chat, up to the threats from being a former moderator, it has all served to make me VERY cautious in online "friendships" I dont even friend someone on Crackbook, unless I have met them in real life. I didnt go to bashes, because of the threats I received in the past, finally got past that, but I am still not good at putting myself "out there" for all to see!

I seen you too! We were probably the grooviest ones in the room! :koolaid:

I agree, but there is noone else TO take it out on, the mods are the ones doing the warning, banning etc.....and most often they refuse to take responsibility for their own ass-hatted-ness. Quite a few would, but they were the rare ones!
I was told more than a few times, not to show my face anywhere public, that I stood a good chance of having it removed! :blink:

Peach, this is horrible! However, I do know people that actually have been physically assaulted here by other members. Although, it happened before the Planet existed.

Again, this happens everywhere, but, it is hard to take in because The B-F community (and all of its diversity) goes through so much in our everyday lives. Then there is the between the lines nonsense that can on in posts when people have falling outs. Middle and HS mentality just goes on- nothing can stop it. Best to ignore it- and sometimes using the Ignore feature is the way to go. Why even read the garbage.

Oh, Gemme- sometimes you way crack me up!

Anyway, I appreciate all measures taken to assure the safety and integrity of the site. Too bad some have to try to ruin things for others.

You all make me happy I am just this side of anti-social and don't get into these situations or even know they are happening.

I am sorry to hear how many hurtful people there are out there.

Andrea

You are pretty damn fly...:hangloose:

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In the interest of not making another post:

I think that for me I wouldn't have been taken advantage of if I had not been in the emotional space that I was personally in at the time. I wonder if this rings true for others, as well?

There was a How Stuff Works podcast on cults where they said basically the most common factor among cult members is that they encountered the cult during a traumatic time in their lives like a divorce or death in the family. I think there's a similar parallel for other not-so-great situations - though anybody with an open, generous or trusting nature can run into that sort of trouble.

For many people it may just be a case of:

"Being that I flow in grief, the smallest twine may lead me."

-Leanato, Much Ado About Nothing

Chancie IS fly ;)

I do think the last part rings true more often than we'd like to admit. I think that our emotional states can sometimes blind us to the red flags - and even more, there are folks out there who are super skilled at picking up on that wounded energy.

People who are going through breakups, health issues, major family crisis, etc. need to be especially careful about seeking out comfort with people who may see that as an opportunity to fuck them over.

I'm so thankful knowing that the people out there with good intentions far outweigh those folks with ugly hearts. <3

i know this sounds heartless, but sometimes people going through those kinds of crises are the ones who hurt others. i think it explains a lot of behavior that would otherwise be inexcusable. They are sick or in pain or . . . .

It's the only way i understood what happened. i just had to put it down to that. One of the problems with these situations is how much they make you judge your own ability to tell if people are OK or not. i think there usually are red flags. But i don't just want to befriend people who don't need friends, people who look or seem perfect. Who is anyway?

It's also sad that, if you are badly burned, you almost stereotype. i mean the next time you encounter a person with characteristics similar to those of the person who harmed you, it's going to make you pause. It's crazy. i am thinking of things like age, disability status, mental health issues, even interests. i think that sort of thing happens when you are badly burned. And it's sad. It makes you so much less open.