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Brutus and Lil Guy are continuing to deal with a deteriorating nest. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...27d5b21d68.jpg https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...10c4a9f4f2.jpg Brutus is doing well, tho he flies to the parents resting spot often to express his dismay with their menu selection. Both eaglets have taken to flinging uneaten amoured catfish over the side of the nest. Lil Guy is 3 months old today and still keeping us waiting for his first flight. Most first flights are "oopies" rather than deliberate - a broken twig or branch, a misstep and flying it is. In the meantime, he seems intent on dismantling the elastic straps holding the camera wires in place. He has torn two off thus far. |
Where to begin....
So I've had this same job for almost a year and a half. Started out great....slowly declined into not so great. I realized some time ago I was ready for a change. I just needed to find a good job that fit my skills and helped me along on my path. So I did. Now, my job that stressed me out is in the past and I'm feeling all kinds of anxiety about letting go. Seriously. What's that about? I've always been an excellent letter goer. I don't dawdle I DO. I don't get why this is causing me so much angst. Unless it's going from familiar to not familiar. But... I moved 800 miles away on my own to a new state, a new life really. I'm so not this girl who lives in the past and dwells on regrets...so... I just don't get it. I guess it's just a matter of time. But I just feel so very sad...my heart almost hurts. |
My mind
Two things;
First my kitty is not getting better with me throwing meds at her and then going to work everyday so I stayed home today to make sure she gets food and water even if I have to force it into her mouth. Next a woman at work complains about me talking to project partners and coworkers everytime she is in a bad mood. I talk to people about business not personal stuff so it is not like I am sitting around chit-chating all day. I feel like she is targeting me and that is a form of bullying. So I am going to report her to HR. This makes me so angry. |
My boss came in yesterday...shocker! I was there. She seems to stop by when I'm not, and then proceeds to throw me under the bus to my managers.
Anyways, she needs me..lol. Her boss will be in town next week. She actually let me give my input. And ....wait for it.... It worked! It's always been her way. Which isn't always the best choice. Not holding my breath, this can flip on a dime! |
Making sure I have all my ducks in a row before I head out to travel this afternoon.
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South Carolina!!!
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My neck issues......................:blink:.
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My Dad...
I woke remembering a dream from last night. We were standing just inside the open garage door, looking at the night sky. I saw three shooting stars........... Making me smile this morning. |
On my mind
My kitty, the vet pulled a hail Mary this morning if it works we are good if not things will be very bad. I am pouring all my hopes into my kitty for a full recovery.
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(I work doing hospice care for cats, so I REALLY think i understand) |
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Thank you for caring about me and my kitty. Chad |
Brutus and Lil Guy are continuing to work around the limitations of a nest that is now a 4th of the size it should be, with more falling away daily. Lil Guy is gearing up to fly, branching out farther and farther, flying from branch to branch but he hasnt taken the plunge yet. He has had a couple of almost "oopsies" tho thanks to his older sibling. There was a pushing episode at the end of a branch and a butt wiggle in the nest bed that almost knocked him off. And a couple of times winds gusts caught him by surprise when his wings were fully extended. Poor Dad tried a food drop off this morning. At this age, it is safer for the parent to drop food than to deliver food, even in an intact nest. The kids know a parent means potential food and are jockeying for position, in their mantling poses - draping their 6 foot wing spans like cloaks to block and secure an area. Parents are at risk if they try to bring food directly into the nest, so they tend to hover and drop. Not sure if Dad himself fell thru a hole in the bottom of the nest or if he just dropped the fish thru the hole. But, you could see him thru the hole searching for the dang fish while dodging falling nest material, courtesy of his children flapping, jumping, and squeeing at the top of their lungs. He never attempted another flyby, so I'm gathering he didnt find it. Was looking at pics from the horrid sibling rivalry stage when Lil Guy was struggling to get enough food to survive. Had forgotten the size difference, hence the reason I call him Lil Guy. This was them about 6 weeks ago. Big difference for hatching just 1 day apart: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...a86f230306.jpg This is them this morning (Lil Guy is the one with his back to the cam): https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...c2f9f8fd13.jpg Amazing and nerve wracking. :) |
On my mind...
Her.....how I miss her
Us.........knowing she misses me as much Work.......a lot going on there |
being grateful for having 2 amazing daughters is what's on my mind
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Death
PRINCE My oldest and dearest friend, Found already gone when her partner awoke that morning. My friend's dad. Taken off life support last week. My loving and faithful companion of 13 years. I'm doing all I can, Dr's too but it doesn't look good. This has been a very taxing few weeks...I'm all cried out...mostly. Prayers welcome |
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Consider prayers sent...and hugs too... |
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that life has never been the same. Family spread out all over the place. I can't be everywhere at once, but I'm trying. I am getting too old for this!
