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hmm dont know what im doing messin around on here today anyway.. have stuff i need to do.. grrr broke my bed wrestling with my dog last night... guess i better fix it befor bedtime.
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Looking forward, wondering what is to come of the future
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I took some kind of relationship assessment thingy a little while ago. I had to answer 100 q's. I finally got my results. Now I'm contemplating them. Kinda interesting, but didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know.
Interdependence...you need someone who reciprocates a strong feeling of attachment to a partner but who also respects and copes well with the fact that you benefit from a reasonable level of physical and psychological space at times. Intimacy...you need someone who believes and acts on the belief that the intimacy of a relationship is sacred. Self-efficacy...you need a partner who is energetic, enthusiastic and has high self-efficacy like you and will support or even participate in your personal and professional interests that feed your sense of identity and accomplishment. Relationship readiness...you need someone who is not looking to be taken care of, but rather who is realistic about the hard work it takes to build and maintain a stable and satisfying relationship. Communication...you need someone who is eager to give, collect and discuss information with you patiently versus communicate with you on superficial levels out of convenience. Conflict resolution...you need a partner who is patient, a “big picture thinker” and can relinquish control and pride to make the best decisions for the good and growth of the relationship. Sexuality...you need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates when it is planned to some extent rather than completely spontaneous. Attitudes toward love...you need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship. Preferred Expressions of Affection...You need someone who can express affection through simple or grand acts of kindness – such as helping you out around the house, running errands for you or doing favors without being asked. This does not mean that you neither like nor need Verbal Communication. Rather, it suggests that you need someone who can show affection in ways other than just verbal expressions such as spontaneous compliments, frequent “I love you’s,” occasional notes for you to find and recognition of your achievements. |
I just finished having a shower and even with how little time it took to finish, I had been doing alot of thinking about My future and where I want it to go. As of right now I am 31 years old and other than having My G.E.D, I don't feel that I have much to show for it. I'm not currently working (though I have a couple of reasons for this right now), I don't have My own place and I'm not as independant as I would like to be. I realize that I am responsible for this however I really came to realize why I lack those things ~ I've been spending most of My adult life sabotaging My own need to be happy.
Having dealt with being constantly teased and tormented as a kid for My weight problems, suffering from depression and panic/anxiety attacks as well as a father who has no problem reminding Me constantly of what is wrong with Me as a person, I simply never thought that I deserved to be happy. I've had people tell Me that I deserve it, however I never really wanted to listen to that ~ until now. I've finally begun to really look into My soul and try to figure out what it is that I want ........ what is going to make Me happy? What are My goals, wants, needs? Where do I see Myself in 5 years? 10 years? This new found knowledge, and sense of empowerment, is really beginning to change My way of thinking. I can see a very bright future for Myself, as long as I stick to going after what I want then I will succeed in being happy :-) |
I just remembered that on Friday I have to work a 15hr shift. Oh, and we have a staff meeting at 4pm on Friday also. Yay...not.
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Whether or not I'm going to be able to hand my assignment in today or whether it will be tomorrow.
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so much on my mind...
wondering why I wasn't answered...
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were headed into a few weeks of 100+ days then i cant wait for it to settle into the 80s.. it will be time to go play on the river!!! :beachkids:
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Wondering if I got into a fight in my sleep. I woke up from a nap earlier, showered, then before I got dressed I noticed that I have multiple bruises and scratches on my arm, leg and chest. wtf??
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Thinking thoughts I dont want to think. Feelings I try to stifle and tonight I cant.:sigh:
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On My mind is:
~ What the results of My blood tests may be ~ Whether or not My T doses will be able to be increased ~ If in two weeks time I will have an appointment with the surgeon for top surgery |
Keyboard imprints on my face, if I take a quick nap right here-----* Right now
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Five, six, seven, eight...
Again: step, kick, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch. Right. That connects with turn, turn, out, in, touch, step, step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch. Got it? Going on. . . Turn, turn, touch, down, back step, pivot step, walk, walk, walk. . . |
All the things I SHOULD be doing today....
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job prospects......lots of interest but no offer yet ..
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Whining and complaining, are these really suitable forms of mating call?
As for me, I am most often drawn to strong, independent people with a notable sense of self-awareness, so it's very difficult for me to see how the opposite could be even remotely attractive. |
met someone .. liking each other a lot..
but on my mind......... getting hurt again... getting hopes up to high. |
The fact that I apparently hurt the feelings of someone I consider a friend, and that they now question my motives for our friendship. This bothers me, because they are an awesome person whom I genuinely care about and respect highly. This makes me sad. :(
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