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That sounds really hot cupcake, but again, I understand what the fear is about. What I'm saying is that it wouldn't work for me. My comment was simple, really. I don't need to keep hearing 'oh but you don't understand how stone butches are' because I'm not a stone butch and my comment was about my preference not theirs.
This is all hypothetical anyway. I haven't been sexual with anyone in so long. I'm ready to start adopting cats and be done. |
I also want to add that I don't get too into labels. I call myself butch because I've always called myself butch. But, if not wanting to be penetrated or not having someone touching my chest junk means I'm "stone", then I am most definitely stone.
So, when I mentioned using hands/mouth, and I sooo can't believe I forgot "boobs", with a little more gusto, I meant it in the perfect way that imperfect cupcake said, "actively jerking them off with my boobs"....(sigh)....yeah, that kind of "gusto". |
I misunderstand then, angel toes. You sounded like you were having a go at someone because of the words "feeling threatened".
If you were just saying " oh, I can't understand that in a personal sense, but have at it, whatever floats your boat" I didn't read that clearly. But thanks for clarifying that was what you meant after all. :) |
The only jab I took at them was when I said I would laugh and scare them on purpose. I took back the part about laughing. The scaring part I meant like 'boo' not grabbing them...
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And you gave me a new idea for later....:thinking:... |
I wonder if stones who prefer this type of relationship are simply much less common with millenials. It's like I keep trying to understand a forgein language. I am enjoying everyone's banter.
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I dunno. I'm 46 and some of my sex buddy partners have been in their early 30s and LOVE what I am. It's a sexuality, like any other kind of sexuality. They usually have never had anyone who "gets" them before and I'm their first. I don't call them stones. I don't use terminology like that. We just discuss what's ok or not ok for touching with them. Most the ones I meet in that age bracket understand themselves as female bodied but not women. They mostly haven't talked about it much at all, or they call themselves genderqueer.
They are usually new to bdsm and/or new to the acceptance of having a cock in their mind. They are also really confused why someone with my expereince would want to be with someone with very little expereince in that way. Personally, I don't find expereince makes much difference either way. We either have chemistry or we don't. If they are enthusiastic and have desire, then they pick it up very quickly. I have to learn them too. I'm not old school, and I don't care if people use labels or IDs or not. A rose by any other name still smells the same. Not all of my partners have ID'd. But to my own personal definition they were butch. Didn't matter to me that they didn't use the ID. To them butch meant something with a lot of rules around presenting a certain way or behaving a certain way. They didn't want those rules. I get it. I don't agree, but I totally get it. |
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Ms. Cupcake is right; if you are going to have sex with someone you should be having some sort of discussion beforehand about what you like, and what you don't. It saves soooooo much heartache later. My first stone didn't know what to call it, didn't know how to tell me what areas were off limits....it was an unpleasant experience for us both. If we had discussed those things ahead of time, it would have led to a much better first time with a woman for me! Good thing I am tenacious! Lol |
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I disagree that it is less common with younger people. People are born Stone, not made. It is not like all of a sudden this type of sexuality stopped existing. I think there are a number of people who are Stone, but think there is something wrong with them, so they just "put up" with touch they don't want. They think they are being "bad partners", if they don't. It is possible that the millenials just haven't "come out" yet, as Stone...they are still in the process of fighting with themselves over it. Or, as Titsalina (cupcake), said, they just don't call themselves Stone. I'm sure many have never even heard of the word, or think there is no one else like them. That certainly was me at some point. It wasn't until I found another butch/femme site and learned that there were others like me and what the name was for my type of sexuality. |
Thanks Dapper, as always you can put into words (as did cupcake) what others have been feeling for a long time. For me, I never called myself stone, I am not 100% but say 98% stone and always thought "something was wrong with me". I know I am female bodied but don't feel traditionally "womanly" which was brought to light when I discovered the calm and relief that packing brought me. It allowed me to identify bringing myself to orgasm while pleasing someone else. The cock was a part of me. There are other joys that come from being top or bottom.
Dapper has always been able to help this butch develop an id that was hidden before. Thanks |
Thank you all for educating me on this a bit. I really just want to understand. I have not run into it at all, but at some point I may, and I want to be able to be totally understanding and respectful of the stone identity.
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Most people I've slept with that don't like penetration still like being sucked off in a way that affirms the masculine perception/take of their genitals.
I really don't like using the term stone because I find it really loaded with "what's a real stone, what isn't, who gets to be one" I generally just talk to people about what their sexuality means to them, how they see themselves, what turns them on the most. And most of the time, in bed, after they trust me, things change a bit - they let me in on fantasies, what they'd *really* like to do etc etc etc. It takes a while to get to know someone sexually, to have them actually let go enough to truly be themselves in bed. I generally don't tend to make commitments or promises with anyone until we've slept together for a bit because people tend to "be" what they think you want - or that's at least my expereince - and it takes a while for who they actually are to come out. And I don't like making promises until I get to see who that person is. Especially sexually. Because I've that that stuff turn very different, very quickly, when people relax. I tend to talk a lot more abut fantasies now in order to get a better idea of underlaying sexualities earlier on. I don't mean to be an arse, but I'm not trying to have a convo abut stone butches or stone culture or stone sexuality. I am NOT a stone femme. I am just a plain ol femme that happens to be a pillow princess most of the time. I am not old school, nor stone. More like Post modern pillow princess. This is about femmes that aren't stone but are big ol submissives or pillow Empresses (dominant bottoms - the kind that service tops lurrrrve. I know sooooooo many service top butches that if I was one of these I'd be a happy girl indeed. You know, the kind that knows exactly what kind of fucking they need and they need it right now, with your cock, stud), or bottoms just the same. That's why I didn't put this in a stone thread, I made this an "other" sexuality thread |
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cupcake: I like the post modern thing...socially constructing stone butch, nice. I think I am a post modern stone butch nice :)
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