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-   -   Are butches really a dying breed? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4828)

Mr Nice Guy 04-21-2012 03:26 PM

I've seen many Butches in NH. I'll tell you where to look if you want to move. I see them all the time. Of course I work outside everyday. So I see plenty of them. :)

~ocean 04-21-2012 04:11 PM

must be something in the air up there lol

Quintease 04-21-2012 06:37 PM

There was a bit group of them outside my flat tonight. Unfortunately they weren't mine so I couldn't share them out ;)

morningstar55 04-21-2012 07:27 PM

i would say no... butchs are not a dying breed.
BUT ........... the gentlemen old school honest types are.
i mean dont they know you can still be a stud/bad boi etc.. but yet still have this gentlemen old school about them that melts any girls heart.

tazz 04-21-2012 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Nice Guy (Post 569644)
I've seen many Butches in NH. I'll tell you where to look if you want to move. I see them all the time. Of course I work outside everyday. So I see plenty of them. :)

***looks in Mr. Nice Guy's direction... ;)

Hack 04-21-2012 08:40 PM

Speaking for myself, I'm alive and well.

;)

tara_kerrie 04-21-2012 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55 (Post 569828)
i would say no... butchs are not a dying breed.
BUT ........... the gentlemen old school honest types are.
i mean dont they know you can still be a stud/bad boi etc.. but yet still have this gentlemen old school about them that melts any girls heart.

I am one of the gentleman old school honest types...in a 28 year old's body.

tara_kerrie 04-21-2012 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55 (Post 569828)
i would say no... butchs are not a dying breed.
BUT ........... the gentlemen old school honest types are.
i mean dont they know you can still be a stud/bad boi etc.. but yet still have this gentlemen old school about them that melts any girls heart.


In my case, morning star being a gentleman old school honest type makes me un-datable for many femmes. I cannot count on all my fingers and toes how many times i've been told that i'm too sweet and innocent because of my ways.
It just happened last night.

tazz 04-21-2012 09:47 PM

i've seen plenty of butches in my area~bay area Cali~however, they are usually in a relationship, or, into the Leather life and i'm not in that lifestyle anymore...

morningstar55 04-22-2012 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KerrieH (Post 569926)
In my case, morning star being a gentleman old school honest type makes me un-datable for many femmes. I cannot count on all my fingers and toes how many times i've been told that i'm too sweet and innocent because of my ways.
It just happened last night.

ahh im sorry to read this...... hope you find the right kinda girl :)
im 57 and well......... im kinda looking around and kinda not.
i adore a old fashion old school type.. BUT i also melt over one with some bad boi , kink ,packing kinda guy mixed in there.. yeha.. lol lol ..... sorry kinda got carried away there.

whewww i need some chocolate :chocolate:

OS Butch 04-22-2012 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55 (Post 570002)
ahh im sorry to read this...... hope you find the right kinda girl :)
im 57 and well......... im kinda looking around and kinda not.
i adore a old fashion old school type.. BUT i also melt over one with some bad boi , kink ,packing kinda guy mixed in there.. yeha.. lol lol ..... sorry kinda got carried away there.

whewww i need some chocolate :chocolate:

I knew there was a reason I wasn't your type ;) Hehehehe!

stonebutchinpa 04-22-2012 08:31 AM

This old fashioned old school butch is alive and well in PA. I think the femmes are a dying breed, atleast in this area.

ArkansasPiscesGrrl 04-22-2012 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KerrieH (Post 569925)
I am one of the gentleman old school honest types...in a 28 year old's body.

yes you are!

APG, glad she is able to call Kerrie her friend!

Greco 04-22-2012 08:46 AM

OSOF Butch
 
Nope! I'm quite alive and well and so are my OSOF Butch friends...Greco

Breezy 04-22-2012 09:10 AM

I met, dated and married my OFOS butch. There are plenty out there, trust me. I see them daily. Most of the butch women I know are not trans but go by she (female id'd). My gf & I hear them lament where are the femmes who are into female id'd butches? Where are the femmes who can accept us as we are and not insist we follow a particular "rule book" simply because we are butch.

My gf included here and other butches have been scarred because femmes said they could not cry, have feelings or act in the least bit what they termed "girly." My gf was shocked when she was allowed to be herself completely and not ridiculed or stereotyped simply because she is butch and did or said something ex gfs had said was not butch enough or was girly. For pity's sake, we are all human but to hold such rigid ideas about what is acceptable is just too much. Who are the butch police and can we get them fired?

tara_kerrie 04-22-2012 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArkansasPiscesGrrl (Post 570102)
yes you are!

