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my cat resting her head on my hand. *purr*
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understanding, most certainly.
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chocolate :cracked: |
The touch of Dino's paw, or a lick from him. Or it can be love from one of the cats laying on my lap or stomach while I am on the soffa watching sports or sleeping. :rollcat: :ballcat: :cat: :doghead: :awww: |
This one is very hard for me to think about. I try not to think about love or being loved ... it might cause me to let my walls down or to give someone a key to a very deep part of my inner-self. I'm not a "needy" person. But there are a few things I would like to experience in this life...before going to the next one and having to search all over again. I need to feel protected... to eventually share my worst fears with someone, and have them NOT use it against me. To feel protected when I have had a nasty day being a Tough-Ass-Boss at work, but the "little girl" in me needs comfort and a tender touch. I am far from weak... but have weak moments... if I can ever find someone to trust with that key to the very deep part of my inner-self, I need to feel protected and respected during my weak moments. I didn't feel protected as a child or young adult... I would NEVER take for granted the special person that could do this for me. And I would NEVER take for granted the special gift of protection they would bestow on me. I think if I could find the kind of special person who's willing to protect me in a way that I have always dreamed of... I may possibly be able to think about love and being loved without fear of being hurt. I think I would and could love them with all my heart and soul if they could do this for me. (that's all I wish to share at this time... maybe more later) |
I need tenderness, it is the key to my heart...... :rose: Pashi |
Understanding of my condition and patience when It is flaired up.
Honesty and full trust in me. "That I will do and act as I say" And that I will honor my relationships in whatever scene or circumstance. The freedom to be me without being degraded or accused of false actions. Even if I am silly at times. Acceptance that family and committment to those I care for are the most valuable thing in my life. And that I take an active role in every one. |
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Two part answer from me:
What do I need to feel loved (inside myself): Safety, calm, quiet, introspective time. Days when I can put the dysfunctional chatter of my upbringing on the shelf and know that I am a superb human being, meaning that I do the absolute best I can and take steps to correct my mistakes when I fall short of my goals for myself. That stuff happened in the past..by folks who really needed help and had no capacity for parenting. What do I need to feel loved (by another human being): See above...I absolutely am unable to be in true partnership with another individual unless I'm cool with me. And once that's in place, interaction with another human being who is also committed to knowin that it takes two to tango and that half of the problem is on each side. And, that defending a heels dug in position doesn't advance the ball. |
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I think a terminal illness is perhaps the biggest test of love.
Plato is stil here, and loves me. Even when I can't get out of bed and have puke in my hair. Knowing that hy can love me thru even the worst days has given me a sense of security I've never had before. |
Lady Pamela, I just cried when I read your post. It was so beautiful. :gimmehug::cheer::goodscore::goodpost: Love, Andrew |
SuperFemme, You are right. A terminal illness is a test. I know from watching my sister and her husband. How he would gently hold her when she cried, or when they were told that there was no chance of survival. The tears. :praying: Or when one of our siblings would hold her head while she was having the after effects of chemo, experimental drugs, or stem cells and wiping off her face with a cool wet wash cloth. The love is just so obvious. It is tender, sweet, loving, and so bonding. Until you experience this love, you really never know what love is about or how deep it can be reached in your heart and soul. It isn't about bravery or courage. It is about love. That is what life is really about. Some haven't figured that out yet, and may never. Thank God it isn't our issue. Namaste my sweet, dear sister, Andrew |
What I Need To Feel Loved.....
Well, instead of posting what I need, I figured I would just let everyone know the kind of person I am.
We all know that while relationships can be incredibly fulfilling, they aren't always easy. They're hard work and require oodles of love, patience and, well, sometimes the ability to know when to keep your mouth shut! Those in relationships need to let their partner know some things about themselves. Here are a few things about me..... I would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. I enjoy romance. Pretty much of a hopeless romantic! But sometimes I doubt my skills to be romantic. I care about my woman's appearance. Everyone knows that I am very visual but women often forget just how helpless I am to what I see. The right visual stimulation can hypnotize me. And I am sure it has the same effect on others. I want my partner to know how much I care. A woman who smiles, makes it easier for me to approach her by conveying an attitude of confidence and playfulness. I rarely get listened to, at least not beyond a few minutes. Most of the time that is all I really need, but since I hate to be rejected, it is easier for me to keep conversations superficial. I am stubborn.....that's not much of a secret! I would like to have my partner be able to take my shit as well as give it right back to me! I sometimes need a reality check of how I am acting! Ok......these are just a few things about me! |
trust
communication touch laughter passion sensitivity going deep... love. :stillheart: |
good question...
