It's been a dream of mine to marry but...
 

I would love to marry... But when and if I do... I'm only doing it once... I'm a forever kind of person... I want that kind of love... It's why I've been single for so long... I'm looking for Ms. Right not for Ms Right now...

Marriage
 

I would only marry after several years of dating. I would marry traditionally the way my ancestors have married for hundreds of years. I am native and believe our ways need to be kept alive and passed on from generation to generation.

Yes I would marry and yes I want to marry again (once to a bio man long, long ago).

Underneath it all, I am an old-fashioned traditionalist.

I still believe in what marriage stands for.

To me, it is a real commitment, with all the legal benefits and protections, a confirmation of our love, sticking around through thick and thin, good times and bad and working through the hard times. Not quite as easy to just walk away.

This is how I feel.

Other posts reflect different perspectives.

I was married in '92 to a bio-male. We dated for over 6 years before we got married, but the one thing he refused to do was live together.
Big mistake. He was a momma's boy and after doing ALL the housework for two years I had enough. There is more I was unhappy about, I will not list them.

I swore for years I would never get married. I was so eager to get out of the marriage I forgot to request I could resume using my maiden name. Filing the legal request, and all of the time and expense of changing my name back - on everything, driver's license, ss card, etc. - was a pain in the arse.

I swore left right up and down I would never do it again. Besides, I think a relationship takes more commitment when you are not legally obligated.

But here I am now, two + years later and I am considering it, heck I even asked him to marry me. I LOVE living with chefhmboyrd. I am in no rush, and we can't be legally married in TN anyways. TN would be last on that policy, for sure, since legal marriage (according to the state) is a union between a male and a female in front of a priest. I have already been married once before god, and it failed. So I won't do that again.

We have a domestic partnership, notarized per his employer's policies, so I am on his health insurance and such. I would like to file for marriage in Massachusetts, but we haven't found the time or resources for that yet. We were both born there, so it seems fitting, and I feel if same-sex marriage is ever recognized federally, our MA union would hold.

My divorce left me with the opinion that marriage is a legal union between two people, sort of like a corporation, a contract binding the two. I do believe in commitment /marriage ceremonies and what they stand for, look up "marry" in the dictionary. However, I feel if two people take legal steps to form a union, they should be recognized by the law and not be invalidated because the union was between two parties of the same gender.

I step down from the soapbox. Carry on, my fellow love bunnies.

Red and I will celebrate 9yrs in December. We fall into the 24/7 box however. Here is a typical day.

5:45 -I get up and turn on the coffee maker, let 2 of the 5 dogs out. I then sit at the computer and have my cup of coffee reading the news.

6:15-I take a shower and get ready for work.

6:45-Red gets up which is usually a major chore she is not a morning person. I make her a cup of coffee and sit it on her makeup desk. I spend the next 20mins trying to get the 3 amigos to get out of bed and go outside.

7:15-Red is heading out for work. She is a school teacher and works 8:00-5:30. Her commute is 45mins. Two nights a week she does after school daycare which means she gets home around 7-7:30. Then there are those days where there are unscheduled parent teacher meetings and various other last minute things that commonly happen in a school enviroment.

8:00-I work on commission only so I do not have a set time table. If I have a lead I schedule the time myself. My days vary so much that I can not even think of what a real schedule looks like.

6:00-7:00 pm Red usually wonders in around this time. I am here sometimes and sometimes I am on a sales lead. We aren't very good about planning dinner so we usually just figure something out when we both get home.

10:00pm-It's pretty much bed time for the both of us. So during the last 3 hours we haven't really done much but cook dinner, sit down for a few minutes and work on what's happening the next day.

So If we sleep 8 hours and we work 12 hour days that leaves 4 hours a day that we may have time to do something together during the week. Weekends are usually filled with getting ready for the next week.

Red travels alot during the summer and I usually have 2-3 weeks alone time. I have things I do that she doesn't partake in so we feel we have the me time.

To sum it up 24/7 works for us, if we were apart anymore we'd not know much about each other.

Marriage is very definatly for me. Hell, I've done it twice. Lol
I believe in the sanctity of marriage & feel it's the ultimate commitment. Will I marry again? Absolutely. My first marriage was convenient; she was pregnant, needed a father for the baby & I wanted to be a dad. The second, years later, was unadulterated pure love. I learned a lot from my second wife & marriage & continue to grow & evolve. Hopefully 3 will be the charm.
Just my experience & .02.

Hello,

Im all in favor for anyone to get married..They should get everything hetersexuals gets..plainand simple..

I never saw myself getting married, even thou I have been asked a few times.I would feel trapped,but I do like living with someone and going that route..

yes for equal marriage !!

I can't believe I'm saying this after being financially and emotionally devastated by a divorce 3 years ago, but I loved being married. And dammit, I'd do it again. Always tilting at a windmill ...

I would get married if I found the right person.

You two are so awesome! Loved meeting you !

We are engaged! First time ever for me, and I am very excited about it. We will marry "legally" in Canada, so she can take my name, then we will have another celebration of our commitment here. When we can legally marry in Oregon, we will do that too. I'm a fan. WE are blessed in so many ways. I look forward to the rest of my life with my BEAUTIFUL wife-to-be.

Fantastic news!

I wish the very best in life for the both of you.:rrose:

Nope. . . .

I always said I would never ever BUT I met the lovely lady I call my wife and we dated for 3 years before we wed. I can't even think of being with out her we match each other so very well. I wanted to give her everything and the thing that most precious to me ... my last name living in NY we were able to legally marry she was on my benefits even before we got hitched to sum it up I married my best friend and it was the happiest day of my life

Other: Divorced in your country/state. (have been married)

I was always against marriage for myself. Then when I did it, the validation I got from exchanging vows in front of 40 witnessness and having a justice of the peace tell us we were now a part of Amsterdam history archives... I dunno... just felt emmense. And the level of betrayal I felt for my wife going against the vows she made in front of 40 witnesses... the outrage those witnesses felt as well... was one of the most agonising things I had ever felt.

I now "get" the impact of marraige ceremony, for me.

Marriage for me changes everything, it changes the level of commitment I bring to the relationship. For me, living together, dating, long distance...none of those things made me want to get up day after day and tell myself I choose to be here; good, bad, ugly, wonderful...and do the work needed to make that forever a reality.

Something changes in me when I stand before family, friends, my God...I am human and I have human failings, but at the end of the day I would never do anything to harm my marriage or my wife.

Is Marriage For You?
 

I recently received an invitation to a lesbian wedding in the mail and found myself hosting dichotomous emotions. On the one hand, of course I was happy for my friends. They've found someone with whom they want to share their lives, come what may. On the other, I myself thinking, "Ugh, really? Do we have to be so fucking assimilationistic? (I doubt that's an actual word, but it works for me contextually) Of course I'm all for everyone having equal rights, blah, blah, but do we always have to resort to heteronormative paradigms? I think that's my biggest issue with the whole marriage "thing". I want the benefits, should I choose to embrace them, but I so strongly wish it didn't mirror nonqueer society in order to grant me said rights. Is that just having cake and wanting to eat it, too?

I once said never again would I ever take the trip down the isle,I did it twice both were for all the wrong reasons at diffrent times of my life.The first to young and wanting to get away from home..didnt happen then divorce and two kids later turned me upside down like I never thought I would be dealing with.The second he was a friend from my past who my kids loved like a dad..he loved them as well so it became a conveniance thing evn tho he knew I didnt do bio guys ever again.As with things it came to an end and we are still friends tho with a lot of distance.
At this point in my life i'm free,that sounds great but it dose get to be a lonly road to walk.If I ever do tale the plunge again I will spend time makeing shure its what we both want and what we both can handle the ebb and flow of the life.I'm older,I hope wiser.The future,well we will see.

marriage, for me, was aping no hettie. The rules of our marriage was between me and my wife. two wives.

Our marriage aped heterosexuals about as much as our sex life does. we have sex at night in a bed most of the time, just like hetties. We eat three meals a day, just like hetties. we go to work, go to the park, roller skate, ride a bike, have kids, have cats, travel, stay in B&B's ( and want the same rights about staying in a B&B in the same bed as a hettie) but all of these things aren't "aping" hetties. So why would the choice to get married and be self sovreign over your own relationship be aping a hettie any more than all the other things we do in a day/lifetime that's the same at hetties?

