My goofy, silly, adorable pygmy goats cracked me up....
There are two water buckets in their night time enclosure...one 5 gallon bucket and one huge tub made from cutting the bottom off a 55 gallon plastic barrel...

I have let the tub go empty because it's too heavy for me to lift and clean...

This morning as I'm making my rounds to feed everybody, I find my favorite, gentle "baby" (the runt) lounging in the huge tub, completely relaxed with her head laying against the edge as if she were in a hot tub with a drink in one hoof and a cookie in the other. ... She was loving being a spoiled goat!

I passed a plumbing truck while driving home and the name on it was T.P Howards....

I about guffawed at the irony....OK I did guffaw....

Recounting my horrific earth fair happening to my daughter. I was able to laugh since she about died laughing herself...

Here's my story:

I'm very interested in beekeeping. I stopped at a bee booth and was talking to the vendor. I asked why the bees were. All packed in one spot. He explained that he had sugar water for them AND the queen was in a box in the hive but it was sealed by a candied wax.

I had seen on PBS recently about this and got very excited. I said, "ohhh yeah. She's in the box and they have to eat her out!" I was so super proud of my knowledge that I didn't even think about the wordage. :blink:

Where's. A big ol hole in the ground when you really need one?? At least my kid got a good laugh out of it..

This was actually a couple of days ago but I thought it was funny.

I made homemade chili for lunch with cast iron skillet cornbread. I proudly set it on the table and got my elderly parents seated and my father asked what it was. I exclaimed, "Chili!" to which he then responded, "Where are the beans?". I looked in the pot and said, "Oh my God I forgot the beans!" He laughed and said, "Well as they used to say, 'you wouldn't know the beans if the bag was open'" LOL!!

Don't feel bad. One year at thanksgiving dinner my mom forgot the stuffing...another year my cousin was playing with the lock on the stove and locked the biscuits in the oven. It wouldn't open til the oven cooled off and. By then the biscuits were plenty crispy lol


QUOTE=PaPa;1059479]This was actually a couple of days ago but I thought it was funny.

I made homemade chili for lunch with cast iron skillet cornbread. I proudly set it on the table and got my elderly parents seated and my father asked what it was. I exclaimed, "Chili!" to which he then responded, "Where are the beans?". I looked in the pot and said, "Oh my God I forgot the beans!" He laughed and said, "Well as they used to say, 'you wouldn't know the beans if the bag was open'" LOL!![/QUOTE]

Normally I strike out on the weekend days expecting fun excitement something new. Just different stuff....As a rule I'm driving home going well that was anticlimatic..lol

Today I ventured out expecting nothing. Go pick up a huge aquarium, off of Craigslist, for Speedy. WOW what a trip! I would call today climatic.

So that is what cracked me up...I expected nothing and ended up having a climatic day after all.

Reading the Accidents, Mishaps and Injuries During sex Thread. Too funny.

My much loved Aunt's response to my 10am text question...
I tend to forget she lives in another time zone and that she's not a morning person, she worked night shift for 20 years.
When I asked if she was busy? She responded YES....then a few minutes later she sent "Give me a min. I'm still asleep." ....then sent "NO, I meant no I'm not busy. I'm never busy since I retired and my brain still only functions on night shift. I can only get one eye open, the other is still asleep. Best you call instead of text."

I love her to pieces, she always makes time for me...and she has always cracked me up even when I didn't feel like laughing.

Mom came by to visit me today.

When she got ready to leave, she jumped in the car turned the key and the car wouldn't crank. I walked out there and ask her if she had it in park, yes..do you have your foot on the break, yes...hmmm

I told her I'd move the steering wheel and for her to turn the key. Nothing no buzzing nothing.

I happened to glance at her hand on the key. I said Mom does your car key have a white tab on it?(knowing it didn't)..she said NO, and looked at the key and said, that's my dern house key no wonder it wouldn't crank.

I laughed all the way back to the house. She's had the same house key for 22 yrs and the same car key for 13 yrs. I don't know what she was thinking

Watching GloZell videos on YouTube

Squirrel Porn! Never seen it before. Dang if she wasn't rough with him. He finally gave up lol. Poor little guy.

How funny my best friend is...They crack me up when I least expect it.

While skimming over facebook, I realized my Mom had posted some things on FB that were way out of character for her. Later while I was visiting her, I told her I was gonna take her FB priviledges away from her if she continued to post ugly stuff.

She said she hadn't posted anything ugly. I said Mom when you post a picture sometimes it will post everything on the page you lifted it from. So she says right sassy, well what did it say that was so ugly. I said, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING, or WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN....not wtf really the words.

ROFL, her eyes got big and her mouth flew open and on facebook she went looking for her posts. Then of course she didn't know how to get them off, I deleted them for her.

After all the excitement she says I hope my cousin (minister) didn't see that he will be calling you to come check on me...Then she said well actually I hope nobody that knows me saw those posts. DUH...Mom have we ever met before?

Watching the news nust now cracked me up. During the night some thugs broke into a high end jewelry store in Charlotte. They busted the glass out of several cases. This is the same store that insulted my intelligence by offering me $500 for my Rolex. Here is the part that cracks me up...of all the things in a jewelry store to steal that are valuable, they stole Citizen watches and Fossil watches, not gold or gems or Rolex.

I got sick last night and my throat was on fire. Water didn't help. Found some lozenges and as long as I had one in my mouth I was ok. I texted in this morning and stayed in bed all day. About 3 pm I texted my daughter to come snuggle. We snuggled for a while and then I got up. As I passed the mirror I noticed something weird on my front shoulder/side chest area where my daughter layed her head. Upon further inspection it was a lozenge adhered to my dress. She wasn't as amused as I was.

While the three of us were enjoying an awesome homecooked dinner of ham-n-green beans with baby potatoes and other fresh veggies, one of my free range pet chickens tried to let herself in the livingroom by climbing the screen door. It made everyone jump then laugh. Then Mawmaw blurted out "if she keeps that up, we'll just put her in a pot and have extra meat for dinner." :| :|

That poor chicken survived a Racoon attack when she was still a little thing, but she met her match in Mawmaw.
:cluck: :cluck:

Here is one thing that really cracked me up today ....
 

This little carseat preschooler singing a Barry Manilow song. He is too adorable!

https://youtu.be/CnHa52lpSIk

It's a delayed reaction since it was 4am when it happened...

I got up at that hour to go potty. I made a loud noise as I got my robe off its hook. When I got in the hall my girls are standing in the living room immediately to my right and Liz (the youngest) has a broomstick handle in her hands raised like a spear...

I asked her what the hell she was doing and she says "preparing!". Clarissa peeks around the corner and laughs. Apparently they thought I was someone breaking in lol

The way they leave doors unlocked, no one would ever have to break in through a window...:blink:

I moved a chair in my office and found a lifeless baby snake. I picked it up with a Kleenex and took it up front to scare people. There's always one or two in a group that freak out. I was successful and then some. Turns out the snake was playing dead. I released it in the field behind my work.

I get tongue-tied often and seem to excel at stumbling my way through voice messages.

Today I was leaving a voicemail message for someone when a colleague stepped into my office to ask something. As I was leaving the message, I stated that the "patient had presented with shortness of breasts." When I tried to correct myself and say breath, I said breasts again. My buddy started cracking up at me which got me tickled, and I managed to laugh my way through the rest of the message. Unfortunately it was not one where you could re-record your message!

When he returned my call, I apologized for the awkwardness, and we both got a good laugh out of it. :simplelaugh:

Apparently I have breasts on the brain today. :blush:

While returning from my Dr appt this morning, my phone rings
On the other end is my seemingly out of breath and shakeing voice roomie

She says where are you, I said on the way home. What's wrong?
I thought she found one of the animals down or dead.

She says there was a snake beside the AC unit. I was turning on the water and he about scared me to death, he was right beside my foot before I saw him.....I'm still listening.

