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“You can't get unless you give. And you have to give without wanting to get.” -Theodore H. White
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“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.”
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Big mouth don't make a big man.
Wil Andersen - The Cowboys |
~ Please Hear What I'm Not Saying ~
Please Hear What I'm Not Saying Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me. My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing. Beneath lies no complacence. Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope, and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something. But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to. I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me. I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within. So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but what I can't say. I don't like hiding. I don't like playing superficial phony games. I want to stop playing them. I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings-- very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings! With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator-- of the person that is me if you choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic, from my lonely prison, if you choose to. Please choose to. Do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back. It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man often I am irrational. I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet. Charles C. Finn September 1966 |
"The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud." ~ Coco Chanel
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- Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. - - Don Miguel Ruiz - |
i found this on one of my favorite blogs:
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” - William Gibson |
LOVE IT!!!
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she is a friend of mine and fabulous!! |
...For you...
To burn always with this hard, gemlike flame, to maintain this ecstasy, is success in life. ~ Walter Pater |
My diet is going well . . . apart from the chip butties and pizza last night, and the crisps, and the alcohol, and the tube of smarties . . . maybe it's not going as well as I thought :-((
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"This is the kind of Friend You are- Without making me realize my soul's anguished history, You slip into my house at night, And while I am sleeping, You silently carry off all my suffering and sordid past in Your beautiful Hands." — Hafiz of Shiraz http://stylefrizz.com/img/blue-butterfly-tree.jpg |
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." --Carl Jung |
"You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all that you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality." --Florida Scott Maxwell |
"You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate." --Jim Rohn |
Great souls are not those which have less passion and more virtue than common souls, but only those which have greater designs. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
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"Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it." --Hardy D. Jackson |
"By your own soul, learn to live And if men thwart you take no heed. If men hate you have no care. Sing your song, dream your dream, Hope your hope and pray your prayer." --Parkenham Beatty |
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do." -- Robert Bennett |
"I will stop looking back with regrets or looking forward with fear and give the best I have today."
~Anonymous |
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