I am happy you realized this!

Don't worry about me - I eat quite enough (even if chocolate makes up more of my diet than it should), I get out walking and love to be outside for activities AND I always make time in my day for self- care rituals. Self care is honestly one of the most important things to me and it is not always physical. Taking time for emotional and spiritual connection or grounding is also very essential.

I think work is just my way of letting all of my creativity come out.

Faults...
 

I procrastinate....

boy this is something I have really been thinking about lately. I know that I have some no matter what i say.

1. Im like a bulldog with a bone when I want to know the answer to a ? I have been told I dont know how to let things go. That maybe true however to me it feels like Im not worthy enough to know the truth. Which just makes me want to know even more.

2. I work too much. however I know one day I may not be able to so I feel you get it while u can

3. I havent realy learned the art of tact. I tell it like I see and I have a hard time NOT saying it.

4. I expect whom Im with to be able to talk to me about anyhing and everything. I have had it and I have not. I perfer to have it and when I dont It eats at me.

5. I know I have more so this isnt the end of the list however I dont want to make myself sound like someone who is really hard to get along with Im not or atleast I dont think I am

My faults....
 

Hmmmm,... what are my faults? How much space do we have on the servers? This could take a while. :)

• I "care" too much. I try to save everyone I love / care for even to the point of not considering my own well-being
• I am much too analytical. I analyze everything and try to read between the lines. What's really bad; however, is that I automatically jump to the worst possible scenario and sometimes cannot "shake it off", don't realize that it's not the most likely answer.
• I am too quick to forgive; I allow people to hurt me and take advantage of me because I don't value myself enough. It's hard to offend me, but I am fiercely protective of those I care about and am quite familiar with the concept of "putting my foot in my mouth". (Wow, this is starting to sound like therapy....)
• While people don't really scare me unless I let them get too close, I allow situations to intimidate me or procrastinate in the things I really want to see or experience. I should be bolder.
• I sometimes "shut down" when I really should be more open about what I am feeling and thinking. I have to really trust someone to "let them in".

This could take days....

I am so hard headed I will not admit that I cant accomplish something no matter what it is. I am well aware that at my height and weight I have less of a physical ability than most ppl , however I feel like I have the determination and brain power to make up for it. This being said, I needed to move a tractor wheel and tire yesterday. Those things are massive. I moved it however, I ache all over and Im pretty sure I broke my finger. So for today I will say that my big bull head is a fault because my body doesnt like me right now.

Poking Bears
 

You, Darlin', are a braver soul than I! LOL! Thank you so much for giving me one helluva laugh to start my day.

:rrose: Nicholas

I stay up far too late, sometimes denying myself sleep so that I can go over things in my head and sometimes it is not even related to myself or personal situations. I never used to do this and I think it is about time that I took value in my routines again.

Restless... I think to much a lot of the time.

I do not get scared all that easlily but trust me when I do, I am hard on myself.

I hate uncertainty. I like life when I'm planned, when things are absolutely known for the next six months, and when I can define who and what I am.

So, of course, the Universe decides I need to change this (and I do). My life fell apart and not one area, not one, is certain. Sacred cows I'd believed about myself have been tipped. It's like someone took a stick of dynamite to everything. It's been that way for the last six months or so.

However, uncertainty and even crisis can mean great growth and change. So, I've been trying not to freak out or complain when life isn't doing what it should be doing, according to moi, and just rolling with it or actually inviting uncertainty to come and visit :). I've been starting each day with a kind of prayer: "More change, please! Bring it on, life!" And it does. This isn't my natural inclination; not my anal retentive, overly planned way, but god, do I feel alive. And maybe that's far more important.

Depends on the day....and some days there isn't enough time to list them all lol

Tonight I couldn't keep my foot out of my mouth. I am not proud of that.

Its all good. I chew on mine all the time. I have learned to have friends with thicker skin. :eek: lol

I am completely admitting it was my own doing and that I should've been more respectful to this particular friend.

~ you can borrow my ray bans ~ but don't touch my rose tinted glass' ~

I can let off steam and vent for hours, when it really needs to happen.

I don't see this as a fault, unless the other person doesn't want to hear it and you vent anyway.

I have been told it is a fault because once I need to get it out after weeks of not being able to find the right outlet, it comes out. It isn't so much that the other person wants to hear it as it is super intense.

My biggest fault is my shyness. It has taken so much from me over the years. The older I get and my sweet husband have both helped me kinda over come it. Yes, I am still really shy, but its not as bad as it was, say ten years ago.

Other faults of mine: I have a hard time letting people in. I have been told I am a hard nut to crack.

I smoke way too much. That is a fault, right?

(Going to call my sister to see what other faults I may have..)

thinking that self-imposed social isolation is protective, not sometimes, but ALL the time...

Not sure if I'm all that shy, or just afraid of people.

Smoking.

Taking too long to think about things, when I should be talking about them, or acting on them. Unless I'm at work, and there's an emergent situation. Or my children need something. ?? Form of procrastination??

and I'm with Belle on this -- As a nurse I care way too much, and even personally, I can't leave that nurse at work (follows me everywhere) which is both a strength and a weakness.

many, many more, this one feels like peeling the layers from an onion...

