Tday final....
 

Do These Turkeys Get Any Bigger?

Just before Thanksgiving, a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re not alive any more.”

Ks-

What did Santa say to Mrs. Clause when she asked “how’s the weather?”

Rain, dear.

What do you call an old snowman?

Water
____________________________

How does a Snowman get to work?

By icicle
____________________________

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!

ks-:)

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!

What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.

Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
They are always dropping their needles.

What does Santa put on his toast?
“Jingle Jam”

May we all find a bit of humor!
Ks-

Overdue Corny Pick-up Lines. Singles! Try these lines and if the person you are courting laughs .....is a keeper!


* I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

* Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright, for me.

* Even if there wasn't gravity on this Earth, I'd still fall for you.

* Is you nickname Chapstick? Because you're the balm!

* Do you like Nintendo? Because Wii would look good together.


Okay, Okay maybe not laugh out loud laugh, but a smile. Maybe?

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!

Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays? At a Ho-ho-tel!

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
Santapplause.

ks- :clap:

Cheesy Mouses'
 

Three mice are sitting around drinking and boasting about their strengths.

The first mouse says, “Mouse traps, Ha! I do push ups with the bar!”

The second mouse pulls a pill from his pocket, swallows it, and says with a grin, “D-Con Rat Poison.”

The third mouse finishes his drink, slams his glass on the table and starts to leave. The first mouse says, “Where do you think you’re going?”

The third mouse replies, “Time to go home and chase the cat.”


ks-

Why did the blanket get arrested?

because it looked quilty 😎

Beef! Its what for dinner..
 

What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody’s herd!

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
Roost beef!

What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure


https://www.hayspost.com/2018/01/19/...ts-for-dinner/

Ks-

Friday Funnies!
 

Why did the man tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Joe never wanted to believe that his dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when he got home, all the signs were there.

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Guitar! Guitar who? Guitar coats, it’s cold outside!

TGIF folks :)

ks-

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don't look! I'm going to change.

What did the janitor say when they jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!!!

What do you call a pig who practices karate?

Pork Chop

:flyingpig: