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A guy on the checkout at the discount supermarket.
I'd bought a large jar of Colman's English Mustard, w/collectors label, and decided to get the other items I wanted at the other supermarket across the road. Going through the checkout the dude asked in the most deadpan manner "...and is this the extent of your weekly shop this week Sir?" Not exactly funny but cracked me up :jester: |
Oh it was Mom again
Mom I sent your Dad to Hardee's and told him to get us 2 #8's and a small drink. When he came back and handed her the bag, she said this isn't a Hardee's bag. He said, It ain't? She said no it isn't, it says Taco Bell. |
Hiking along the trail at the Falls today and there were parts that were a sheet of ice .. I did really good for the most part till my feet just went out from under me and bam I went sprawling cracked my self up and was very glad NO ONE saw it :blush:
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My friends when I see them. So ones that are popping out to me are how one of them said at the sight of fighter jets due to Drill Weekend:
"They should land and **** me!" my response? "I was thinking the same thing." *insert horrible attempt at a high five* & this gem: "Wow, that is a deep filing cabinet!" "That's what she said!" Yes We joke around like teenage boys. It is entertaining :) |
Saw Carlos Mencia last night.. him plus his two opening acts has me laughing so, so hard.
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and this is how you poke somebody :koolaid:
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My new, sweet, rescued, short-legged pup....how he is my shadow and velcro dog...and his comical nature...and THOSE FUNNY EARS!!
then my darling luv bug, adorable smooch pooch WooBear...how he drives me batty that he loves to drag his belly thru the dirt and "waller" in the leaves and mud. a big mud puppy! 3 of the 4 dogs got their first spring bath tonight....little Skippy cracks me up when he does the doggy paddle in mid air before he gets to the tub. |
...oh only that I was heating the kettle.... and turned on the empty burner and melted a plastic dish ...
lmao |
A few things.................
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Twas the other day...and I had to laugh on the inside..
My brother took in a stray cat. He told me he felt bad because the cat's eye was watering...and he was worried it would freeze in the cold... I guffawed on the INSIDE...my poor brother. I did hit him pretty hard in the head with a snowball...a time or two... |
Cracked up
My kitty loves to "help" me change the bed sheets. She is a real comedian and I ended up laughing at her for all the silliness,
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My manager....
I had a meeting at work today. I walked in and immediately asked where her dog was...I loveee him! I said very loudly "where's my love muffin??!!" (He usually comes to that...lol) and my scheduling manager walked in from the other room and said "I'm right here..." all sultry n shit lol I heart my job... |
I unpacked my French press and was reading the warnings..
One said "children and hot liquids should be kept apart". I just thought the wording was odd...lol |
A local news channel...
They did the weather...its all pretty hokey...bad graphics etc. For tonorrow it says "pretty nice" then 2 days of "heavy rain" then after the rain it will e "finally nice". It struck me funny...and I was happy for the giggle.. |
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http://ghk.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/11/...hanger-lgn.jpg |
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Omg I think about that alllll the time. I also think in future there will be warnings on bathroom cleaners for people who clean their showers while they're showering. Yeah. That will totally be all.me lol |
Stupid smart phone. While texting with Mom, I was responding using the voice thing because I was eating. I was telling her what I had picked up at the yard sale. I said "yes an umbrella...but nothing came up on my screen. So again I said a big umbrella, umbrella. I looked at the screen and it said umbrella bella big ass. I was like what the heck? I laughed til I hurt.
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OK, this actually happened yesterday.
I'm trying to use up all the odds and ends in the pantry before I move. I had this bag of rice. You know the boil in the bag kind. It was the last bag, so I do remember cutting the directions off the box and taping it to the bag. Boil 1 1/2 cups of boiling water, add rice, turn down heat, cover, for 10 min. Ok, so I go back to check rice, poke at it with a fork. Hmmm, the rice in the bag, is acting like uncooked rice. Hard, making that rice rubbing sound. So I go pull the cut out directions from the trash. It says, add rice. Umm, apparently it's not a boil in the bag kind! |
Today I heard from a woman that I've " been talking to" for a couple months... she cracks me up with how fast she wants us to move, and her lack of tact (being very descriptive about the kind of sex she would like to have with me), and how she pushes those boundaries I put up during our first date of FRIENDS ONLY...then in the next breath she said she had gotten so drunk that she had to call another female friend over to help put together an entertainment center, but instead took this friend to bed. I enjoy talking to her most times but other times she cracks me up.
