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There is a huge amount of change I am going to have to absorb in the next few weeks. Just the latest in a long line of change I have had to deal with at my job in the last two years, especially the last year. I am not on the winning side of this change, and that really saddens me and worries me. I just hope I can ride it out and find something new soon. I used to love my job. I have spent the last 9 years as a media relations professional. A media spokesperson. A mouthpiece, as they call it in my field. But now that is changing. I keep trying to tell myself it's a blessing. It is not the change that freaks me out. I am a highly trained crisis communicator. I usually handle change quite well. It's just the feeling I get of being robbed of something I truly love. But this the career path I chose. And I have to deal with it. Sorry if this is obtuse. Just still finding it hard to discuss.
Jake |
Did I mention that I had to drive back to my job at around 1am and am still here working? :|
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whats on my mind is ... cool whatever
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on my mind...
My son started his first day of middle school today...and part of me wanted to snatch him off the school bus and run away with him. Gotta keep telling myself "Let go momma bear, he's growing up". Sigh...I don't have to LIKE it though, right? |
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Now 4th grade she busts out with stuff im like ...where did she pick that up at :O |
I lived poly for a decade.
Monogamy might be killing my sex drive. She'll positively freak-the-fuck-out if I say this out loud. :seesaw: |
Today two people who I do not know invited me to a "tent revival" going on all weekend. I'm wondering if I have that look about me that I need to be saved.
I may go check it out, despite not being religious, to see what all the hub-bub is about. |
bed. I'm tired!
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Starting from this day forward these are the changes I am making.
Standing up for myself no matter who I piss off (no one on this site) become independent again since I am moving I can get confidence in myself let people know I am an adult treat me as one get my ass back in school and finish my degree make amends with my parents grief the death of my grandma and for once do something for myself instead of everyone else |
I hope the a-hole that tried to run me off the road and actually collided with my truck this morning gets a nice ticket in the mail for leaving the scene of an accident. Yes I got his tag after chasing him down and shouting at him to pull over. Dumb ass refused to share insurance info...doubt he has any anyway. Anyway, I called 911, told them it was a non emergency call but that I'd been in a hit and run accident. In less than five minutes a female officer came to take my statement, and wow she looked good in that uniform! Now see I have a Sheriff's tag on the back of my truck and she was a city cop (cops and their families stick together) so I'm guessing there will be a ticket sent to the bung hole that run me off the road. Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whacha gonna do when they come for you? LOL...
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How far i have come ..
a low esteemed girl, who hid and stuffed everything inside and didn't take the time to deal with any of it, to a girl who now not only works on the issues and forgiveness with strength AND confidence, but a girl who no longer hides and truly lives a life of love & happiness ... with building self esteem, an abundance of self worth and gratitude for all the blessings in her life.. ♥ |
I am so tired I can hardly breath. I am wearing myself down again. Doing too much, getting ready for the new season, worrying myself over some things, dealing with a re-occurance of my shoulder injury,trying to get into a program that will help me go back to work...
for most of you, you could do all this on your lunch break and work your 50 hour week. For me, and my limited energy, I am trying to get things done as well as I can. but no complaints. I can still do it, even if it takes alot out of me. I am still DOING... |
Portland.... .... .......
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Little Rock!!.... ...... .......
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My Abuelita and Reunion...Sad and Happy...
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What if.......
*deep sigh* |
Not understanding makes me....frustrated.
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why the hell cant I do better on Mahjong?
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