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another not so shiny Codger driving moment during said trip... nearing 11:45 PM on nearly desolate I 77 when we meet oncoming traffic.. Her: Honey, you have your brights on Me: Really? I knew I was seeing awfully good! :sunglass: :byebye: |
I cleaned Miss Pink's bathroom today and we are talking about it...
Me: I'm pretty clean even though sometimes I may have a Stinky Boi butt! Miss Pink: I've never smelled your butt.... I decided I had best leave the room THEN and THERE! |
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Love it. Words |
I can be funny - even at work:
One of my employees saw me heading to my office with a broom. Her: "Whatcha gonna do with that?" Me: "Take it for a ride... what do you THINK I am gonna do with it?!?!?!?" |
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Was it that rocket-powered SuperTurbo charged model I sent ya??? :nyahnyah: |
Me, last night, whilst Hy was bending in front of me (again) to stoke the fire.
''I'm really going to miss that in the summer.'' Hym. ''I know, it's great that we have a real fire.'' Me. ''I meant the view of Your butt, not the fire.'' I actually will miss it. It's not often I get that kind of close up. *Smile* Words |
playing a card game with the family my sister: "you have to have good cards to win the game me as I'm looking over at her: no shit?? |
walking thru the house during day noticing pine needles from tree all over place..poor tree beaten down...finally heading to bed....laying there watching tv as the kittens from hell are romping all over the place
Me: who's idea was it to get those damn kittens? Jo: yours dear Me: well next time tell me no dammit! |
I'm curled up on the couch, mindin' my own business and my roomie came to the hallway door and proceeded to look at me funny...
Me: What's wrong? Blade: I'm waiting. Me: What'ya waiting for? Blade: We still have some snow left. Me: Yeah.... AND? Blade: We still have some snow left and I'm waiting. Me: Yeah..... most of it has turned all muddy. WHAT are you waiting on. Blade: To see naked snow angels! Me: Well? Why don't you get naked and go make some snow angels? Blade: *huff* (that didn't exactly work out for him the way he planned *evil grin*) |
Clarification: "Murder is NOT playing nice!"
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Me and Miss Pink discussing being from small towns way out in the country of Tennessee and Kentucky respectively...
Me: "Well my Mama is from Franklin County and my Daddy was from Lincoln County so I know they weren't kin." Miss Pink: "Well my Mom and Dad were from the same county but they weren't kin to each other and I'm not kin to any of my cousins either!" Me: "HUH??" |
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Oh hell... that literally made me laugh really loud! HA! |
Having just picked up the mail...
Scoote: Honey, you got something from Home Depot...
Jo: Oh, it's the credit card...so we could get the zero interest on the patio furniture... Scoote: We have a Home Depot credit card??? Jo: Yep Scoote: Damn...I wish I was more butch... :blink: |
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LOL! Were that convo to take place here.. it would be me saying " Damn, we have a patio?".. to which she would respond " yes, the one you are going to use this credit card to build".. argh.. the joys of homebuilding! |
while grocery shopping for fresh veggies....
Blade: What's sha...sha...shit Take mushrooms?
Me: :| huh? Blade: What's shit Take mushrooms? Me: :superfunny: You mean Shiitake! You goof! |
Me and Miss Pink sitting in the living room replying to each other in the "Song Title Quiz" thread....
Me: I'm stalking you,I gots one for ya! Miss Pink: Whatcha got, cos you AIN"T TALKIN' ABOUT LOVE Me: I got a GOOD ONE for ya! Miss Pink: Whatcha got big boi?? Me: Yanno we could save ourselves a LOT of typing and just duel this out right here! :byebye: It doesn't take a lot to amuse us at 9:30 on a Sunday morning! |
While watching Blade prepare to marinade homemade beef jerky
Me: (speaking to Skippy Dippy the chihuahua begging for treats at his Daddy's feet....) Your Daddy's being fastidious about that.
Blade: What? :blink: huh? Me: You're being fastidious about how you arrange that beef in the bowl. Blade: What's that mean? Me: You tell me. You posted it as your Word Of The Day a few days ago. :cheesy: |
While in the car, a song came on the radio. I began to sing a little bit and Ebon just shook his head. As we pulled into our parking spot, he says, "Now, why would someone want to do that and sing like Eminem?"
I said, "Because it IS Eminem". :blink: |
Heard on a work conference call...
