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-   -   "Becoming Chaz" (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3113)

Mister Bent 05-15-2011 03:59 PM

The only mention of paying for his top surgery that I recall was when he introduced his friends and said they paid for his surgery. Did he actually talk about needing the money, being unable to afford it otherwise, or borrowing it from them? Maybe I just missed that part.

This is one person's story, not a research guide. We can be as judgy as we want to be about how his surgery and other aspects of his life are financed, but I don't believe we have a right to know, nor is it something he should have to disclose.


Thinker 05-15-2011 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Bent (Post 339717)
The only mention of paying for his top surgery that I recall was when he introduced his friends and said they paid for his surgery. Did he actually talk about needing the money, being unable to afford it otherwise, or borrowing it from them? Maybe I just missed that part.

This is one person's story, not a research guide. We can be as judgy as we want to be about how his surgery and other aspects of his life are financed, but I don't believe we have a right to know, nor is it something he should have to disclose.


If I remember correctly, it was written under the names of the friends that he borrowed the money from them.

Mister Bent 05-15-2011 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinker (Post 339729)
If I remember correctly, it was written under the names of the friends that he borrowed the money from them.

I remember thinking at the time, that's a hell of a gift!


citybutch 05-15-2011 04:47 PM

Just as an FYI... (and this is something I can attest to)... one may have very nice things (home, car, etc)... even these days, one may be asset rich but cash poor... It ALL depends on how one's estate is set up. Chaz may have access to some cash flow through a trust... and assets may be given... but no real intense cash flow to go above and beyond. I am not saying this is Chaz's situation... I am just saying it could be a reality...

With something like a Family Charitable Foundation, one may have amazing cash flow... but that cash flow has to be spent in the name of the charitable guidelines of the foundation (which is strict rules established by the IRS)... so even with nice cash flow one may be limited on how that cash flow is utilized.

That being said... My points were just that with whatever resources Chaz may have, I would have loved to have seen a little bit of something on his privilege (WHATEVER that may be)... I think a lot of the questions may be coming from those types of confusion... and not out of any disrespect to Chaz.

Thinker 05-15-2011 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by citybutch (Post 339744)
and not out of any disrespect to Chaz.

Indeed.

I don't think anyone in here has intended *any* disrespect to Chaz. At all.

I just chalk it up to curiousity.

Corkey 05-15-2011 04:59 PM

LOL I guess I'm just not that nosey LOL

Soon 05-15-2011 05:02 PM

just started watching
 
Finally it is on over here!

Thinker 05-15-2011 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 339753)
LOL I guess I'm just not that nosey LOL

Hmmmm.... I see being curious and being nosey as two different things. I don't consider myself a nosey person AT ALL, but I do admit to seeing/hearing things that beg questions for me......make me curious.

I never mean harm by it, and there's not usually judgment involved. I just assume that's the case with most people until they give me a reason to believe otherwise.

Leigh 05-15-2011 05:04 PM

The documentary is just starting here in My area of Canada, so I think I'll have more of an opinion on this kinda stuff once I'm done watching it :-)

~Bo 05-15-2011 05:06 PM

I thought it said that the friends "loaned" him the money.

Mister Bent 05-15-2011 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 339754)
Finally it is on over here!


Please, do us all a favor and tape or otherwise transcribe what is said about the financing of his top surgery and his friends.

Thanks, Jo!


Soon 05-15-2011 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Bent (Post 339762)

Please, do us all a favor and tape or otherwise transcribe what is said about the financing of his top surgery and his friends.

Thanks, Jo!


I'm listening for it!

Soon 05-15-2011 05:24 PM

I'm trying to keep an open mind about Jen, but she is bugging me a bit. :|

(i.e. squealing while he is in hospital gown, "I've never seen you in a dress...you're in a mumu!" He had to tell her to be quiet.

DomnNC 05-15-2011 05:24 PM

His friends that he was sitting down to lunch with loaned him the money. It wasn't a gift but a loan. Apparently, he intends to pay them back.

amiyesiam 05-15-2011 05:28 PM

I binged "chaz bono income"
first article

Chaz's friends lent him the money
he has money coming in but didn't have the checks yet
it was to be a short term loan

Leigh 05-15-2011 05:32 PM

Wow, 6 1/2 lbs gone after the chest surgery ~ I'm figuring once Mine are gone I'll have also lost that amount (but its nice to see him happy afterwards even if he was doped up on pain meds) :)

Thinker 05-15-2011 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 339763)
I'm listening for it!

