Once again I have not been clear. It is not the person I find icky. It is the wearing of fur. Just the thought makes me itch.

Andrea

... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.

just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

I agree - wearing dead animals repulses me - however... I do not throw red paint at fur wearers (anymore). Once upon a time, I stood in front of bloomingdales with a can of red paint.

Those were the days.

I don't think a furrie is about wearing dead animals, really. I bet there are some vegan furries.

Please do go back and read my post. NO, I was not embarrassed by the fact I have lived and loved female bodied masculine women for 33 years. My point about FORCING them, was keeping them in the home, even when it was an issue for my son. Got it?

I absolutely cuddled and kissed my partner in front of my partner. We slowed danced and she would smack my ass! My kids would shriek with joy.

My point - OUR community is considered as KINK and Deviant by other communities. Do you not see that we are taking another faction of our community and judging. That is my point.

And personally, I could care less if someone wears a tail - I would be respectful and as a parent, if I brought my children into a situation where there was were furries, I would explain to them in a most loving, respectful and nurturing manner. It is how I have always raised my children - to know, we are all different.

But then again - my kids knew about sex - inside and out at a very young age. They used to sit in on safe sex meetings I would give, which included anal and oral sex discussion.

FFS people they ARE NOT wearing dead animals on their bodies, they buy expensive animal costumes of choice and wear them at events and Furrie Fetish is common in both heteronormative and queer culture and NOT necessarily tied to Leather/BDSM.

Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.

Calling CPS is extreme, especially when all of the facts are not present.

Like most others have said, this is a problem. The custodial parent needs to know what's going on with her child when he is not in her home/presence. That is not to say that she needs to agree with the dad's slave and all that it entails for him, but awareness is a necessity.

I agree that an adult's personal identity should not be thrust on a child. They are still trying to assimilate in this world and one's father and his furry slave may create confusion and other emotional and identity issues if not addressed openly and honestly with the boy and, ideally, the custodial parent.

Exactly. Educate the child, but don't dictate to him.

You beat me to the questions I was thinking. We all know what happens when we assume something. Whether the boy is gay, straight, bi or a transgendered furry himself is neither an issue nor a concern for any of us here.

The mother needs to know. She doesn't need to approve, but there needs to be open lines of communication and the boy needs to see both families working together.

I think the tail should be left at home when it comes to the PTA, but the grocery store is different.

Good last question! I wonder if it's the visual of the tail that's so offensive or if it's the rest of it and the complex identity and orientation issues that are sure to come up.

If there is a safety issue for the boy, due to the ignorance we all know is out there, then his safety and well-being should come before anyone's exhibition of their kink. Kids come first.

And that's what I am trying to get across. We don't really know the whole story. Is it not possible the kid is feeling all sorts of shame, because other people are? Is it possible Okie and Red are throwing their shame onto the kid? Perhaps the child was okay with it, until someone said - Whoahhh wait a minute - are you okay with this? LIGHT BULB?

Children are pretty remarkable and understanding. They are more open than most adults. It is when adults start putting their shit onto them, that issues tend to arise.

I still believe, we are hearing a little bit of something and not the whole story. Should the Mother know what is going on? Absolutely - as much as I wanted to know what was going on in the house of my kids father. Actually, I knew everything - but then again -- I made sure I knew. That is my responsibility as a parent. To parent and always know my kids are safe. Where is Mom? And why doesn't she know? Perhaps she is not so proactive! Perhaps the child doesn't trust her enough to discuss.

HELLO?

Why the focus on whether this 12-year-old kid is gay or straight? What does that have to do with anything? This seems to be more a question of children, parents, and kinks.

Personally, I see a HUGE difference between being a kinky parent and being a queer parent. Queer parents can be as private as straight parents about their sexual/intimate lives. (It's really homophobes that over-focus on what queers do in bed, and sexualize queers all the time.)

Parents with kinks may be queer OR straight, (this particular couple sounds straight-identified), so the question really seems to be one of whether or not and how much to expose children to their parents sexual/erotic kinks.

I think of kink as erotic power-exchange, and that is not something I would choose to share with my child. Others may feel differently, but in my opinion this father is forcing his child to be a voyeur, and that violates boundaries of consent.

Nearly every day I read about a child being kept in a cage, starved, beaten, forced to have sex, killed, on and on....

What you have stated is in no way abuse and I do not see abuse of the OP's nephew based on the information provided. Lack of consideration and open communication, yes, but not abuse.

Andrea

In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.

Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?

It sounds to me like Okie is looking for some advice about what to do, before taking action.

And there you have it!