many of the women who I am coming in contact with this store, are not advocates for their size. They are blown away by my self acceptance and many flat out loathe themselves. If I used the word fat, I would lose them as customers. But ...I also know, like any change, it needs to be done or the word will continue to hurt them. Its one of those topics I want to do during one of my workshops/get togethers...The Power of Words.

Lots of people are using Curvy. Luscious plushious is a fav saying of mine. Hell, most of my customers cant see themselves as sexy. Some dont want to. Others do. (Lots to sift thru with that)

I dont call myself full figured because I always related that to someone with a fuller bustline, which I dont have. Not that I mind! I dont have the backaches like some of my full figured friends and relatives have!

I use the word overweight and dont feel guilty about it. Its what I was raised with as the polite word to use. It feels good to me and well, I am me and I use whats good for me, as long as I dont hurt anyone in the process of it.

recently I posted a sexy photo of a plus sized woman in red fishnets and red heels. One of my customers posted "ewww"....

wow, was i slapped in the face with her reality! She doesnt see herself as sexy at all, nor does she see sexy in any plus woman!

shocking to me..this is giving me quite the education! I am going to hold a plus size photo contest locally and one of the categories will be "Sexy"...I cant wait for the reactions, photos, etc!

I just couldn't resist posting this. If you watch to the end she talks about flashing a whole bunch of folks on the street.....very funny, I love how relaxed and herself she is!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...6pLid%3D138248

Without fail at noon on every Friday, 30 minutes before my beginning ballet class starts, a mixture of fear and dread ooze into my mind. It starts when I think of getting dressed for class. Despite a well-stocked closet, I am never content with my choices. I spend 20 minutes scouring my closet for a garment that doesn't exist - I am looking for something that will make me invincible. Exasperated, I leave wearing the same men's gym shorts and oversized t-shirt. My nerves don't get any better once I get to class. I am scared to look at my body in a mirror; I am scared to compare my body to my peers. I try to stand in the back rows as far away from the mirrors as possible, and I still occasionally catch a glimpse of my double chin. Or my belly escaping the drapery of my shirt. I am scared that even after working at accepting my body and fighting tooth and nail to get those around me to change their actions and opinions, I will see something repulsive. I can't get through a weekly dance class without having to give myself pep talks. It takes all that I can muster to remind myself that I am beautiful and, more importantly, worthy of being in that class. It takes all that I have to remind myself that I love my body and that I can take pleasure in moving it. I can take pleasure and find beauty in my body.

I loathe classifying these problems (yes, I acknowledge that they're problems) as "body image" problems. "Body image" isn't really about the image of bodies. It's about the holistic relationships we have with our bodies. It's about how bodies look, how they move, what they feel like, and how we treat them. Even if we ignore semantics, conversations about body image almost always come down to health. Most conversations I've had about body image blame the media and advertising for exposing young girls to impossible standards in order to sell products. But more than selling products, these images drive people to unhealthy habits - crash diets, disordered eating, and sometimes even more dramatic actions like diet pills and self-harm.

And yet many of these behaviors have been recommended to me by health professionals. You see, I'm fat. Not "does this dress make me look fat?" fat, but eligible-for-weight-loss-surgery morbidly obese deathfat. I've been fat for as long as I can remember, but the first time I remember my size being an issue was at a check-up. I was 8 years old, and after plotting my height and weight in one of those grids, my pediatrician had one of those "talks" with my parents and me. I was too heavy for my height and age, so he presented me with a Xeroxed list of 10 "helpful tips" for eating.

It was meant to be innocuous, but I became obsessed with that sheet of paper. It was the first time I saw my body as a personal failing, and that list was the way to redeem myself. I followed the rules to a tee, and yet I didn't get any smaller. That simple piece of paper was only the beginning. My adolescence was filled with appointments with doctors and nutritionists, medically facilitated crash diets, and crying fits in dressing rooms. My doctors pathologized my body, and I believed them. I believed that my fat body meant that I was overeating, even when I would leave the dinner table hungry. I believed that I was lazy, unkempt, untrustworthy. I couldn't trust myself.

I can't rely on a conventional understanding of health to fix my body image issues because my body image issues stem from those conventional understandings of health. To find peace with my body I've had to reject mainstream medical wisdom. I screen my health care professionals, and I set firm boundaries. I am not interested in weight loss, and I will not step on a scale. I don't care about a new diet regimen; I care about eating. I've learned to love my body - I love the look of my body; I love the way my squishy, soft flesh feels. I have embraced my fat. I do this because I care about my body. I care less about the image of my body, and I care more about my relationship to my body.

When I stand at the barre to begin my weekly ballet class, I am reminded that loving my body is both difficult and important. As we go through the usual warm-up routine I feel my muscles stretch and flex. I am present in my body, and I appreciate the grace and flow of movements. As we transition into leaps and jumps, I am reminded of that power in my body. My hearty legs can push my body in the air again and again in rapid succession. I land easily each time.

I am still scared that even after working to accept my body I will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and find something ugly. So far, I've only seen my body. My fat, beautiful body.


When Jenn Leyva was 16, her dad told her that he'd buy her a car if she lost weight. She cried, finished her calculus homework, and is now a New York based fat activist and a senior at Columbia studying biochemistry. She authors Fat and the Ivy, a fat blog about social justice, feminism, science, health, and fa(t)shion.

Just love Dawn French!.......and Cher!

I was with my thin gay male sign language tutor today* and we were doing an exercise with verbs. So we got to "don't want," and he signed, "I don't want to be fat." We did the exercise about a month ago and he said the same thing last time, after struggling to think of anything else! What a shame that it is people's worst fear, and that even when speaking with a fat woman, he couldn't come up with one other thing that he doesn't want in life!


*I work at a school for deaf children.

Sadly, a lot of people don't know why saying this stuff is problematic and just how much we hear it!

Shit people say to fat people:

Part 1
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYTT9zS-Aao&feature=relmfu"]Shit You Say to Fat People (Part 1) - YouTube[/nomedia]

Part 2
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1pdONBi8WU&feature=channel_video_title"]Shit You Say to Fat People (Part 2) - YouTube[/nomedia]


What lines hit home most for you and what lines would you add?

Today on the train there was a man talking to himself and holding something that looked like a crowbar, which, is not too unusual on the nyc subways. When I got up to get off the train, he yelled at me, "Die, you fat girl!" Of course, everyone looked at me, and I saw a little boy say to his mom, "That's kinda mean, right?" (a cute, sweet response). When I got off, I thought about how most of what the man had been saying had been gibberish and yet he still knew to zero in on my fat! It made me feel self-conscious, and I even wondered whether my puffy coat was just adding too much puff to me (but its so warm!). These little things that go on in a fat girl's daily life add up to make me feel fierce about needing some fat positivity. Anyone feeling me out there?

Always remember, no matter what
 

For each of us
 

I LOVE Adele! I think she is gorgeous and stunning. She has such a wonderful attitude about herself. She is incredibly beautiful inside and out. :cheer:

This butch would fling hymself on stage just to get to her...or better yet swim to England to get close to her lol

What is it exactly, this thing ugly?
I see you hide your eyes
For a moment I believe while I nurse my wounds
Soon the illusion will fade and the truth is evident
Ugliness resides in the heart,
From this you cannot hide.