Cool. Check the caption where it shows the names of the two friends. I believe it was written underneath their names.

Thinker 05-15-2011 05:43 PM

I found this from an article online. While it does mention the two women who loaned him the money for the surgery, it also brings up a part of the documentary that really stood out to me.....the "awkward silence" when Chaz made mention of a sex drive that women are somehow unable to experience/feel.

Midway through "Becoming Chaz," the raw and revelatory documentary about Chaz (nee Chastity) Bono's physical transition from female to male, Chaz visits his Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor and her partner to show them the results of his recent chest surgery. The women, who loaned Chaz the money to have his breasts removed, have prepared a lovely brunch and while Chaz chows down, he eagerly describes the side effects of his transition, which includes regular doses of testosterone. Not only does he find himself increasingly unable to abide women's "gabbing," he tells them, his sex drive has increased enormously.

"It's a shame women can't feel it," Chaz says, "and know how biological it is."

"Huh," says his sponsor. And while Bono, oblivious, continues to eat, the two women sit, frozen in a brief but excruciating pause. It all comes down to chemistry, after all.




Read more: http://www.kansascity.com/2011/05/09...#ixzz1MT2iXKE3


ETA: I found myself grimacing during this segment.

~Bo 05-15-2011 05:43 PM

OWN keeps rerunning it. It's been on at lease 4 times since the premier last Tuesday.

Soon 05-15-2011 05:43 PM

"Jane and her partner loaned Chaz the money for the surgery."

Leigh 05-15-2011 05:46 PM

I just saw the part where he visits his sponsor Jane and her partner who loaned him the money for the surgery, and it was really sweet that Jane was so emotional cuz she was so happy for him :-)

Rockinonahigh 05-15-2011 05:47 PM

Its been a long time since I knew ,but how much is top surgery?I mean no disrespect to anyone by asking because I was told there was a doc hear that would do a sevire reduction I doubt its the same thing but the price is way less so ive herd.Tomorrow im caling his office to see about the price cause im curious.

citybutch 05-15-2011 05:55 PM

That was a painful and surprisingly sexist comment. And it was painful for me to hear as well.... and untrue...

I think, however, it may reflect Chaz's experience's of his own body when he was female bodied before transition. Perhaps... and this is purely conjecture... but perhaps Chaz had a very low libido or experiences very low libido due to his lack of connection to his female body. I believe the comment was a deep reflection of Chaz and nothing more...



Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinker (Post 339794)
I found this from an article online. While it does mention the two women who loaned him the money for the surgery, it also brings up a part of the documentary that really stood out to me.....the "awkward silence" when Chaz made mention of a sex drive that women are somehow unable to experience/feel.

Midway through "Becoming Chaz," the raw and revelatory documentary about Chaz (nee Chastity) Bono's physical transition from female to male, Chaz visits his Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor and her partner to show them the results of his recent chest surgery. The women, who loaned Chaz the money to have his breasts removed, have prepared a lovely brunch and while Chaz chows down, he eagerly describes the side effects of his transition, which includes regular doses of testosterone. Not only does he find himself increasingly unable to abide women's "gabbing," he tells them, his sex drive has increased enormously.

"It's a shame women can't feel it," Chaz says, "and know how biological it is."

"Huh," says his sponsor. And while Bono, oblivious, continues to eat, the two women sit, frozen in a brief but excruciating pause. It all comes down to chemistry, after all.




Read more: http://www.kansascity.com/2011/05/09...#ixzz1MT2iXKE3


ETA: I found myself grimacing during this segment.


atomiczombie 05-15-2011 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh (Post 339801)
Its been a long time since I knew ,but how much is top surgery?I mean no disrespect to anyone by asking because I was told there was a doc hear that would do a sevire reduction I doubt its the same thing but the price is way less so ive herd.Tomorrow im caling his office to see about the price cause im curious.

I used the same Dr as Chaz, and mine was a little over 8 grand.