I'm on the phone with my teammates and, in a lighter moment, we're talking about New Year's resolutions...
Jo: I've resolved that I'm going to measure out a good 4 mile walk for myself and get back to it...the dog and I both need it and I haven't been getting my daily walk since I moved to Florida. co-worker: But aren't there alligators where you are now? Jo: Well, there probably are some in the canals, but I haven't seen one yet. co-worker: How big is your dog? Could he outrun an alligator? Or could you pick him up and run if you saw one? Jo: He's a mini-dachshund...if we see an alligator I'll be grabbing him and taking up running like *** (another co-worker and his resolution) Team laughs (probably at the image of me running :giggle: ) co-worker: OMG Jo...do you realize you're going to be walking 4 miles a day with bait?!?!?!? |
Me: I'm at lunch! I have soda! Weeee!
Ebon: We we weeeeeeeeee! Enjoy your soda. I'm about to start work. Yaaay!!! Do you have some actual food too? Me: Pbj. Banana. Reeses cup. Ebon: Lunch of champions. Me: Rice cake too! I get to go on a field trip! Ebon: Where to? Sounds like fun! Me: The BANK!!! Guess where it is. Ebon: Mayner? (The town is spelled Manor, but they pronounce it like May--ner, so we make fun of it all the time. It's like a dirty, gritty Aunt Bea-less Mayberry.) Me: Flippin' right, it is! And I'll have to go there EVERY night I close the store from this Saturday on. Lucky! Did I mention I had soda? :blink: |
Me: Hey, honey! They found a 112 year old ship in Michigan.
Ebon: Oh, hey! Was it Noah's Arc? Me: No, smartass. It's the L.R. Doty. Ebon: Uh huh. Me: *reads from the article* It's been perfectly preserved by the cold water. And was the largest wooden vessel to not be accounted for. Ebon: Yeah. Didn't they think to look in the water before now? Me: *swats at him* Me: Did you know that there's a Wisconsin Underwater Archaeology Association? Ebon: Wow! Me: No, actually, it's WUAA. *over-pronounces it* :blink: Ebon: :rofl: |
My mantras for 2011 -
"I can't fix stupid." "My money is on crazy." |
conversation about me having made coffee yesterday
me..I aint a good coffee maker sweet..it's easy just read the bag me...I did it said 1 tablespoon sweet...teaspoon me...no says tablespoon...how bout you go make us some good coffee sweet...grumbling something as she went to trump me on the tablespoon vs teaspoon Moments later sweet...CALEB sweet...CALEB YOU USED THE WHOLE BAG OF COFFEE FOR ONE POT? me...cracking up no I didn't sweet...well the bag is empty.... me...:rolleyes: |
Damon as He's going in the kitchen to make cookies-
Him- want me to make you some cookies? me- will you make both kinds? Him- was gonna Him fumbling around in cabinet Him- I can't make these cookies dammit! me-oh good gravy- why not? Him- cuz we ain't got no eggs me- it needs eggs?? I thought it came with all that? Him- uh, nooooo- it doesn't me- who knew? Him- well I guess I'll brave the ice and go to the store tomorrow and buy cookies! :eyebrow: |
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Grin.. My mom and dad actually are cousins... hehe BUT they didn't become cousins until mom was three and dad was one, so I don't think it counts... |
After having introduced a friend to The Big Bang Theory…….. Deb: OMG, Sheldon reminds me so much of you! Kobi: huh? Deb: Sheldon is you! Kobi: Sorry, I still don’t get it. Deb: People, except for the inner core, seldom know what Sheldon is saying. How often do people say to you…you are speaking in tongues again? You both have an uncanny ability to be devoid of expression regardless of the situation. Sheldon sees the world in formulas and probabilities. You see it in behavior patterns and human nature. You both can dish out the funniest sarcasm but when done to you, you haven’t a clue. Kobi: *trying to decide if I am supposed to feel insulted or uplifted* Deb: Sheldon dresses better tho. Kobi: * me picturing Sheldon* http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/...i2/sheldon.jpg Ok I’m quite sure that was meant to be a dig. Deb: *giving hug* But I love your uniqueness. Kobi: * Sighs. Has no freakin clue what just happened.* |
Fur real....