Love is a mutual agreement between two hearts and souls...
I need a woman to BE HERSELF... To actually Trust that I genuinely love her for who she is... That even though I am cheezy/smooth, it is not an ACT, it is just me... One who can take all my honesty, good and bad, and return the favor... One who gets my humor, sometimes smartass/sarcstic... & one who can comfort me...even when she is wrapped up in my arms... |
Don't define me by what I'm not. Define me by what I am.
Don't look to complete me. Complement me. Know my devotion is unwavering. And allow me to expect the same from you. Treat me as you would want to be treated. Accept me with all my faults, and know I will do the same for you. I'm simply a human being. I'm frequently wrong. Don't remind me of every time I'm wrong. Support me as I support you. You can make suggestions concerning my conditions, and we can make a decision together, but don't ever make a decision about "me" without me. Luckily...MBE does all this. |
I need to be heard. You don't have to understand my motivations/reasons/etc, but HEAR me tell you what I need from you.
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Trust
Trust.
If you Trust me with your heart, then I feel Loved and once that happens...oooooh baby girl, 'Katie bar the door', I'm at your command(f) |
In order to feel loved...
I need to be able to trust before I can feel loved and in order for that trust to take form, I need to see that what you say and what you do match up as one and the same. I am a deep and constant thinker and need for you to reach those depths with me. I can't live well in shallow land. I need emotional intimacy as much as I need sexual intimacy, if not more. I need to know we are on the same team and that you have my back. I need honesty and truth I need for you to be doing your work as far as your health goes; emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health. And I need for you to gently kick my ass if I am not doing mine. I need shared laughter and a time to be like kids when appropriate to do so. Humor is important to me. |
I have found that I feel loved when I am listened to.
I feel loved when I am missed and held. When hy worries about me and for me. When hy tells me that everything will be ok. Being loved is so strange for me sadly - but I like it. A LOT. lol. It works for me. |
- A Gentle Touch
- A Certain Look - Hugs (of course) - To be heard - Understanding - Trust - Honesty - Laughter/Silliness - Compassion - Nurturing - Date Nights - Romance |
....attention.... |
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The things that help me to feel loved have evolved over time. At one point, it was the physical love and the physical actions that made me feel loved. While I enjoy that still, at this point, it's the "small" things that many people don't even think about that do it for me. I need consideration as a human being and as an equal partner. I need pleases and thank yous and manners in general. I need the daily sensitivities that tell me that my partner is thinking of me and what I may want or need. I need to know that my partner thinks of me like I think of them, and often. I need to be a priority in their life, though I may not always be the highest priority at that moment, I need to be up there. I need for my partner to see the big picture not exactly as I do, but to SEE it...to have their own plan for their life and path and for OUR union and path. I need for my partner to have similar goals and beliefs concerning the big stuff (knowing my big stuff might not equal someone else's big stuff, of course). I need them to walk that path, during the process of obtaining those common goals, with me...side by side, and knowing their needs are neither greater nor lesser than mine. I need laughter and shared jokes. The more offensive the better, because I need my partner to be as much of a deviant as I. I need tender moments in quiet times and the knowledge that that moment means just as much to me as it does to my partner. I need patience in spades and forgiveness when it doesn't come easily from myself. I need my partner to love me more than I love myself, because as hard as I am on them, I am much harder on myself. I've used the term partner several times now and that is what a relationship is to me: a partnership. A team. Both members must look out for one another and be kind to one another and forgive one another when those moments come (and they will) and keep working towards the team's goals in the big picture. They need to act as one entity, moving and flowing in unison. Mind you, this doesn't mean spending every waking moment with one another or tying two of your legs together or anything like that. Heaven knows, Organic would have been strung out on the balcony a long time ago if that were the case. The relationship takes on a life of its own and that is what needs to be fluid and evolve. |
Gosh these posts in here are just fabulous and it shows that many, many of us have had that opportunity to really REALLY feel love. What a wonderful thing.