That one day, one storm, one horrific twist of mother nature can really turn your world upside down, never to be the same again, ever. |
Lil Guy finally fledged today. He made it to the tree across the way and back to the nest tree. People were commenting on how he made a less than spectacular return, landing under the nest in a heap. Knowing Lil Guy, that landing wasnt an accident. He knows Dad dropped 2 fish under there. He is still looking for them. :) https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...3e63ce8c74.jpg |
My inability to forgive and forget when someone betrays me. I'm trying to work on not holding a grudge. After five months my former best friend wants us to work things out. She reminded me that my spouse's health is declining (as if I don't know this) and life is too short to hold grudges, and she wants to help me with her, etc etc. I really have to think hard on this.......:praying:
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Blessings:bunchflowers: |
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If I am being brutally honest, and not knowing anything from Adam about the details, but from what you said....that sounds like emotional manipulation. A friend doesn't need to state the obvious. If she is ready and willing to help you with your spouse, from the goodness of her heart or some sense of regret or responsibility for what happened those months ago, good. If it's something designed to twist you up even more and manipulate things, then not so good. Keep your options open and be willing to accept help (Being a caretaker is hard, so any help is a good thing, right?) but keep your eyes open and your head crystal clear. I don't think it's unreasonable to say, "Hey, what happened was hurtful and I don't want to repeat it" and "I will take you at your word at this moment but you have to prove to me that I can trust you; show me you are worthy of my trust". Or whatever feels right to you. I remember when you wrote about this before and it seemed that it really, really hurt you. Do not deny that hurt but don't let it close you off to the possibility of a genuine reconciliation either. |
Thanks to both of you for your support. I know it's probably in my best interest to just forgive her and try to work on re-building our friendship. She is really trying hard to make things right, we have been friends a long time, and neither of us is getting any younger....... A lot of people my spouse and I know have either died recently or become disabled, and I'm telling myself that life is too short and something could happen and I may not have another chance to forgive and move on. I guess if things are meant to work out, then they will? At least we are able to sit down and talk now, that's a start.
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My goofball, klutzy, "if anything can happen, it will happen to me" best friend. Who spent a big part of the day in Urgi-care.
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My girlfriend mainly along with a jumble of 100 million other things.
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There are a lot of things on my mind...
... ONE... it's moving day... and this is the most anxiety inducing move I have have ever had... I am moving OUT of my house... and my parents are moving IN... my son will be staying here... My parents are going to keep him for the next two years while I finish school... because full time work, full time school, and full time autism mom... leads to mental breakdowns... ... TWO... I just ended another relationship... and its left me wondering... how I attract so many of the same type of person... I am questioning a lot because of this... ... THREE... I need to spend more time with my daughter. Shes such an amazing young woman, and before I know it shes going to be grown and gone... so much of my time goes to my son... I am missing out on her! |
A very special, unique Femme....day and night, night and day...
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~
:rrose:
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HAPPY MOTHERS DAY , JENN |
Nothing right now. I am trying to live in the moment.
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Wondering if I will be able to work next week...I'm doubting it, but you know I will try.
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here it is. 6 years ago I left a job (took a buy out) because for the prior three years I had a supervisor that was unethical and I didn't keep my mouth shut about it. Well, you can guess who management protected: the EAP counselor (unrepresented) or the Manager of the Dept. when the buyout came I took it and luckily enough got the job I have now and love.
Time moves on...about 3 weeks ago I noticed that he viewed me on Linkedin. Today I get this scathing email (he had to go to my school's site to find my school email because the only contact info on there is an aol account, and then went into rate my professor. He left a horrible email that was filled with rage and some glee because of course students who post on Rate My Professor are usually anger at the professor and it is like a negative yelp I am not breaking confidentiality or even what the agency was but this is the email: Enjoyed reading the critiques of your performance by your students!They seem wise to you. As an working for me, I nailed you for constantly for using your cell phone during staff and clinical meetings and conducting personal business. I saw you as rude and self important. You could come up with clinical labels for a client but offer nothing of substance or usefulness in terms of interventions or case management techniques. Your case management was shoddy . And you never "implemented" anything. I heard you got the job because you were somebody's friend. it was reflected in your work standands and efforts. Really, you should be embarassed! But, of course now you teach,role model and use it as an opportunity to torture your students who are stuck with you as were your clients. Made4 sense why you enjoyed Robert's comraderie. Birds of a feather... This is not true but I wonder what more this guy is going to do. It has been 6 years since I left there and never made contact with him again and hardly with anyone in the agency. He went to a lot of trouble to do this. I wonder if I should be concerned. Will he go to my job? He obviously now knows where I work and what my contact info is. Trying not to catastrophize this but it is weighing on me a little. Any suggestions? Thanks, I am trying to wind up the semester and it has been a stressful one so I don't need this. PP |
Do I have everything ready for work on Monday amongst a jumble of other stuff as usual.