Two men answered my ad on freecycle about the (semi-creepy) shed I want to vanish from the back yard (and yes, Scoote agreed :) )
Unfortunately, it was already getting dark when they showed up...and Scoote was at work. So there I am, in the back yard, in the semi-dark, with two strange men. I do not particularly care for this. Shadow (our mini-dachshund), trots out....barks twice. Man #1: Hi puppy Shadow barks once more, then runs for the doggy door, looking over his shoulder as he goes. Great watch dog. :sunglass: Conversation and shed inspection continues. Banshee (our boy kitty who is the size of a small pony) approaches. Me: Hi Banshee boo boo Banshee: Meow...and starts to purr Man #2 (stepping out of the shed): Hi kitty Banshee hisses, snarls, puffs his tail up and starts to walk stiff-legged towards both men. Man #1: Dammmmnnnnnn.....you don't need a dog with a cat like that. |
Miss Pink likes to sleep with a fan on for the noise, but I don't like it blowing on me while we sleep....so we compromise...
Miss Pink: "I have the fan on but it's not blowing on the bed" Me: "Oh that's great, that'll work" Miss Pink: "What we really need in here is a noise machine" Me: (grinning into her hair as we snuggle) "We have one,it's name is Pinky" :pointing: Miss Pink: "Fucker" :4femme: |
In a discussion about issues with my job..
Ebon: Have you started looking for another job?
Me: No. It took me so long to find this one and I don't like job humping. Both: :| Me: Uh, I mean job hopping. I'm going to bed now. Ebon: Might be a good idea. |
Me to Sweet..
Me..want me to fix you something to eat? Sweet...no, I'll get something in a bit Me..ok, I don't mind hour later I walk in the kitchen Sweet is cooking her breakfast Me...I'da done that for you Sweet....it's ok, I wanted french toast I look in the pan and see an egg frying Me....french toast? ummm ok...:| |
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Damn!! This proves to everyone why you are always asking me where your glasses are!! There WAS french toast on the plate and I was just finishing up the egg as you stepped in the kitchen.... 'cuz you interrupted me, my egg ended up being "lacy". (if anybody wants to know what LACY eggs are...ask Blade :cheesy:) As I remember the convo.... You asked "why didn't you let me make that for ya?" Me: Because I had a French Toast Kick You: :blink: :D now THAT's a post!! (and you ran off to the computer) What I didn't say was.... I didn't ask you to make French Toast because of you trying to stick to your diet. :raspberry: :raspberry: that's what I get for being nice to ya? |
Papa and I discussing an upcoming conference I'm attending:
Papa: "So, what will you do there?" Me: "Industry stuff, same old shit every year." Papa: "I guess I'll just be hugging my pillows while you are gone." Me: "I guess I'll be hugging mine too, but, there will be ROOM SERVICE!" Papa: "Bitch, you got room service here! I bring you chocolate and Ginger Ale anytime you want." LMAO! Point taken. |
In the car, driving to the gym:
Me: I don't understand why you take a shower before going to the gym. Rene: Crust on crust leads to barnacles. Me: :| Andrea |
my shower tonight reminded me of this old convo....
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :blink: :blink: huh? Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours? Me: :| :blink: What on earth is a Muffy Puffer? That sounds like a new kind of sex toy? Blade: (looking at me cross) You know? The blue Muffy Puffers in the bath room? Me: :| OHHHHHH!!! :giggle: :giggle: :rofl: do you mean the blue scrubbies? Blade: Yeah, MUFFY PUFFERS! Which one is yours? Me: :rofl: None!! I don't used MUFFY PUFFERS!! (there are so many Muffy Puffers in the bathroom and linen closet, I think Blade bought stock in Muffy Puffers!!) |
Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.
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When you first asked me, I thought you had an Ex girlfriend named Muffy? Or a girlfriend who left all her Muffy Puffers all over the bathroom? I think they multiply like Tribbles from Star Trek!! :|:blink: |
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convo from Saturday morning
Jo and I were driving to Hope Depot then to Bob Evans for breakfast before going to beach
cant remember what we were talking about,but suddenly i :passinggas: Me: uh my butt has something to say about that Jo: oh please honey--ur butt ALWAYS has something to say Me: :cracked: |
On Our Trip to St Augustine
after driving up after i got off work..we had some dinner then showered and hit the hay
Jo and I were laying in bed cuddling when she said JO: omg honey im gonna be 49 in just a couple of months ME: no problem honey i'll put a downpayment on a ScootAround for you :lol2: |
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