I agree with everyone that so many things truely can help you achieve that level of connection to allow someone into that special place that we protect at all costs until we trust someone and welcome them into that wonderful part of who we are. There is one thing though, imo, above all the other wonderful dynamics of being treated good, cuddled, reassured, trusted and trusting, honesty, devotion, tenderness all of those precious parts in a real loving relationship... And that is, imo, that look. It is a look from their eyes that radiates back into mine that is just beyond anything that can really be explained. It is that place where songs are written before they are sung, where poetry is thought of before it is written, where dancing is felt before any movement and a place where the words "I love you" are touched before they are spoken. That to me is what *i* need, want and desire. That is love and if that place is felt..the rest will fall into place. |
I look deep into my eyes and say I lovel you in the mirror or I drink a smooth whiskey and smoke a good cigar
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Fun and interesting thread and with so many commonalities I wonder if were all consciously giving it back..
but anywho... What I need to feel loved: I need to know you got my back.. day and night, when i am right and when I am wrong. Not to stand up for me but with me or support me when I am wrong and say so.. gently... I need someone to share the load. Not just expect life will miraculously poof in front of them.. this includes clean clothes, the dinner, a movie night out, or a vacation abroad.. Hold my hand Sleep with me at night Hug me before running off in the morning leave the world outside our front door, often. Surprise me.. little tiny cute girly things.. Honesty, say yeah or nah and know its ok.. and make sure its ok when I say it back. Mean what you say or dont say it at all. If you're not getting what you need, say so. equality Make us as important than you or me Im sure there is more or even less but the older I get the more I see how important working together to make the relationship makes me feel loved, to know I am important, cherished, needed, wanted, desired, when were both in it for each others well being. Star |
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I look to myself for love because if i dont love myself then I cant have anyone else love me, I need honesty and trust.
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To feel loved I need ...
I need to be treated with kindness, respect, open-ness and honesty on a continuum. And if she laughs at my corny jokes a lot of the time, then that is great too.
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what makes me feel loved
waking up gentlly as she crawls on top to lay her head on my shoulder and fall back asleep.
Soft unexpected kisses for no reason. Surprise visits out of the blue. The feeling of her touch when she reaches for me in the middle of the night. Bringing me a cold drink on a hot day , just cos she figured I needed it. Being a partner in home projects. Being honest and trustworthy, so I would never doubt or have to look over my shoulder. Be as invested in US as I am. Make sacrifices , IE. sit through a boring football game happily. Know how to get through to me when I'm being hard headed, if I'm in love with you , you have the power to win any disagreement we could ever have, if you know how to get through to me. Little notes left in unexpected places, telling me why she loves me. Grabbing my hand and pulling me away from a project , and walking me directly into the bedroom , I see candles burning and ........ Communication about everything. Taking care of me when I'm hurt or sick. Knowing what loyality, and devotion, and love mean. Being able to sense when I'm not ok, even if I say I am. Buying small inexpensive gifts like my fav gum, placing it in my breifcase to find when I get to work. Get up early on a work day and secretly make me breakfast while I'm in the shower. Put a sweet love note in my lunch box. Send me hand written love letters or cards in the snail mail, Make me something with your own 2 hands, even if it's a poem that you put in a frame for me. Playing little jokes on me so we both laugh out loud. |
I need a Bad Boy. I need Mischevious, Raw, and Nasty guys. To feel loved, I need to not hear things like "Baby. Princess. Darling. I need to hear things like "Girl. Mine. HellCat" |
A Look
Nurture Me Laugh With Me Consistency in Words and Actions Affection Lots And Lots Of It Trust Honesty Sensitivity Romance Making Me A Priority Be Spontaneous. Surprise Me At My Place At My Job... Fall Asleep In My Arms Love me for me. Dont try and change me. Im stubborn as hell. But if you have my heart I'll hang the moon for you... ;) |
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laugh
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to wake everyday knowing she is here.
yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come. so for today, I am here. |
it doesnt take a lot
Toast.
Make me some fucking toast and call it a meal, then tell me you love me. |
I am finding that I need a sense of team work with my partner, on many levels, including the things that Im working one outside of our relationship.
If I am deeply involved and passionate about a project, if my partner does not show ANY interest or any willingness to listen and at least be somewhat involved in, I feel less valued. |
I don't know anymore. But that doesn't mean I give up.
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