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I was gone from the house almost all day Saturday ...but once I had to return to pick something up then head to the Salon...when I drove up the long drive lane, past the large chicken hutch that's surrounded by a 40'x10' x6'high chain link fence, I found 2 VERY FAT squirrels in there stealing from the chickens!!
When I got out of the vehicle and fussed, they went crazy trying to find their way out, running up the fence and hitting their heads on the plastic "cherry tree netting" that covers the roof, and eventually pushed their way thru holes in the netting. These are the same fat squirrels that I had caught stealing from a little hen that I have in a small fence to recover from a leg injury. Another thing that cracks me up is all the chickens were oblivious to the squirrels... but they will try to flog the tiny wild sparrows that like to share their corn. |
My Momma cracked me up. The other day she mentioned that she wanted to start exercising more, but didn't want to go walking by herself or with my dad because she couldn't keep up with him (he walks super fast). This weekend I bought an exercise video for her and took it over after work today. I stuck around and did the video with her, and y'all, she was working it! She was shaking that booty something fierce...lol. We had fun, and I am going to start going over there to do the video with her as often as I can. :)
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The baby goats LOVE Cheerios!! It was toooo funny to see them curious about what was in my hands, how they would stretch their little necks, nuzzle my hand...and when I put the honey nut Cheerios in their bowl...they used their soft tender lips to pick them up one at a time..quickly discovering they LOVE Cheerios with their fresh banana.
It cracks me up how curious and smart they are. |
The forwarded emails I received. Dangerously laughing it's going to cause a gut rupture.
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The things I read around here!
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The forums here and people who seem to can't make up their minds about their profiles!
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I was looking through Netflix for stuff to watch and it suggested Portlandia...
Omg...how have I never seen this show before?? It's friggin hilarious! |
My dog made me laugh when jumped in the air càuse she just had a bath
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One of the baby eagles we have been watching for the last 3 months, flew off yesterday - out of necessity rather than choice. He had fallen off a branch on Saturday and spent 24 hungry and frustrating hours on a branch below the nest. Reports from the ground are saying he is doing well, working on his flying skills, and meeting the neighboring blue jays and hawks that have a hazing thing going on. Tho he is flying well, his landings leave a lot to be desired: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...69c528314a.jpg If he makes it back to the nest, he will be pleased to know his still nesting sibling is leaving half eaten rodents for him to munch on. |
Watching a gentleman beat out a meter reader giving him a ticket. Score one for the team. Haha As we toasted his miraculous feat! :tea:
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Being informed that beating a meter reader is a federal crime.
Beat out a meter reader- The art of rushing to the meter to feed it change before the meter reader can print out a ticket. :goodluck: Ice cream anyone? My treat. |
This adorable little girl is giving it all she has GOT. :superfunny:
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EGOISTE - laughing for days
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I went to go see "A Midsummer's Night Dream".
The production was interactive with the audience and very fun. VERY traditional. So very Asheville :) I may have hurt something from laughing so much! |
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That was supposed to be NON traditional. Some of the actors wore sequins and cutoffs... No more posting when I'm tired! I also forgot the 's Night's dream...too late to edit. My inner school marm is going cray cray...meh |
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LOL! Her choreography is way better than the actual stuff too! |
BEIJING (AP) — Rules making it easier to file lawsuits in China have led to a new concern over frivolous claims, such as one in which a man says actress Zhao Wei stared at him too intensely through his TV set.
Stare |
Having a conversation, recapping our day. He says, I'm so sore. I ask why. Apparently he was up and down the later most of the day. Hmmm, so what were you working on? We're you taking things up and down the ladder. He says, no I was doing floor work.
What? floor work ? I thought you said you were on the ladder? I was, just checking to see if you were listening to me. Ha ha! On to next subject, after we laughed. I have the day off, if you need me to come pick you up, I'll take you to your appointment. He says, sure, you can drive around Mr Lazy. Ok, I tel, you what, I'll pull up in the front, get out, walk into the lobby. I'll be the one holding the card that's says..pick up, Mr. Lazy! How is that funny guy? We had our share of laughs this morning! |
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