my mother's pit bull is 4 months old now....all gangly legs and big head....she doesnt realize shes as big as she is....she looks like a young great dane! Anyhow....she doesnt like to come inside..she LOVES being in the yard...so I was calling her to come in....and in the meantime let the other dogs in...when i opened the door again to let her in, she BOLTED from the holly bush that is her "den" to the shed about 25 ft away...the way she did it was like she thought she was hiding from me....like shes still small enough to hide...i had to laugh....i closed the door and let her stay out....its still making me smile :)

Well it didn't happen today but.....

When my grandson, yeh the one in my gallery pics, sings Old McDonald's Farm...

E, I, E, I, O... nope. It's more like A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y!! :blink:

I think the lil guy has his songs mixed up... :lol2:

my missus's brother, he drinks tea when everyone else is drinking wine, maybe thats why he has the 6 pack and i dont, lol! here we are hanging out this afternoon......................http://http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/...wedding069.jpg

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
"I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says.
He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says.
‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."
The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."

have to agree Zoey is completely underrated. the clip was funny

the other night Dixie and I were doing our usual nightly texting when suddenly


Dixie: Sooo i see you're paying the sluts again
Me: :|
Dixie: PLAYING the SLOTS!! OMG!!
me :cracked: :rofl:

last night, this cracked me up..

my 5 yrs old started asking me about when 'he was in my tummy'.. he wanted to know if he made my tummy wiggle and poke out and such... so I'm describing to him how it felt and what it looked like in kiddo terms, and we are totally cracking up about it..

all of the sudden he gets serious and says, "momma... did I drink milk?" and stares at my boobs.

uhhhh. I answered and then lmao'd. oooohh, the questions from the mouths of babes.

TGIF GIF Party!
 

Via Jezebel: Celebrate the End of One of the Shittiest Weeks Ever with a Gif Party!

This week was, pardon my French, a piece of fucking merde. The news was so bad that we all became bored with bad news. To make matters worse, this week stretched on and on, like that time you spent an hour making out with the young man who your memory would come to know as Halitosis Guy you were 18 and too polite to say anything. There's good news, though — it must have been crap, but it's over now. Let's gif it out.

click on title to crack up :D

What cracked me up...

the general: why does your drink have two straws in it?
spritz: probably because i ordered a diet drink and you two didn't, so this is the waitress's way of know mine apart from yours.
me: (teasingly toward the general) ohhhhh I thought it was cause mom was supposed to drink from her mouth AND her nose!
the genral: ugh! your gross!

Ahahahahaaaaaa I love messin' with that kid! :superfunny:

TOO MANY THINGS this weekend cracked me up!!!!

a cute little boy wading in the creek, yelling out "OH IT'S WARM HERE! FISH PEE!!" ... I absolutely fell in love with that little guy this weekend! He's the kind of kid that you NEVER want to grow up! He'd come off with so many one liners, I should have written them down! I nicknamed him "blue boy" because every time he was in the water too long, he'd turn blue!! But you had to DRAG him out!

a camping companion to crack jokes with all weekend and hear them say "you're sooooo bad, girl!" every time I cracked a funny and surprised them!

privately cracking jokes with my companion about how I would crush a certain guy's ego if I got his fire going for him when he couldn't... (you had to see and interact with this guy to know what I mean...) needless to say, if it wasn't for me, they would have been eating cold hot dogs!

the sweet young mother who was with that guy calling us "pioneering women" this morning when they saw our raging, blazing firepit... and me yelling back "WE CHEATED! We used a firestarter block wrapped in paper!" ... (her bf had been using wet wood)

This morning, "blue boy" came wading down river and yelled out, very proud "WE CAUGHT A FISH!!"... I asked how big? He held his tiny hands out BIIIIIGGG but quickly moved them back together about the size of a peanut butter sandwich... too cute

His brother came wading up behind him, and I noticed he had a handful of fishing line and was intently watching something in the water... he yelled out "WE CAUGHT A FISH!!" then he pulled out this tiny little brim at the end of his line, he gently placed it back in the water and gave it extra fishing line... We CRACKED UP!!! He was "Walking" his fish like a dog on a leash!!! allowing it plenty of line to swim down stream... I hollered at him "AWWW HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU HAD A HOOK IN YOUR JAW?" ... he responded "we didn't use a hook, we used a weight and thread it through his gills where he doesn't feel a thing." .... POOR FISHIE!!

I laughed so hard this weekend!

lots more laughing ...
 

spending the last 4 hours on the phone, cracking up and sharing stories about the kids in our lives and all the "out of the mouths of babes " things that we fondly recall...
me spending hours on the phone with ANYBODY is rare enough to make me laugh!

What cracked me up today...

daughter: so we took ju to his preschool for openhouse to check out his room and meet his teacher.
me: oh yeh how'd that go?
daughter: omg he was sooooo excited, he squealed!
me: that's sooooo awesome!
julian: boobeh i squealed!! *giggle giggle chuckle laugh*

That kid, I swear, he's gonna leave his mark at that preschool! :superfunny:

Mr. Poodle Pants and Panjo...

Two staff in the back office. One had her pre-teen child with her for the evening.
Mind you, I can only hear this conversation. I was at the computer typing logs...

child: Mom what is this thing?
staff: What thing?
child: This weird brown thing?
mom: Oh hmmmm well it's a penis.
child: OMG whaaaaat??? La la la, I can't hear youuuuuuuuu (assuming fingers in ears)
mom: You asked.
child: What are you people doing with this thing here?
mom: We teach the kids on the streets the proper way to put on a condom.
child: OMG I really don't want to know this from you!
mom: Meet my co-worker!

Ahahahaaaaaa oh the highlight of my evenings :rofl:

I have had my current car for over 6 years and I have taken very good care of her...we are getting to the point where I will be trading her in soon, what with her low miles and pristine body...and today, while at the grocery store parking lot, I just figured out she has a 5-CD changer. Quite honestly I had no idea that this was the case until I had to switch off Spice Radio in the parking lot. In my haste to block my radio porn I pushed a button for my CD changer, and it was only then that I found that I had 4 more CD's I could load. Almost 7 years and 65+ miles I find this out now??? Really? How did I miss that? On the way home from market I immediately loaded the following:

Jimmy Buffett Songs You Know By Heart
Jimmy Buffett A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean
Jimmy Buffett Barometer Soup
Jimmy Buffett Changes in Attitudes Changes In Lattitudes
Jimmy Buffett Coconut Telegraph...

I already had Jimmy Buffett License to Chill but I kicked it out for the above listed 5...

Oh, and BTW, I am fond of Jimmy Buffett...

The show, Miranda.

Thinking that I could simply waltz into my local Whole Foods late afternoon on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. That cracked me up.