Last night my husband‘s sister passed away. He got the phone call this morning. Time, his mother passed away. My heart hurts for him….

On Your Mind.
 

Dealing with passive aggressive people becomes boring and irritating.

Dim sum is on my mind. I had some earlier today:

- radish cake;
- shrimp wrapped in little crispy strips of spring roll wrapper with a sweet and hot sauce;
- BBQ pork in a bun;
- shrimp and pork dumplings;
- sticky rice (my prizes were a shitake mushroom, a dollop of salted egg yolk and a piece of red Chinese sausage);
- and of course, a pot of Oolong tea.

My dining companion ordered off the regular menu and had a beer. I tried to interest him in the wrapped shrimp and a BBQ pork bun, but he wasn't having it. He was accommodating my desire to go to dim sum, though, so I didn't complain.

It's still on my mind because we had fun and it was delicious. Also, I brought home plenty for a late night snack!

I was just reading over some old posts, and this one made me realize how much I not only miss Dixon, but how much I miss having a butch around to help me with household things. I can do some of them myself, and when I was younger I could do a lot more. But Dixon always took on some of the workload, without complaint, without asking if it needed to be done, without pointing out every single little thing he had accomplished because he wanted praise and gratitude. He just did those things. He was an awesome person and partner. Now every little thing in my house that breaks is a reminder of the person I lost and how much I needed him. I miss him so much.

(Don't even mention the boy. He's not mechanically savvy, and he has to be cajoled into doing anything butch-like. He has to be nagged, and when he does anything at all, even the smallest chore, he thinks he deserves to be praised for it. Don't get me wrong, he has his good points and he helps me a lot. I love him. But he's no substitute for Dixon.)

May I ask, what kind did you buy? and are you pleased with it? I have to buy a new one soon.

What a coincidence - my sister just gave me all of my mom's scrapbooks. We didn't even know she was a scrapbooker. It's all from her younger days, before I was born. I want to go through them thoughtfully, giving them the attention they deserve, but I just haven't been able to open one yet. I still miss her too much . . .

Whats on Your Mind
 

I had given most of my moms stuff to my nieces when she passed but I did find a few pics and letters she had written to me. I also found a letter postcard from my grandmother to her sister. I can see you two also miss your mothers. My mother breathed in and I breathed out, far too close as mom and daughter and also friends and confidents. Every day she is in my mind and missing her can hardly say how I feel.

I heart October ❣️
 

Removing Books From Libraries...
 

Removing Books From Libraries Often Takes Debate. But There’s a Quieter Way.

By Elizabeth Harris, New York Times

Weeding, or culling old, damaged or outdated books, is standard practice in libraries. But in some cases it is being used to remove books because of the viewpoint they express.

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Two lawsuits have recently taken up weeding. The practice allows librarians to keep collections current, but some have argued that it has been used in some instances to remove books for their content.Credit...Nam Y. Huh/Associated Press

Thousands of books have been removed from schools and libraries over the past several years, often accompanied by stormy public meetings and acrimonious debate. But there is a quieter way books have been pulled from libraries — a process called weeding.

The practice is standard for librarians, a regular part of keeping their collections current. Traditionally, weeding involves removing books that are damaged, out of date or haven’t been checked out in a long time. This makes room for new editions and titles that are of more interest to the community.

Now, three years into surge in challenges and removals of books from libraries, weeding is sometimes being used to remove books because of the viewpoint they express or the story they tell. The issue is now working its way through the court system.

Advocates say that, increasingly, administrators and library board officials are using this approach to avoid the public spectacle of formally pulling them because of their content.

“When you remove a book because you believe it’s critical race theory, or portrays L.G.B.T.Q. lives or because you believe it’s too vulgar,” said Deborah Caldwell-Stone, Director of the American Library Association’s Office for Intellectual Freedom, “that’s not weeding. That’s censorship.”

In recent years, the number of books that have been restricted or removed has surged around the country, fed in part by conservative organizations, lists of books that circulated on social media and state laws that have decided what kinds of books are appropriate for children.

Those in favor of restricting access to certain titles say they are trying to protect children from encountering difficult, inappropriate or sensitive topics while they are alone in the library, or at school without guidance from their parents. Those who oppose these restrictions say libraries should represent a wide range of viewpoints.