Thinker 05-15-2011 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh (Post 339801)
Its been a long time since I knew ,but how much is top surgery?I mean no disrespect to anyone by asking because I was told there was a doc hear that would do a sevire reduction I doubt its the same thing but the price is way less so ive herd.Tomorrow im caling his office to see about the price cause im curious.

I've seen a range of (US money) $5,000-$9,000.

Soon 05-15-2011 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by citybutch (Post 339809)
That was a painful and surprisingly sexist comment. And it was painful for me to hear as well.... and untrue...

I think, however, it may reflect Chaz's experience's of his own body when he was female bodied before transition. Perhaps... and this is purely conjecture... but perhaps Chaz had a very low libido or experiences very low libido due to his lack of connection to his female body. I believe the comment was a deep reflection of Chaz and nothing more...

What do you mean untrue?

The sex drives of guys on T does go up exponentially; it is known effect of testosterone. (for anyone)

citybutch 05-15-2011 05:59 PM

There are plenty of women with exponential sex drives.... It may be hormone driven... it may also be between the ears...

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 339813)
What do you mean untrue?

The sex drives of guys on T does go up exponentially; it is known effect of testosterone. (for anyone)


Soon 05-15-2011 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by citybutch (Post 339816)
There are plenty of women with exponential sex drives....

I am just saying that (and it was even just posted on the doc.) that ONE of the effects of testosterone is an increased sex drive--it is a physiological response to the T.

citybutch 05-15-2011 06:04 PM

Indeed... I am not arguing with that... and the comment I am addressing is:

""It's a shame women can't feel it," Chaz says, "and know how biological it is.""

The implication Chaz made was that women do not feel the same level of sex drives as men... and that just is not true..

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 339818)
I am just saying that (and it was even just posted on the doc.) that ONE of the effects of testosterone is an increased sex drive--it is a physiological response to the T.


Leigh 05-15-2011 06:06 PM

Chaz looks great in a suit, I hope to look that good in one someday ;)

Heart 05-15-2011 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by citybutch (Post 339821)
""It's a shame women can't feel it," Chaz says, "and know how biological it is.""

The implication Chaz made was that women do not feel the same level of sex drives as men... and that just is not true..

What made me wince in Chaz's comment was the possible subtext (totally unintentional I'm sure) that if women could understand how biological men's sex drive is, they might excuse sexually aggressive behavior, be more willing to meet men's need for sex, etc etc etc... it's the kind of thinking that, in the extreme, has been used to justify rape.

Heart

atomiczombie 05-15-2011 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heart (Post 339873)
What made me wince in Chaz's comment was the possible subtext (totally unintentional I'm sure) that if women could understand how biological men's sex drive is, they might excuse sexually aggressive behavior, be more willing to meet men's need for sex, etc etc etc... it's the kind of thinking that, in the extreme, has been used to justify rape.

Heart

I can totally see how that can be interpreted that way, which is why words need to be chosen very carefully when talking about these kinds of subjects. I think I understand what Chaz was trying to say, at least I think so. When I went on T and started on my full dose back in November, I was just shocked at how high my sex drive went. I have never experienced anything like that in my life. It was actually overwhelming for me. I imagine that is what Chaz was getting at. However, no amount of hormone-driven sex drive justifies bad behavior, especially rape. But I honestly do not think that Chaz was trying to justify anything, just making note of how much his sex drive changed on the T.

Mister Bent 05-15-2011 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomiczombie (Post 339885)
I can totally see how that can be interpreted that way, which is why words need to be chosen very carefully when talking about these kinds of subjects. I think I understand what Chaz was trying to say, at least I think so. When I went on T and started on my full dose back in November, I was just shocked at how high my sex drive went. I have never experienced anything like that in my life. It was actually overwhelming for me. I imagine that is what Chaz was getting at. However, no amount of hormone-driven sex drive justifies bad behavior, especially rape. But I honestly do not think that Chaz was trying to justify anything, just making note of how much his sex drive changed on the T.



Chaz made a couple of statements that felt a little "over compensatory" to me, perhaps trying to define that line between who he was when he lived as a lesbian and the man he is now. (For example, how much women talk, gossip, etc.) It's not uncommon, but it was decidedly sexist.

As much as these statements made me outwardly cringe, especially the one referenced here, I think any subtext can only be implied by others. It really felt to me more a matter of his own astonishment at how high sex drive is not a myth. I understand where Heart is coming from, and it's a point worth making, but it really feels reaching to assume Chaz meant that women "might excuse sexually aggressive behavior, be more willing to meet men's need for sex..."


