yup , I'm the ruler of the thread :sunglass:

what I wrote WAS ==> to me (for me, my opinion, etc.)

no show here, folks

the end

put me on ignore , if I bother you so fucking much

Uh..that would put you in default Dude.

First and fucking foremost human. I agree brother Corkey!

I think you're quite clear, Toughy.

I was born butch but I didn't really want to be male. I wanted to be a female who could wear what she wants, cut her hair like she wants, work and play like she wants and love the kind of women she wants. Society makes the cognitive leap from all that to "oh, she wants to be a man."

I ID as a bulldyke because the term connotes "lesbian" (which includes "woman" by default) and "butch" all in one tidy little word that just rolls off my tongue...especially in the presence of earnest straight people trying really hard to be cool :cigar2:

LOL .......You don't bother Me at all . I find you very funny !
Carry on oh mighty ruler !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Vive la difference'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ocean

DUDE and BILLY -

You both have been told before to put each other on ignore. The next one of you who takes a swipe, posts to the other person, quotes the other person, or drags this bullshit to another thread will receive an immediate time out.

You both are better than this and it's embarrassing to see two people I respect slapping the shit out of each other in a thread where people are trying to have a conversation.

STOP IT IMMEDIATELY.

No more warnings.

Thanks,
Angie

I love sisterhood! Bonding does seem easier for femmes (minus the catty back-stabbing) which is why I tend to hang with other femmes.
No one has mentioned something obvious to me. We are engendered with masculine or feminine characteristics via the actions of T and E. Ones normal endogenous levels will effect whether or not you have mild or bodacious secondary sex characteristics (butch swagger or wide hips that swing when you walk, etc.).
In this case, yes, butchness will come out the pores. T, E and many other hormones do come out your pores. It's sexy as frak! to a femme like moi and makes me wax girly (I'll even get a high lilt to my speech and laugh).
In closing, I just want to say again....bodacious. Thank you very much. :poc-bleah:

I am a young masculine girl....I play bball, soccer, volleyball, softball, track/field....pick a ball and I can play with it..................

I get the masculine part.,....I do really live it.....it lives with me every day with every gesture, movement. I am masculine.....there is no doubt.

Who will help me find my feminine that lives with my masculine?

When I came out, I was blessed to have a femme who loved my masculinity and understood my femininity and helped me put them together.

I will always forever give thanks to her

Going to go back a few posts and comment on the hair cut and Butches wearing a dress..I kinda know something about both subjects..

Is a butch any less a butch if they are wearing a dress..??..I say no..My little brother was getting married and my mom,sister and grandma was giving me a real hard time about what i was going to wear..They were pushing me real hard on wearing a dress..I wasnt in the wedding so couldnt i wear what i want..??..Well took it as a dare and me and my girlfriend at the time went shopping for a dress for me..Yep bought one and wore it..I felt out of place so bad that i was very uncomfortable..It seemed like everyone came to the wedding to see if i was going to wear that dress..My girlfriend liked seeing me in it..Couldnt wait till i could take it off..Ok i got the dress and wearing it and my sister makes the comment on how i was walking..REALLY..?..I put the dress on and it still wasnt enough..I cant change the walk/swagger even in a dress..I wasnt any less a Butch in a dress,,just an uncomfortable one..That was about 25-26 years ago..They are still married..

A few years later my older sister was getting married..Here we go again..This time she asked me to be in the wedding..That was quite an ordeal because they were going to get married on my 21st birthday..WHAT.!!.You are going to make me wear a dress on my 21st BIRTHDAY and plan my day according to what you want me to do..Ummm NO.!.I turned down the offer to be in the wedding because of my birthaday and didnt want to wear a dress the whole entire day..On my Birthday.!!.That caused a bunch of trouble..She wouldnt change the wedding day and i wouldnt change my mind..My Butchness was fully entact that day..My other sisters boyfriend took me across the street and bought me my first legal drink while the pictures were being taken..Think we had a few..That was about 20-22 years ago..They are still married..

Yet another wedding..Another sister is getting married..She asked me to be in her wedding and i accepted..We had to wear a light pink dress with a big bow on our a#ses..Not a pretty sight or dress..None of us liked it..It was very low cut and if we bent over far enough you could see all the way to our bellybuttons..Oh yeah flower in our hair..I took that out imediately or as soon as i could..Very uncomfortable and i felt like an idiot..Again i was told to walk like a girl..How can i do that being a butch..??..Anyway it was time to take that dress off..I went out to my car and got my other clothes..Went in the bathroom to change and my grandma was in there..I said i am sorry grandma and that da#n hoop dress went right over my head and on the floor..There i was naked infront of grandma..I felt more comfortable like that than with that dress on..Put on my tightest pair of Levis and my "dress up t-shirt" with my hiking boots..Went out sat with my cousins and said now it is time to drink..My cousin smiled put a cup in front of me and filled that thing up..That marriage was over less than 3 years..{told ya,but what do i know}..

Now the hair..I prefer a little length..When i was little mom forced me to have short hair..It was her decision on how i was to wear my hair not mine..I didnt like the way it looked on me..Thought it made my ears stick out..So i like my hair to cover my ears..Told my hair girl the story and she cuts/trims accordinly..