Pushing against the tide to reconcile.... aka :deadhorse:

Ah, I see what you mean.

Not being able to enjoy downtime to physically heal - I start to feel unproductive or useless and then I push myself more to prove I can still do it.

I know, I need to learn how to rest when I am not in control :P
I think if it wasn't for these projects and my deadline, I would be a lot more easy going about this.

Even though I am patient, sometimes I try to take on more tasks to try to get things happening faster. Usually it ends up setting me back

I can be shy.

I like to stay up later than I should.

I like to eat way to much chocolate.

I'm hard on myself.

I find it hard to let go of feelings, good or bad.

I sometimes take things personally, when I don't need to.

I can relate to all of that - this week specifically, the chocolate.

You should see the giant bag of Mini Eggs that I've been plowing through this week. It's ridiculous.

A friend just bought this three foot box of Cadbury chocolate biscuits and said I could have half, I'm waaay more excited than I should be lol.

I'm judgmental

My timing is horrid

I become bored with everything very quickly

I'm unable to communicate with others

I never learn my lesson

Where to begin...I struggled with an eating disorder for so many years and that in itself I don't consider a fault, but...the root cause of the illness remains. There is the passive-aggressiveness. I used starving myself as a weapon against my mother, but kept the anger to myself. I still can barely tolerate confrontation and would rather subtlety show people how I feel than communicate. Another flaw (which is related to the first) is lack of trust. I'm strangely torn between an almost giddy, overwhelming love for humanity in general and not really trusting any individuals except my kids. I'm very cynical which I partially attribute to growing up poor in the middle of Manhattan and experiencing a lifetime of betrayals and disappointments that I held on to for way too long. I never felt safe...what it takes to feel safe I still don't know, but I was always fighting this looming feeling of danger. I still struggle with that even though Boise, ID is far from scary. I'm quite paranoid about being hurt or used or tricked. Lack of trust led me to believe that life is a hustle. In other words, I have been somewhat of a user in the past. I've been very fake. I've pretended to love and like when I knew I didn't. I've blended in and allied myself with people I secretly despised all to gain the thing I thought I could not provide myself with...security. This went on until the day I couldn't stand it anymore and wondered what kind of person am I to do this? After I berated myself for awhile I realized that I made misguided decisions because I thought I was fighting for my life and I was trying to escape a past which was very painful and traumatic. I was wrong.... however many good things came from my mistakes. Then I thought it's never too late to change. So long as you have a breath in your body anyone can change at least in their heart and spirit. You can't redeem yourself with everyone, but you can forgive yourself. So slowly I'm easing my grip and learning to live in the present rather than the past. That's the only way to rid myself of the most debilitating flaws I have.

Hard headed.
Judgemental
I speak very directly. It rubs some people the wrong way.
High standards for myself and others sometimes too high .

~if you push me too much ~ I'll push back as I walk away ~
~ don't tell me I need something I don't ~ I'll tell u what u want to hear so u will shut the hell up ~
~ I like to flirt and when I get your attention I walk away ~
~ I get too quiet when I should be saying what I'm thinking ~then it's too late ~
~ no matter where the hurt comes from ~ I put a wall up ~ till I have it figured out ~
~ if you bring to the point of tears ~ I run ~

I elaborate too much

when I'm angry I can get apathetic to the needs of others, or
I expect everyone I come into contact with to know what I'm going through without having told them

I don't really know how to handle criticism

I tend to speak figuratively, so I can be hard to understand

A friend bought me a worst case scenario book, I suppose trying to tell me something lol

I rely on others to figure out who I am/rely on labels

I always tend to see the darker side of life

I don't like to ask for affection when I need it

I set a very high bar for myself and then expect others to leap it with me. I know it's unfair, but I find I'm not willing to lower it.

If, for some reason, any reason, I've perceived someone as ignorant, dumb in a way that indicates they have no desire for continued growth, I tend to summarily dismiss them. I cannot stomach that.

I eat way too much chocolate.

It's weird - my gf arrives in two days for our longest visit ever (2.5 weeks, which will include Meeting the Parents), and a friend's very recent and awful breakup has me obsessing this evening about my faults that are going to make my gf crazy once she finally admits that I'm not perfect:

~ I am a terrible procrastinator, not about everything but about many very key things
~ I am extremely skilled at practicing avoidance with things that I really really need to do, but just don't want to - and if I'm embarrassed that I put it off so long, I'll avoid it even more.
~ Neatness, especially with regard to things like paperwork, is a skill that I put up there with walking on high wires: Clearly some people are capable of it, but I can't fathom how I ever could be, it just seems so impossible.
~ Oversharing and not knowing when to shut up: I never use just 50 words if I can manage to fit in 500
~ Major issues with Imposter Syndrome in my professional life
~ I have ADD which is a little out of control and contributes heavily to a lot of these
~ Somewhat of an addiction to being online, which is something I really do want to address

Um ...