Usually, removing a book from a school or library because of its content requires a process. That can include extensive public notice and input as well as board meetings, which can get volatile and heated.

Weeding, on the other hand, is part of the day-to-day work of maintaining a collection. Librarians do this largely on their own, though most libraries have weeding policies and criteria to help guide the choices.

One common standard is called “MUSTIE,” which stands for Misleading, Ugly (damaged or worn out), Superseded (by a newer edition), Trivial, Irrelevant (to the community) and Elsewhere (meaning the material could easily be found someplace else).

The work is essential to keep collections in good shape. Caldwell-Stone of the library association said that librarians never know what they’re going to find when they go into a library’s book return drop box — and generally, they try to sort through it while wearing gloves. She was once told that a book was returned with a strip of bacon pressed between the pages as a book mark. That book, for example, had to go.

Two lawsuits have recently taken up the practice, and how it is being used.

According to a suit filed in federal court this year, officials in Nassau County, Florida removed or restricted access to 36 books in its public school library after members of an organization called Citizens Defending Freedom said they were inappropriate for children. County officials said they removed most of the books because they violated a state obscenity law.

Three of those books did not go through the usual process, according to Lauren Zimmerman, a partner at Selendy Gay, and one of the lawyers who filed the case. Instead, they were weeded. Among them was a picture book called “And Tango Makes Three,” about a penguin family with two penguin dads.

The district said it weeded its only copy of “Tango” because of a “lack of circulation,” the lawsuit said. But according to court documents, it had been checked out at least five times in the previous five years, while thousands of other books in the district’s public libraries that had not been checked out at all during that period were not removed.

The other weeded books were “Ghost Boys,” about racism in the United States, and “Almost Perfect,” a coming-of-age story about a high school romance involving a transgender student, according to the court documents.

The Nassau County case settled last month and all three books will go back on the shelves, along with 21 others. The remaining 12 books will be available for checkout to students who are at least 18 years old, or who have permission from their parents. A lawyer representing Nassau County did not respond to requests for comment.

“It took generations of work by countless individuals for books like ‘Tango’ to make it onto shelves of libraries,” said Justin Richardson, one of the authors of “And Tango makes Three,” who was a plaintiff in the lawsuit. “We’re simply not going to sit by and let them take them off.”

Another instance where weeding has landed in court is a case that began in Llano County, Tex. and is now in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. According to court documents, public library officials removed 17 books, including “Caste,” by Isabel Wilkerson, which is about race in the United States, and “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health,” by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley, which has illustrations of sex and masturbation.

County officials said those books were weeded. Lawyers for Llano County have asked the court to reverse a 29-year-old precedent on the issue. They’ve argued that while none of these books were removed because of their content or viewpoint, library officials have the right to do so. Removing books is not a violation of patrons’ rights, the lawyers argued, because the government is not obligated to supply books in the first place. The government is not allowed to stop you from accessing books, but it doesn’t have to help.

This summer, a three-judge panel ruled, in a split decision, that books could not be removed based on their viewpoint. But a few weeks later, the Fifth Circuit made an unusual choice: It would rehear the case, this time in front of the full court. Oral arguments took place last month, and a decision is expected in several months.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/08/b...y-weeding.html

* Booo! * 😍. (Favorite Charlie Brown moments)
 

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A crow was in my side garden. I was able to get close and it never flew away. I smiled. My Mom always thought when a crow came to visit it was my Dad.

I have been reflecting on how hard these past few months have been. It's time to go forward and be my best self again.

What is on Your Mind
 

I have a ceramic crow on my bookcase. When our mom died I decieded to do a ceremony for the freeing of the souls. It is to allow those who have passed to not feel they must worry concerning us who are left behine. They can finally have peace. SO, my sister and I did what was the burning of white sage and praying that the creator would give our two parents (father also) peace. As we finished speaking on the smoke which takes silent prayers to the skies , two crow flew over and each one cawed once and flew away. We knew then our past loveones had total peace. To visit if they wished but not to feel they had to. I just finished my book on "In the Company of Crows and Ravens" and it showed how intellligent crows are. They know who you are once they meet you and will remember your response to their presence. This has been scientifically verified. SO, take care on your first meeting, the crow will not forget you.

What is on Your Mind.
 

Because Taylor Swift is in Toronto doing a few shows that is all that is in the news. I had never heard one of her songs on purpose so I listened to one. It is a shame that being such an idol and inspiration to so many young girls that this diva could not finish one of her songs without using the F word. If TS does it, it has to be ok cause she is cool. This type of language is unnecessary and uncool. I dislike songs with vulgar language but that is MY opinion. You know, the one I can have. lol.

Not an excuse, but . . . Taylor Swift started out as a sweet young virginal thing still living at home with Mommy and Daddy. Now she's trying to prove she's grown. Wrongheaded, perhaps, probably, but she's at that age. BTW, she does have some very good songs without coarse language.

These things have been on my mind lately
 

In a sea of bad news with not much good news around, I've been noticing that people are starting to really imagine how life can be — when hate and cruelty is so abundant in the world around us. That’s what I was thinking about today, how life can feel rewarding, even during times of hardship. Some people are born into privilege while others aren’t. But it seems we all get to experience life in ways that seem immutably challenging. Or something like that …

Life is about to become survival of the fittest any day now…

Be kind… kindness is precious. Very precious. :stillheart:

Mammogram. I need to call and make an appointment. I'm usually on this, but have let this go for too long. I will make an appointment later today when the painters leave.

I also need to donate some blood. I have 0 negative and it's helpful to lots of people. I've let that slide, too. Will reach out to the red cross this week.

I guess health is on my mind.

Driving. I bought a second walker to keep outside in my carport. This means I can now get to the car, and then back inside the house, on my own without anyone's help. I'm much stronger now than I was when I last fell in this spot, but it still feels a little dangerous to walk up the steps from the carport to the house. It's only two steps, but there's no handrail, just a wall.

Even so, I'm going to Publix tomorrow to pick up a prescription, and I'm also going to drive through the produce stand. I'll be home before the boy leaves for work, so that takes care of the safety factor. At least I won't have to wake him up to help me get to the car before I leave.

A little more independence is a good thing.

This is really smart. I'm going to put it all on my to-do list; these are great ideas. For the past several years, the hurricane weather has been travelling up the east coast and wreaking all kinds of havoc. It caused a real mess in North Carolina last year that they are still recovering from. I personally had a tree fall on my house several years ago and lost my chimney and a bedroom. It took over a year to work it all out with the insurance company, and I only recovered about 25% of the total cost, in the end. I didn't qualify for any help from FEMA. Over a year went by before all the repairs were finished.

All this stuff happens yearly now, yet we all (in north Georgia, anyway) act like no serious weather is ever going to come north of Florida. The day a hurricane actually hits Florida, and all the roads are crowded and hotels are full of people fleeing Florida, that's when people who live around here start buying up all the bottled water, eggs, milk and bread. A few people might remember to bring in their lawn furniture and other loose items from the outdoors.

And now, the Navy is no longer sharing satellite weather information with NOAA, and weather forecasters will no longer have access to predictive hurricane information. FEMA has been dismantled, so there will be no coordinating organization between the states or help from federal agencies like the Coast Guard.

The more I write here, the more frantic and nervous I get about the whole thing. Not only am I putting this stuff on my to-do list, I'm sharing it with my friends, family and local Facebook groups.

I remember this from last year. You were really in a rough time. You're smart to be so prepared and I'm sure there is a mental health satisfaction to know you're doing what you can to be prepared. I hope you don't need the preparation but, if you do, you'll be as ready as you can.

Bèsame*, did you get your results yet?

On my mind: I'm getting a new foster dog next weekend. She's a 1-2 year old pit mix. (Ugh, my favorite!). I'm excited to have her for as long as I have her.

Good for you! Pitties are really so sweet. My pittie/boxer mix is currently in the hallway, trying to untie the knot in her towel to get the treats out.

Bèsame*, I'm glad to hear that!

On my mind. I believe my kiddo will be getting engaged this week or next. Their partner asked me over the winter to make a ring box for the proposal and said they were shooting for this July. I made a nice ring box for them.

So fast forward to this week. My kiddo is super sick. I was over at their apartment this morning bringing soup and tea and shower steamers. Their partner is still hopeful that they can go out for dinner on Wednesday where there would be a proposal. I have a feeling that's not going to happen. I just suggested to their partner that, if they have the rest of their life together, it would be wise to wait another week until they are both able to enjoy it. I get the excitement but... I hope they wait until they both are healthy and can enjoy the moment.