APG, glad she is able to call Kerrie her friend!

Thanks APG! I am glad to call you my friend also.

tara_kerrie 04-22-2012 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55 (Post 570002)
ahh im sorry to read this...... hope you find the right kinda girl :)
im 57 and well......... im kinda looking around and kinda not.
i adore a old fashion old school type.. BUT i also melt over one with some bad boi , kink ,packing kinda guy mixed in there.. yeha.. lol lol ..... sorry kinda got carried away there.

whewww i need some chocolate :chocolate:

I have to learn what everyone is referring to as bad boi. Im not very kinky at all (probaly due to lack of experience being kinky), and I just started packing.

Glenn 04-22-2012 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy (Post 570121)
For pity's sake, we are all human but to hold such rigid ideas about what is acceptable is just too much. Who are the butch police and can we get them fired?


^^^^^^^^
I'll co-sign this.

Beloved 04-22-2012 09:35 AM

OFOS butch? Is that Old fashioned old school or???

Breezy 04-22-2012 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beloved (Post 570142)
OFOS butch? Is that Old fashioned old school or???

Old Fashion Old School is correct.

morningstar55 04-22-2012 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OS Butch (Post 570089)
I knew there was a reason I wasn't your type ;) Hehehehe!

... uh really now...:blink:.. lol

Beloved 04-22-2012 10:01 AM

Can someone define "old school" butch for me? I think it may mean different things to different people. If you ID that way or are partnered with someon who ID's that way tell me why. :bunchflowers:

Rope 04-22-2012 10:55 AM

Plenty of butches here in the Oakland and San Francisco area.

Old School butch I believe refers to a time when butches "had to" wear ties or masculine clothing and identify as masculine. Today, butches come in all variations on a theme-thus faggy butches, sporty butches, butches into butches, butches into femmes, queer identified butches, butches that prefer he or hy and butches that prefer she, some that feel predominantly masculine or female, some that id more trans or trans, and everything else anyone can come up with as a identifier for themself, in short, more fluid.

I've also heard that old school butch referred to a time when butches had manners, i.e., opened the car door for a femme etc. But as everyone knows <g> good manners never go out of style and are not from an 'old' or bygone era.

Rope--

NorCalStud 04-22-2012 10:55 AM

No
 
Imo. They are not a dying breed; they are a tired breed. I lived with a woman years ago who made osof a religion. She wanted me on point on all that and I will be there if the same is returned. If that lil shit didnt try and top from the bottom and skate thru all her osof committments. Part of my job became reminding her to nurture me...childhood neglect for her...again in My opinion you need similiar value systems...good division of labor skills...money...and an ability to roll your sleeves up cause it takes more than love. I think it works beautifully for dating and rarely for living together especially the older we get..just sayin.

Galahad 04-22-2012 11:15 AM

Library Girl, there are plenty of young butches in the IE, just down below from you. I see 1 almost everytime I go out in my small town.

Quintease 04-22-2012 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beloved (Post 570163)
Can someone define "old school" butch for me? I think it may mean different things to different people. If you ID that way or are partnered with someon who ID's that way tell me why. :bunchflowers:

Hm, I'd be curious to know as well. The only 'old school butch' I ever dated assaulted me when I didn't do as I was told. I'm sure that's not what anyone means, but it's sure put me off the phrase.

Toughy 04-22-2012 02:46 PM

I've always associated 'old school' with manners, courtesy, politeness and the tie and suit wearing kind of butch.....which would describe me.

I decidedly do not ever want 'old fashioned' attached to me. I associate 'old fashioned' with that fairy tale of the 50's where the man (butch) went to work and the woman (femme) stayed home and cooked, cleaned and was all made-up and pretty with supper on the table when the man came home.

I'm with Rope about old school. Manners should never be out of style and we have plenty of butches of all stripes in the Bay Area. You will see a bunch of us at our Spring Fling social on May 12. Femmes will be there also.

Maybe the problem is some femmes are looking for a very particular kind of butch and are missing all the rest of us that are right in front of your eyes.....shrug.....

Toughy 04-22-2012 02:49 PM

and one more thing.............