Now with that being said..Through all those dresses and longer hair..I am still a butch on the inside and able to express it on the outside..No one can change that with a dress..It is what i feel and what i am..I am a Butch woman and very secure with that..

Kinda funny.. A few months ago i had to attend a funeral of a close family member..The kids were taking bets on what i was going to wear..Not a dress this time it was dress pants or the Levis..I picked the Levis and a shirt i ironed..They told me about it and who won..We laughed about it..The kids were not around during the dress time..They do know i will not be wearing a dress at any time even on Halloween..They know i am a Butch and respect that as it is and they dont care how i walk either..Love those kids..

sorry it got kinda long
thanks for reading

s..

Damn, I'm glad I've only got one sister! I didn't wear a dress to her wedding but I did grow out my flat top and wear a women's suit - for my mom, not my sister.

In fact, when I asked my sister if she was gonna want me in a dress for the big day, she laughed out loud and said, "Don't be silly, you'd look ridiculous."

I think she was secretly afraid that the novelty of her big bulldyke sister in a dress would become the one thing everybody remembered about her wedding...

I was trying to remember how long its been since I was in said dress .. It was at My fathers wedding :| I did it for him , it was not pretty at all .. I think it looked like a football player in drag ! lol

Hey Mr.Cynthia..
The kids are all in their early 20's and would never concider even asking if i was going to wear a dress for any reason..They know i am not going to..Why cant those other people let me be me..It is Levis and a ironed shirt or a Tux for the Grand Ball..Those are the choices..The kids get it..

Billy..
Yeah..Thinking back on those days i am sure i looked like i was in Drag..It will never happen again..If i am invited to share an important day in their lives what difference does it really make what i am wearing..Isnt it important that i show up and share the day with them..No to dresses and still am a Butch inside and out..

About a month ago i had a very important meeting i had to go to..Even still my mom pointed her finger in my face and gave me her opinion on what i should wear..Bascially dont dress like a Butch she was trying to say..Threw the dresses away many years ago so the Levis and a shirt..What i was wearing had no affect on the out come of that meeting..Hummm Really.??.

this :)

i am also grateful for butch diversity. i love all the different ways you have of expressing yourself to the world. you are so handsome and sexy it just floors me. you are seen and loved and respected.

I did drag for Halloween one year- back when I practically lived at the bar. I had some of the girls from work put makeup on me, wore a real wig and a normal outfit. I looked in the mirror and said, "Yeah, I'd buy me a drink."

Nobody recognized me until I clued them in, or moved or spoke. It was fun.

Leigh
 

As i read in the Planet i see how we as Butches and Femmes have fallen into the ways of the people around us and do what they expect of us..At the time i think we go numb and "act out" what is expected of us in a straight world to fit in to their enviroment not to upset the apple cart..Ya know i think we are all tired of tip toeing around that apple cart not to knock it over..That cart needs to be kicked over to let everyone know that we are here and we arent going away anytime soon..Butch or Femme we are humans and do have feelings of acceptance and rejection..

Sending a little Thank-You your way..
Us Butches are nothing without all you Femmes..

I know its really easy for us to act a certain way because that is what the straight world expects of us. If only they would accept us for who we all are and not make us act a certain way or be a certain person just to appease them. Absolutely butches and femmes have feelings; we all want to be accepted and loved without the fear of being rejected.

These posts are great...I have enjoyed reading them.

I went out last night and yes, I dressed to the hilt. I found a black "Jones Wear" dress at the second hand store, tags were still on it, a pair of black 3" pumps, black strapless bra, skimpy undies, black thigh hose, bangles, necklace, large hoop earrings and yes those are fake glue on nails. I had Starryeyes help me with the makeup and my hair and I went into San Diego and met up with some friends at an event. I managed to walk and stand for 3 hours last night, before I finally had enough and changed back into my real clothes....I admire the femmes for putting so much work into being femme. It was a lot of work to get myself out the door and park the car, catch the shuttle and head over to the event without guys oogling and staring at me. Walking up the long flight of stairs and not tripping was a hoot.

Would I do it again...perhaps, for me being a butch is not on the outside, but on the inside. I am a woman first and it felt good to embrace the feminine side of myself, if only just for a night.

I am sharing the link here. http://s206.photobucket.com/albums/b...gan%20picture/

Reading the last page or so of this thread made me think of the last time I wore a dress. It was at my father’s funeral. I hadn’t worn anything of the kind for many years before that. I did it to make a statement. I did it as a kind of tribute to my dad. Yet, my father would have been the last person to give a fat rat’s ass what I wore.

He was always very okay with the way I dressed and pretty much with me in general. It was because of him that I had any boy toys at all to play with growing up. He always defended me to my mother. My poor mother could never get her head around my behavior. She really couldn’t get it. She would glance my way with a puzzled expression as I rode the ends of the couch up to the saloon, swaggered in and put a crayon or a piece of dry spaghetti in my mouth as a stand in for a cigarette and drank water out of shot glasses while I played cards and got in fights. These fights consisted of punching myself and throwing myself around the room and wrestling with myself on the ground until I beat the shit out the bad guys.