Rockinonahigh 05-15-2011 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinker (Post 339811)
I've seen a range of (US money) $5,000-$9,000.

WOW..lotta $$ to b shure.

Thinker 05-16-2011 07:27 AM

Good read titled Trans Framing, or why Chaz Bono doesn't speak for me

The author also draws some comparisons to what Chaz's doc did for public opinion versus what the movie Boys Don't Cry did. Well written.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/0...t-speak-for-me

Heart 05-16-2011 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Bent (Post 339893)

I understand where Heart is coming from, and it's a point worth making, but it really feels reaching to assume Chaz meant that women "might excuse sexually aggressive behavior, be more willing to meet men's need for sex..."


Well, I made the point worth making, so not sure where the "but" comes from, as I did not assume that Chaz was referencing assault or rape. It is possible to understand and support Chaz in his personal journey, (which he is choosing to make public for good reasons), and still examine the implications of his use of sexist language. They are not mutually exclusive of one another.

Heart

Mister Bent 05-16-2011 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinker (Post 339992)
Good read titled Trans Framing, or why Chaz Bono doesn't speak for me

The author also draws some comparisons to what Chaz's doc did for public opinion versus what the movie Boys Don't Cry did. Well written.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/0...t-speak-for-me

Thanks for posting this, Thinker, it's a thoughtful and well stated piece. It also helped me put my finger on some of the issues I couldn't name, but were lingering as bothersome for me, especially on this notion of "becoming" when in fact, one already "is." As well as:

"I think it's unfortunate that we've moved from that powerful narrative of trans maleness as authentic identity to a narrative of transition as medically- and surgically-constructed masculinity."



Quote:

Originally Posted by Heart (Post 339996)
Well, I made the point worth making, so not sure where the "but" comes from, as I did not assume that Chaz was referencing assault or rape. It is possible to understand and support Chaz in his personal journey, (which he is choosing to make public for good reasons), and still examine the implications of his use of sexist language. They are not mutually exclusive of one another.

Heart

Of course they are not mutually exclusive of one another, and I absolute agree his use of sexist language - in multiple applications - should be examined (most especially by him).

Thank you for clarifying that you did not "assume that Chaz was referencing assault or rape." That was from whence my "but" came, since his intent is unknown. I'm very glad you opened up the discussion on Chaz sexist language, as it was something that stood out to me while watching the documentary, and which astounded me.


citybutch 05-16-2011 08:50 AM

Thank you so much for posting... !

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinker (Post 339992)
Good read titled Trans Framing, or why Chaz Bono doesn't speak for me

The author also draws some comparisons to what Chaz's doc did for public opinion versus what the movie Boys Don't Cry did. Well written.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/0...t-speak-for-me


BullDog 05-16-2011 10:01 AM

I didn't watch the documentary, but I just watched a 4 minute clip from him being on Letterman, and to me it reinforced the stuff the author was talking about from the link Thinker provided.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31749_16...-10391698.html

Maybe he is going through a bravado phase. When Letterman asked him if his interactions with women were different he said, well I think I frustrate my girlfriend more. I can be an "A." I can be insensitive. I can be a guy.


WTF?

Heart 05-16-2011 10:28 AM

The article Thinker linked to is interesting and I really appreciate the author's framework, especially as it relates to sexism and stereotypes, but the narrative is far broader and deeper than the issue of Chaz's, or Brandon Teena's, or any one person's transition, coming out process, or identity. The narrative really is: Identity in the Context of a Sexist and Misogynistic Culture. It is a shared narrative, one that impacts all of us and that we are all responsible for.

And to be fair to Chazz, I believe I heard him say that he has always felt himself to be male (as opposed to becoming male), and even said that his relationship with his gf was never a "lesbian" relationship. It's difficult to hold Chaz alone accountable for the narrative/framework imposed upon all of us by sexism and misogyny.

Plus... I continue to find the use of the word "cis" (as used in the author's essay) to be problematic and have sexist/misogynistic implications when applied across the board to reference non-trans people. Like stereotypes, it's a simplification that upon closer examination, doesn't hold up well.
But maybe I'm hair-splitting.


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