For me being stonefemme embodies so much more than what I will or will not do in bed. Those boundaries are set based on the likes and dislikes of my partner as well as my own.

Personally, I find great power in my femininity and the traditional trappings of a woman. Stonefemme is more about my general behavior, the way I carry and present myself to the world, and the relationship dynamics I seek.

being a stone butch i have usualy dated stone femme.. BC the understanding to me means stone..set in stone..non variable in certian ways of life, love,sex, housekeeping...ect...that are expressed up front. i have found (for me)stone to stone relationship seems to have a more compassion/respect for the non changable.
this is it take me or leave me.. just dont try to change me.

Hey, lilith - I've hi-lighted in your paragraph what I'm addressing in my response. I don't believe I've contradicted myself - when I said it was 'right', I was saying that it was right 'for me', not that it is THE right way for everyone. If it came across that way, I apologize for the confusion. I never intend to speak for anyone but myself. I thought it was understood, that when someone expresses an opionion, it is their 'own' sentiment/belief - that goes across the board for any postings on threads. Anyway, that's the way I read posts - as someone's personal opionion.

I love this. The way you live and describe yourself really makes me think outside the box. I like how your unique traits fit you, and you're really okay with the fact that there is no label. :)

There is indeed a label for you. It's called Stone Femme. If you are a stone sexual top and you are femme, you are a Stone Femme. Yes, this is a maddening double meaning, and it really sucks.

defining myself!
 

I hesitate to do this because I think the backlash is going to be horrendous, but:

Stone Femme is your label for her, not her own. It's dangerous to classify others based on our personal interpretations of what a label means.

I just want to tell you that there are other StoneFemme Top/Domme in this world.....if you mean that you don't allow vaginal penetration and pack. The ones that I know call themselves StoneFemme Top/Domme. They are also pretty cock identified.

If you are just talking being a Femme Domme/Top who packs, is dominant, is (or not) cock id'd, and allows vaginal penetration, oral sex, etc, well you are not alone in that respect either..

Well, I certainly hope there's no backlash for saying something so reasonable. You're right that I should have asked more questions or explained the terms better as Toughy did in the above post.

I'm too quick to talk about this because I'm so dissatisfied with the terms we use.

Love this !
 

I am stone, but not made of stone.
__________________

I am stone! and I do not like to be penetrated ever!!! But I do enjoy the hands of my femme caressing me as long as its done in a non feminine manner. I like to know that she loves me and loves how I am making her feel and her touch
speaks loudly about what she is feeling.

Touch me baby, show your daddy how he makes you feel:superman:

Oh lord, heart be still!

Thank you Sweet_Amor_Taino.

Ok, I have a generalized question: Do you think the dating pool is limited because you ID as a Stone Femme (in whatever capacity that means to you)?

Oh, yes. Without doubt, yes. My dating pool has gotten very small, indeed. What's more, I face every possible romantic encounter with trepidation because I know that I'll have to explain myself to someone who may turn out to think that there's something terribly wrong with me. If I were more traditionally femme, my stonefemme boundaries might not seem quite so surprising to an interested butch.

I've been told that my dating pool would enlarge considerably if I were into trans guys, but I'm not.

I agree wholeheartedly with your dissatisfaction and appreciate your feedback on the matter. I was just having the "self identification" discussion with a friend the other night and we were expressing our displeasure that it needs to be done at all, but then how can we represent ourselves while avoiding being classified by the labels others apply to us?

Thank you for being so honest and facing your fears about talking to your partners. I feel like people who are brave like that should be thanked more often. In my mind, discussing intimacy boundaries is often like coming out, over and over again. My bitter side is also saying that there aren't enough people who address things like comfort, boundaries, and pleasure.

If you think your dating pool is small, you should see mine. It's more of a puddle, than a pool. lol

What if no one is jumping in the pool?
 

My own personal pool is pretty big. The water feels lovely & quite warm.

My criteria pretty much is sexual attraction-do I feel those butterflies? Is my heart pounding? If yes, that is the first step. Butch? Yes! TG? OK-fine with me-yes! Daddy? OK, I am interested-tell me more about the dynamic please! Yes! Stone butch? OK, lived as a stone femme in love for a long time!

I am not talking about all those other values that are so important-I am strictly talking about the initial attraction that tells one: yes, I would love to go out with you!

The pool shrinks a great deal when you are older. Not my choice, it is just a
reality. I am not limiting it by my identity as a femme.

I am dipping my toe in the pool, but I have not jumped and no one has pulled me in the pool (or pushed me in either...).

Regardless of how big or small our dating pool is, don't we at least need to
take that chance? As long as my own personal boundaries are respected, since age is now a factor in my dating pool; I personally need to be open to all
possibilities (which I may not have considered in my 20's).

Cannonball coming! Splash!

I agree, the size of the pool is getting smaller with age. This saddens me!