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sitting on the beach, with my feet in the waves, relaxing to the sounds of the sea.
I'd say, hurry up Sunday afternoon, but somehow, sleeping in and being under the covers is on my mind too!! |
Sigh. Brutus and Lil Guy were knocked off the nest tree in the wee hours of Saturday morning by an owl. It is rare for an owl to attack a grown eagle. They usually target unguarded eggs and chicks in an eagles nest and have been known to tango with incubating parents. The brouhaha brought the parents roosting nearby to the nest tree. Brutus is fine tho a lil skiddish. Never left the tree all day. And was calling out frequently. Lil Guy has not been seen since 3:30 am Saturday. Ground crews searched the area from dawn to dusk without success. At least they didnt find any eagle remnants which is a hopeful sign. Parents have kept a visible presence in the area and spent the night in the nest tree. All have been calling out but there has been no response. One can only hope Lil Guy is somewhere nearby, unhurt, and either laying low or just unable to get his bearings after being thrown into the night. He has proven himself to be one tough survivor. I'm hoping he will show up this mornin, squeeing for breakfast. |
So I have been doing a lot of writing lately... I find it quite therapeutic to write when I can't sleep...
This is a little tidbit of what I wrote during a moment of insomnia recently. It's all about being unique, which to me is so important. When people remember you in the future, they won't remember you for how well you blended in; they are going to think about your quirks. So be brave in your quirkiness and stick out like a sore thumb. The people who try to hammer those quirks out of you are the ones who feel inadequate because they've spent their lives trying to blend in. They might convince you that you need to change those idiosyncrasies. But when God made you, that splash of red or flourish of pink or stubbly texture on the canvas looked good to Him. The works of art that the world remembers now are the ones that endured scorn in their time because they were extraordinarily different. |
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There are news reports out of North Fort Meyers that a woman found an eaglet in the vicinity of the nest area that was obviously injured. She was saying it appeared to have a broken leg and one talon hanging by tendons. Florida Fish and Wildlife came out to investigate, but the bird was scared into the woods and flew away. FWC couldn't confirm any injuries. They said if the bird turns up injured, they'll try to recapture it and get it to a rehab facility. There are a lot of eagles and eaglets in this area. It is impossible to tell if this is Lil Guy until it is found. |
My stepson coming over this morning to see his mom for Mother's Day and telling us that his wife has asked for a divorce.
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Someone finally found the footage of the attack on Lil Guy and Brutus. There is no sound. It appears to show Lil Guy get hit twice. Once from the side which wakes him up and causes him to lose his balance but he remains perched, pissed, vocal, extending his wings and moving. A couple of minutes later, he is hit again from behind, knocking him off the branch. His wings are extended as he falls and his talons are pointing downward and intact. He was introduced to the ground the day before the attack after he fell out of the tree trying to catch a food drop. The ground wouldnt have been a surprise to him. Then again, eagles dont normally fly at night. A few minutes after Lil Guy tumbles, Brutus is spearheaded in the chest, knocking him clear off the tree. It was good to have a visual. These were not talon attacks. These were 3 forceful head butts. The ground crew was on the scene and searching within an hour of the attacks. There have been several reports of injured juveniles being seen in the area the last couple of days. Lots of eagles, eaglets, juveniles, and subadults in the area. Lil Guy hasnt been seen nor heard. But, nothing has been confirmed as of yet. I remain hopeful he is still nearby, unharmed, but maybe traumatized. If he is still nearby and hurt, I am hopeful he will tap into the memory of the people from CROW rescuing him from the nest, treating him, and putting him back. Then maybe, he will not fly away from those trying to help him. |
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Generally speaking, people that bitter and hateful after that long a time are too cowardly to do anything other than send hateful emails or give an ugly review of you. If he does more, then you just need to let everyone know what really happened in a clear, dispassionate way. Most people aren't going to listen to that kind of ranting anyway. I doubt you ever need to do anything, especially after this long. You've been there five or six years now. They know you and your work ethic by now. They're not going to do anything based on heresay from someone who knew you six years ago and obviously has a hate on for you. Don't worry at all. I doubt he does anything public. If he does something and people see you're not worried about it, they won't worry about it either. |
thanks all for the support.
Got my second message to my work/school account. He can't do anything to me, I have tenure and am well respected at the college, ironically enough, I disguarded my files two months ago. I am going to use the Freedom of Information Act to get my employee file from the agency that I worked for. His last message today indicated that he wanted to confront my performance, unhandiness and total lack of integrity but I left before he go do it. As he said "mission accomplished" and then ended it with "now, a nice sunny afternoon to enjoy a walk in the park...." I spoke to my boss at my current job and she stated that since he is harassing me at my work place I need to inform the College which I plan to do tomorrow. I am going to look on thumb drives to see if I have the info. |
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