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After getting my nest made to watch the Cowboys, I threw the foot of the recliner up, Skip crawled up on my lap, I covered us up and then said DAMN Skip where's Daddy's glasses. I was ticked off I had everthing like I wanted it and didn't have my glasses.
No problem I can make the words on the screen bigger. I turned on my tablet, chuckles...get ready for this, raised the tablet up to read and saw my glasses sitting on top of my head in my reflection in the tablet. SMH and LMAO |
Mom!
She called to check my pulse, she always says that.
Mom: Did you have lab today? Me: no Mom that's tomorrow. Mom: I got my oil changed today, I know, I'm such a baller. Lmao she's 81 |
This:
http://cdn0.dailydot.com/uploaded/im...13/dogbutt.jpg The new must-have accessory for your pet's butthole. http://www.dailydot.com/lol/rear-gear-dog-butt-covers/ |
Late night nose taps accompanied by "Boop!"
Had me laughing so hard my cheeks hurt and I couldn't breathe |
Taking the Dogs out just a few min ago and the Whippet launches her self off of the deck and clears the back of the Sheppard:blink: you should have seem the look on the Sheppard's face she was like what the hell just happened I swear I almost cried I was laughing so hard
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The play-by-play text messages
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Lard!
Everything that we don't like has lard in it! Lol |
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Kindergarten boy just grabs the prettiest girl in class & kisses her right on the lips. Even funnier was me trying to keep a straight face and be the adult! I just said, "Look, I know she's pretty but you can't do that at school!" Lol
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me, but I've sworn myself to secrecy not to talk about it to anyone but myself.
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My daughter blowing bubbles and our dog trying to jump up and bite them. Lol
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So I was lawn mowing.. and 3 squirrels we're trying to retrieve their nuts they buried.
So they run on every pass I made. And got to barking at me because I'm out on their yard! One even stood there barking at the mower. |
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Asking a question and it being playfully avoided...
In the end, it all got turned around and I ended up answering the question before the person that was originally asked...LOL really need to stop giving into the pout |
My cousin's girlfriend sending me a request on Facebook to like her sex shop business in Europe. Lol Um, no, I don't think so. Can't wait to tell my mom! :giggle: (Not that I'm opposed to them, just not gonna advertise it!)
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https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/92/233...f7cd1de65e.jpg
You'd have to know to understand... But still. Heheh! |
This ad for Domino's Sriracha pizza in Israel...the tongue has a ballgag.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/...hnmrtjhogc.jpg http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/domin...myspiritguide1 |
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A picture sent from Disney
I don't know who was more excited to be there The Christmas Elf or her Mom, I haven't seen JH in any of the pictures, He must be the photographer. Picture of The Elf and Mickey Mouse and LTB at some kind of breakfast with Mickey thing. They were both smiling so big. I think if The Elf smiled any bigger her teeth would fall out. Can't wait until they go to the "Prince Castle" and until she see's all of the "Frozen" characters. OMG she will be rotten. |
This morning... Upon realizing that GB was absolutely right... I laughed my ass off.
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My Sisiter!
My sister married this douche years ago and it took forever to get a divorce, he just wouldn't sign.
Yesterday we were talking and the subject came up about him. Me: why did you marry him anyway? Her: well, you know, he was like a moped, really fun to ride but you wouldn't want anyone to see you on it. Lmao! |
My lil mama....shes always telling me my weather forecast. Her phone has an app. Its just so damn cute that my mom uses apps.... :)
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This little guy...
:giggle: |
I am laying in bed and Juliet the kitty girl is done asleep on the bottom corner... Well all of a sudden she rolls and falls off the bed I sat up quick to be sure she was ok already starting to giggle and she looks at me as if to say I ment to do that... Then stomped off ... I lost it lol
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The guy demonstrating non-stick cookware on QVC right now just burned the living daylights out of the chicken he was cooking!
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What Cracked You Up Today?
We were talking about the crazy things customers say and do in the retail grocery business.
One of the managers was reminiscing about the middle aged lady who came in one day complaining. Customer loudly: This is tuna is terrible! Manager not really looking responds: What's wrong with it? Customer even louder: Why do you sell such terrible tuna? This is the worst tuna I've ever had!! You should stop carrying it. Manager finally looks up at the customer and looks at the can, takes it from her hand and says: Ma'am this is the worst tuna you've ever had because this is tuna for Cats. It says so right on the label. Customer flustered...says well I want a refund and walks off to continue her shopping. |
I ordered wings for dinner, and when I saw the receipt, with my phone number and name in ex-large font, my jaw dropped and my eyes got so wide. How did this happen??? I have just a slight idea, lol. It was my first name alright, but it was his last name. What a sight...I busted out laughing.
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Gemme's youtube video of worst Family Feud answers...
Holystupidity Batman.... I will never eat hamster eggs either! |
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You like that?
Try this one! |
Mom...I felt noiseyated this morning, but I'm better now.
"noiseyated" What the hell is noiseyated? That's the way she says it. Chuckles, as a southern woman how does she get nois sound out of naus? I must have repeated that word 30 times on the way home and after I got home. Thinking of every way to use it with every sentence. It just struck me funny. |
The GF and I were watching House of Cards (again) tonight,
Probably for the 10th time, I commented on Robin Wright's fantastic legs peeking out of her pencil skirts. My GF, who never says stuff like this replied: "Ok, I think we have already established that we'd both like to fuck Robin Wright". Uh, yes. |
Last night at work watching a couple students sledding on what looked like trays from the dining hall down a hill on south campus .. then one took a header off the makeshift sled right into a snow bank oh the little things :sunglass:
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Whilst assembling a lego set...
"I had a man between my legs, where'd he go?!" Cue snicker, giggle, pause, giggle giggle, pause, giggle.. :jester: |
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I can't help it if the little Lego guy went cliff diving off my table onto my legs! |
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