I sensed something a misted .......

When she smiled and opened up her long, black trench coat........

Revealing long bare legs, tan, supple...

I just about fainted......

highway, I slowed way down

and phoned the police

Deborah

They arrived on the scene and quickly........

Gathering information from survivors at the scene......

was tedious, time consuming and boring...

Afterwards they headed across the street for a beer..............

and ran into Santa coming.........

the other way at a rate of knots, weilding a gun.

"Santa, what on earth..."

would Mrs. Claus say if she could see you now

...waving around that purse pistol like Roy Moore at an election rally?!”

Santa stopped dead in his tracks and....

took a pisser...right there in front of ALL the reindeer..writing his name in the snow.

That which when Elf number one said.....

“Gee, Santa, how many cups of that egg nog did you drink?”

Santa responded with one loud hiccup and started dancing the....

polka with Elf #1. They wobble around while the elf sings a German drinking song.

Santa trips on a yule log, they fall into the decorated snow. The Lord of Misrule scoops up a sleeve full of yellow snow proceeding to................

say "Luke don't believe the lies they are telling you, we are your father" and then...