Then my sister was born. She was very feminine and loved to wear my mother’s high heels and put stuff on her head and play wedding. She wore tiaras and loved being the princess. My mother was so pleased. Fast forward fifteen years and she was completely flummoxed when she brought her butch girlfriend home for a visit.

My dad seemed to be okay with whoever his kids were. When I was little he always tried to make peace in the home while not squashing who I was. When I wanted to wear my guns to church instead of freaking out about how girls shouldn’t be playing with guns like my mom did, he would explain how guns, even toy ones, didn’t belong in church. When I complained about how I had to dress to go to Mass, he would tell me how lots of real bad asses wore long coats. All the better to hide stuff in and besides he would say, it just looked cool. He taught me to fight and he was proud of how good I was at it. Keep your hands up he would say as he smacked me in the mouth to emphasize the importance. He would tell his friends what a good fighter I was. He also taught me to fish, hunt with a bow and arrow and shoot a gun. Not to mention how to throw a football, hit a baseball and pitch a wicked curve. Put some English on it he would say to me. He taught me to swim and dive and always told me I could do anything I wanted to do.

He was quite a dapper dresser. He never considered certain colors off limits. When I think of my dad I often see him in a pink shirt with a pink and purple striped tie, a very cool handkerchief in his jacket pocket and a fedora on his head. I loved to dress in his clothes as a kid.

So when I decided to wear a dress to his funeral it was a surprise to me. I don’t know why it felt right, but it did. It was something I did for him even though he never would have asked me to or even really cared if I did or not, except in that it would please my mother. So the reason I wore a dress was not to make my mother happy even though it did, it was because my mother’s happiness was important to my father and also because throughout my life he tried so hard to keep peace between us. It was for him, especially because he wouldn’t care and he wouldn’t ask.

I don't imagine I will ever do it again. Even reading this sounds like I think wearing a dress is some kind of immense sacrifice. LOL, I guess it is. It feels like it compromises who I am. It feels like I am participating in my own oppression. I'm speaking just for myself here. If you're butch and you like dresses, I mean like them on you, that's cool. I don't feel good about wearing stuff like that. It's wrapped up in all kinds of baggage for me.

I've been following this thread, and finally I will jump in.
First, when I decide to wear a dress, I look hot. This stands to reason: when I decide to wear a dress, I go all out-- it fits fabulously, my shoes and accessories are stylish, and I WORK The Dress. I have a lot of confidence, and people respond to confidence, no? As a butch, I understand that it is all about how you wear the outfit, not the outfit.

Another point to add here: Several posts here seem to refer to "drag" as a negative thing, and that is not cool. Drag queens are people who are expressing their truth. Some of my dear friends are drag queens. Also, as a feminist, i feel that drag queens make an important contribution politically by pointing out "performative" femininity in our sexist society.

I challenge butches to find another way to describe their appearance than to assume we all are snorting with derision at references to drag.

my butch partner does drag...some of the comments about wearing dresses and about drag in this thread made me wonder (in a positive way) if others ever do drag and find it a fun way to express themselves.

I never looked very good in a dress. I have had to wear women’s clothes for some jobs. I wore blouses and slacks, pant suits, some make-up now and again and jewelry. I have femmed it up a bit like that to go out occasionally for fun. But it never fails that someone will remark how I look like I’m in drag. It's better if I don't move cause once I commence walking the illusion is gone. I think it's kind of interesting and gender bending for someone who is female to do drag by dressing up as female, same if someone who is male does drag by dressing up as male. I mean it doesn't look like drag if I dress like a guy. Except for the breasts it looks like a guy, a pretty one for sure, but a guy nonetheless. So it's kind of a 21st century type of drag. Maybe. I sure don't mean any disrespect. And good on ya if you are a butch who looks good dressed in traditionally feminine clothing. I don't. I don't mind playing at dressing up in feminine attire. I just know I can't seriously pull it off.

I dress in what society-at-large considers "drag" every single day. I put myself out into the world as a woman-id'd butch who passes as a man just as often as not...and that is MY truth. Any comments here that might appear derisive toward drag seem to be directed inward at the posters who experienced awkwardness and discomfort in clothing that does NOT express their truths.

The only difference between me and a drag queen is that I don't do shows. :dance2:

It was bound to happen. It always does.

drag is the clothes you have on........

drag queens are entirely different except when they aren't........all I know is the draq queens that helped me along my butch path told me not to ever wear a dress because I looked like a horrible bad drag queen......

the last time I had on a dress....well it was a military uniform skirt, shirt, jacket...was at a WAC (women's army corps) gathering in SF in the mid-80s. I was in the color guard. The last time I wore a civilian dress/skirt was in 1970 when I graduated from high school. We could not wear pants to school, girls had to wear dress or skirt and the length was no shorter than 3inches from the middle of the knee (you had to kneel and it was measured from the floor).......

I never ever felt comfortable in a dress or skirt....except for military uniforms.....that kind of drag just is not me. I am the oldest generation in my family so I don't have to please parents grandparents aunties uncles and neither of my sisters would ever think I should wear a dress/skirt.

me too bud!!!