"I ran in the house and got your gun and shot him and missed him, then shot him again (blowing a hole in the middle of him lol)
Then I thought he was coming after me, so I shot him again and got him in the head.
Then shot him again in the neck . You can see the blue dots. I killed him quicker than I did the other one with the sledge hammer.

I'm like umm well ok I'll be home in a bit.

Whole story cracked me up her first experience with killimg a snake with a pistol. I was just proud of her for not being scared to try it.

.LMAO!!! I didn't know it sounded so funny until I read this! ...in my defense, I missed the first time because I didn't aim correctly...I was more worried that it was too close to my feet, since I had sandals and a dress on...but I made sure I didn't miss the second time.

This is the 4th monster size snake I've killed this year....I don't know which is more funny??.... Me swinging a huge sledgehammer to hit it several times (gotta make sure it's DEAD), at the same time trying to jump backwards to keep from getting bit??.... Or me dressed in an ankle length skirt, trying to handle that big ass pistol like I was Annie Oakley Junior??...
:quickdraw: :quickdraw: :quickdraw:

Practice makes perfect. *laughing


https://i.imgur.com/mfXcPn2.gif?noredirect


My heart grew 2 sizes.

That's too funny! Are your snake killing services for hire? Cuz seeing all that would have me rolling. :superfunny::superfunny:

No mercy for snakes. If you hire me, I won't be wearing sandals next time....instead, I'll wear snake boots under my long skirt. :-P

No sandals? Aw ok.... Still too funny. It's a deal! :D

Cracking up with my roommate today as we were going on a town trip to tour several Restores and a famous, old hardware store.

We are natural at joking and being silly, always having a great time.

But right now, I can't recall what was said that made me laugh so hard my ribs hurt.... Damn I'm getting old! I swear we need a GoPro camera to keep rolling video of our funny crack ups!

the cat finally got fed up and tried to hump the dog...i suspect that may be the end of it.

Cracked me up
 

Actually yesterday. I was getting a hair cut when the song What Is Love by Hiddaway came on and I wanted to jump up grab the stylist by the hand and dance. By the end of the song I had worked out a salon dance sequence in my head. Haha!
https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I

Just another fun day in my head.

:party:

My roommate telling me he will spank me if I mess with his newly baked peach cobbler before we leave for the picnic....

I had to chuckle and remind him that he hasn't spanked me since we met, he ain't gonna do it now ;) ;)

My best friends 3 yr old grand daughter... She got out of the pool came over and sat down in my lap was just talking up a storm.. She looks at me says your hot... We busted out laughing and said what did you say she turned and looked at me said your hot .. Me and her grand mother was rolling I said where in the hell did she learn that shit from... The shit that comes out of kids mouths.😂😂😂

Mom has never bought a boston butt, they went on sale yesterday. So she text me a bit ago telling me she just got home from the grocery store. She didn't get a boston butt because they were all 19-21 pounds. She could hardly pick it up and didn't think it would fit in her crock pot.

A 20 POUND BOSTON BUTT.......REALLY?
I said Mom that was not a butt! They don't come that big. They are normally 7 to 10 pounds. A 20 pound butt would have had to come off of a cow. SMH yeah Ima get her one when I go get mine.

My crazy roommate...
 

"That would make me as dizzy as a one legged duck!"

We have reached the point of summer vacation that my daughter is correcting the grammar on the info packet she got from a theater gig she starts on Monday, and when I flip her off she just gives me the tally of how many times I've done so for the day.

Mom did. We have done nothing but laugh for the last four hours

While trying to scrub the goo from elastic joint tape from my knee, my phone rings. It's Mom, she is hysterical and out of breath. Huffing and puffing she says. "I am in heart attack mode, there is a snake in my house." all in the same breath.

I have to laugh here, because I remember showing a picture of a huge snake that got in my house a few yrs ago to my Aunt and she said if I ever see a snake like that in my house he can have it I'm moving out. ROFL

So anyway went to Mom's never found the snake and came home. I'm sure she will be calling me back.

Me.

Happens often.