Pizza Time...
 

Grandson is holding his pizza out and then it flips down except for where he's holding it near the crust...

ju: I don't want this anymore *sad face*
my daughter: Why not?
ju: It's bent. *pout*
daughter: (trying not to laugh) Bent?
ju: It broke and fell down. I can't eat it! *angry face*
daughter: We can get another piece that's not broke.
ju: I think I want cake! *huge smile*

He's priceless... and so are his words!! :rofl:

Watching the guy next to me on the ferry play Bad Piggies. I was rolling :)

The verbal exchange between two store clerks and an ex clerk. The ex clerk had me laughing so freakin bad I just blurted out "You're awesome! I've been having a rough start to my day and you just helped to change that!" :cracked:

Okay so sitting quietly after staff exchange with the other lesbian staff who is coming on shift duty. Both of us are kind of quiet and I was nodding in and out of nappishness (true word)... and didn't realize she was too.

A new kid is on her cell phone and neither of us are totally paying attention to her end of the conversation till we both raise our heads, look at each other and the other staff says,

her: I only got part of that. What did you get?
me: I think I only got part of it too...? :blink:
her: I got the part about she only likes cats. *puzzled look*
me: Well, that explains a lot because the part I got was "Those hetero couples seem to have a thing for dogs."
her: hmmm *closes eyes again*
me: yeh *closes eyes again*

The little lesbian is 18... We later assessed she must like pussy... she likes cats. hee hee :superfunny:

Disclaimer: I know the non-heteros like dogs too. Just laugh with me. It was a ha ha moment damnit!! :rofl:

What cracked me up to day was wondering what my cat was pondering as she so intensely watched me scoop the littler box.

"Damn, I worked so long to bury that."

"Does she keep it?"

"Where did I leave that feather?"

"I wish to hell she'd hurry up already!"

"This explains why I've been going in the same place for years and it never fills up."

Socks!!
 

a quote from a book i'm reading:

“Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth”

:cracked:

Getting ready for work in the dark...
Getting to work and half way through the day, noticing I had to different color tennis shoes as well as socks on. Everyone knows I like odd, I am odd, so no one bothered to say anything to me. Until... The same upper management guy stopped dead in his tracks turned and his face became beat read when I walking around with a pair of dikes wire cutters in my hand. And he said, please, please, please don't say dykes...

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yTKQN9Q1NBo/0.jpg

I was raised around my dad doing electrical work, calling wire cutters "dikes". And decades later, he still loves making puns around that (no point in trying to explain to him that I don't consider myself a dyke).

Me? Cracking up watching Keeping the Faith for the kazillionth time. Certain scenes make me laugh every time. Yeah, I'm a dork.

Upcoming presentations at work and a co worker says to me "this ain't your first time at this goat rodeo".

How can I look those 24 people in the face and not crack up?

:rofl:

Tonight, I was meeting some friends at a restaurant for dinner.
I was walking in behind a couple, not in my group. The female stopped at the door and her male counterpart opened the door for her. Then as I was behind them, he held it for me too. Which put me between him and his date. It was a double door walkway. Now, she's been talking away this whole time, has no clue that I have entered the picture. She steps aside for him to open the next door. But I'm the one behind her. I waited a second and saw that she was going to keep talking while she waited for the door to be opened for her. So I reached around and opened it for her. She sees it's not the arm she expected to see and looked at me with the most startled look. I just smiled and held the door for her. Then he reached over and took the door from me and we both went in.

Maybe you had to be there but I thought it was a riot. Especially when recounting the story to my friends, who were seated next to the door and watched it all happen.

my brain hurts
 

you make me miss having co-workers.....lol