I have never had a femme tell me I was not butch enough. The reverse is true for me. I have had more than one femme tell me I needed to tone it down a bit.....I was too butch for them, especially to take home to the parental units. They were embarrassed when I got called Sir also.

aishah 04-22-2012 03:38 PM

i can't imagine meeting a butch who is 'too butch' for me. i'm sad that so much butch policing goes on in our communities. i've been on the end of some pretty painful femme policing, and that's not exactly the same but i know it was hurtful for me. i love all flavors of butch and i am grateful for the different ways y'all express yourselves. it would be a sad world if all the butches and femmes were exactly the same way!

dykeumentary 04-22-2012 03:55 PM

I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

Rope 04-22-2012 04:38 PM

One of my first femme g/f's in my twenties--told me I was too butch. Where she really crossed the line was asking me to wear lacy panties because 'she did that for me'...it ended very soon after that request.

Rope--

dykeumentary 04-22-2012 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dykeumentary (Post 570365)
I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

Ha! A Femme friend just informed me that it is 'not very butch' to admit that I've been told I'm not butch enough!

Corkey 04-22-2012 05:43 PM

I think that as with all things, evolution happens. Fluidity is an amazing thing, exploring the facets of identity can be life affirming, and understanding human nature is an ongoing journey. Coming to self can either be an adventure or a weight. So I choose to see the diversity that is Butch, and in that one word, a multitude of expression. Butch is not dead, it is alive and well.

bkisbutchenuff 04-22-2012 05:46 PM

Simply...NO! Butch is alive and well!:cigar:

morningstar55 04-22-2012 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy (Post 570323)
and one more thing.............

I have never had a femme tell me I was not butch enough. The reverse is true for me. I have had more than one femme tell me I needed to tone it down a bit.....I was too butch for them, especially to take home to the parental units. They were embarrassed when I got called Sir also.

to tone it down???
i never would ask my butch to tone it down ... and i was never ever embarassed when they called hym sir or refer'd to hym as my husband. i just went with it like any normal person would when there out together family or not.
ha i felt kinda wierd she someone would call us ladies... but that didnt happen to often.. hehe

tazz 04-22-2012 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dykeumentary (Post 570365)
I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

***ditto dykeumentary.
when i was a femme, i was told i'm not femme enough. now through my journeys, i've also been told i'm not butch enough.

screw it!! iamwhoiam... if anyone cannot accept me... its Their issue not mine!

~t

tara_kerrie 04-22-2012 09:02 PM

My definition of old school: when a butch/guy/trans treats the ladies with respect. They open the doors for them. They bring flowers (first date, first meet, and anything in between). A person would NEVER even think about doing anything with a friend or acquaintance's person (whethet they be together or they know their friend likes them).

I am 28 years old and most of the people that I have been around (other than members of the planet) do not even attempt to open the door for
Their partners. They dont bring flowers.

IMO these are some characteristics of an OSOF butch. These are characteristics that I am PROUD to have.

AtLast 04-23-2012 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy (Post 570321)
I've always associated 'old school' with manners, courtesy, politeness and the tie and suit wearing kind of butch.....which would describe me.

I decidedly do not ever want 'old fashioned' attached to me. I associate 'old fashioned' with that fairy tale of the 50's where the man (butch) went to work and the woman (femme) stayed home and cooked, cleaned and was all made-up and pretty with supper on the table when the man came home.

I'm with Rope about old school. Manners should never be out of style and we have plenty of butches of all stripes in the Bay Area. You will see a bunch of us at our Spring Fling social on May 12. Femmes will be there also.

Maybe the problem is some femmes are looking for a very particular kind of butch and are missing all the rest of us that are right in front of your eyes.....shrug.....

Yup, quite a distinction between "old school" and "old fashioned" and manners matter- for both butches & femmes... people in general, actually.

Funny, "old school" really has no time cohort at all. I have often heard a butch much younger than myself say "I'm old school."

Martina 04-23-2012 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dykeumentary (Post 570416)
Ha! A Femme friend just informed me that it is 'not very butch' to admit that I've been told I'm not butch enough!

What kinda femmes are you talking to? Lawd, the gall, to police someone's gender presentation like that.

morningstar55 04-23-2012 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55 (Post 570483)
to tone it down???
i never would ask my butch to tone it down ... and i was never ever embarassed when they called hym sir or refer'd to hym as my husband. i just went with it like any normal person would when there out together family or not.
ha i felt kinda wierd she someone would call us ladies... but that didnt happen to often.. hehe

haha... was rereading some stuff here... and ty for the reppies ... but boy i kinda chopped this up huh?? lol ..
should of left out the she part in that last sentance and put when


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