I didn't own my wife. she didn't own me. Just like the original meaning of the term "queer" wasn't very nice but it's been reclaimed. I reclaimed marriage for myself and my wife. Our rules. Our love. Our decisions. I get really pissed off about people saying my marraige aped some hetties marriage. How the hell would they know?

I also get pissed off with people saying my partners using a strap on apes heterosexual sex too.

If my partner picker wasn't broken, I would say "yes." But since that is not the case, my answer is "no".

I'm divorced.

I would get married again one day if I felt it was the right person, place and circumstance. If it doesn't happen I am ok with that, too. It's not a goal, but if it happens, it happens. And I plan on making a MUCH better decision next time than I did the first! I didn't get married for the right reasons the first time.

Things morph and change (like marriage or not marriage), and I was really hoping for some discussion...your answer is perfect!

I believe in open marriage. It has worked for me for years. In my current situation, I have been in an open marriage for 10 years (maybe longer, she's the one that keeps track).

Do I believe we, LGBT people deserve the right to get married? Absolutely. However, is this our only rallying cry in the LGBT community, because it kind of seems like it is.

Housing discrimination, job discrimination, bullying of LGBT kids or perceived LGBT kids, hate crimes---seem to me MUCH bigger issues in which to rally our community around.

Rope--

I completely agree that there are much more important issues for our community...however this one seems to wake up everyone and suceed in bringing visability to our struggles.

Equality is important, human dignity is imperative, but what other issue has brought our struggles to this point? We have to fight the battles as they come (in my opinion), and after marriage we go for something else...because we are seen as "equal" in one way, it will be harder to justify continued inequality in housing, jobs, etc....

If I met the right girl, I would absoulutly ask her to marry me. I love the idea of it. Are there other issues affecting our community, yes there are. But marriage is an issue of the heart and of love and for me a very important issue. I want to be able to marry the person I love just like any other person on the planet. We are all human, gay, straight and everyone in between. If I want to marry my fellow human no matter what the gender or orientation, I should be able to do it without judgement. So yes marriage is for me. And wherever you are girl of my dreams....look out cause I'm coming for ya and I'm gonna ask you to marry me ;)

No, but being in love and monogamous is. I just don't like contracts with the government.

Seeing as we now have equal marriage in Aotearoa/New Zealand, I'm a hell yeah! I'm never been married, but want to some day.

to be or not to be married
 

I am unconventional about marriage besides the obvious. Marriage is a heart place. I am monogomous about that set of feelings. I have the one place there for her. I love living alone. I dont mind not being in the same town. I would like two houses tho. I dont have to have our lives intertwine. Im not sure I am capable of intertwining. Marriage means you are my priority along with your children and my family. Marriage means sharing.

Marriage is a feeling that doesnt go away. It is something I feel I cannot change and that I cannot control. I have tried. It is like wifefi. It is always there except when service gets interrupted.

Been married twice for 11 yrs each time.. I hear third times a charm! So Yes. I do & would again.

Very adorable !! :)

Marriage
 

is just a word some people take seriously and others just pretend to take seriously. If I need a piece of paper to convince me, where I belong who my heart belongs to or I need to feel safe I need therapy not a license.

With all do respect IMHO it is more then just a piece of paper. It could mean the difference between someone having admittance to their partner in a hospital or being allowed to make decisions for said partner. Then there's tax breaks and I could go on.
As for the question. I've been married twice.The first time I was way to young and not for the right reasons as we were pressured by family.The second one was to my partner of 11 years we are divorced but on good terms. So would I marry again, absolutely I love the commitment and love that surrounds it.

I see, well it depends how you look at it. A power of attorney is effective, actually more powerful than a license. And why do I need a license to show love and commitment? It's a personal choice.

:knitgirl:

I Never was,so i'm somewhat curious about being married..
but like..curiousity killed the cat.
:knit:

I have never been married so IDK.

Now that it is legal in the US, I still don't know if I want to be married

My choice of partners hasn't been good or the relationships don't last long.

I really do not want to deal with all that entails a failed marriage either.