Clean up on aisle seven!, no use crying about it.


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...0675b47f20.jpg

My goofball best friend laughing till he had tears about a FB video of "Choco the Macho Chihuahua".

On Sunday during a road trip with Blade and his sister, I should have videoed the whole trip for as many times as we cracked up. I'm glad we didn't get pulled over because the cop would have thought we were on laughing gas! ...and OMG, when Sis took over driving (with Blade giving her hell the whole time about not tearing up his new truck), Blade got a text from Mawmaw "are you all ok", Blade says "what should I say, FUCK NO?"...they had asked me to drive, but I said "no thanks, me and this watermelon back here are getting to be friends...we're on a first name basis now.". I thought Blade and Sis would fall out laughing!

Hahaha...I will always love a good mondegreen! I still think my favorite is from Starship's "We Built This City" (We built this city on the wrooong daaamn rooooooaad...) :simplelaugh:

Was reminded of this. Maybe I'm just easily amused....

I was talking to Shy on the phone and for the life of me couldn't understand a certain word she was saying (happens often - she has a thick Bahston accent).

Then she attempted to say it so I could understand. Listening to her trying to carefully pronounce an "r" for the word "car" just had me rolling in laughter, lol.

pahk the cah in hahvahd yahd, ha ha.

"Serenity" wants me to become her Facebook friend so I can go "touch" her at some website.

PASS

p.s. I'm selling the website URL for a small fee, please inquire within. Ha, ha kidding. I'm sure Serenity will find you and you'll get the site for free. LMAO.

Texting with Shy

Shy: You seem short tonight

BullDog: Well I'm taller than you are

Starting the day with laughter is a great thing!

Hilarious Sign Fails


http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp...01da9__605.jpg

http://blog.eaglemastersigns.com/wp-...ic-fails-9.jpg

*She is probably performing CPR ;)
http://www.thedistractionnetwork.com...l-pics-056.jpg

*Sounds delish.....not
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...unny-signs.jpg

Hah!
http://www.booked.net/blog/wp-conten...08/hotel20.jpg

Food porn conversations... They were a doozy & had me cracking all over.... Especially the lungs....!

This did.
 

My usually very quiet dog suddenly barking at a small stick that fell from the tree branch into the yard...

Whatever it was she seen in her eyes that stick was pure evil & it didn't belong in our yard... lol

Cracked me up
 

It is that time again when the persimmons start rotting and fermenting. So the birds and other wildlife eat the fruit and get a little tipsy. Haha!



"Texas persimmon, Diospyros texana, is found in northern Mexico and Central and West Texas; it is especially abundant in the Edwards Plateau area. The tree has small, purple fruit and is known for its peeling bark, which reveals shades of white, gray, and even pink on the trunk".

Texting with Shy:

BullDog: How are you

Shy: Tired but ok. How are you?

Bulldog: Ok

Shy: Well good. One day we are both going to say we are good instead of just okay.

Bulldog: Then perhaps very good - all in good time.

Nastiness also can be quite hilarious. Especially when it is so off base. Must be rough being so unhappy.

However, did run into some pleasant people at the store today also. Life is good.

My roommate yelling from the other room "STOP LICKING MY SHEETS, THAT'S NOT A LOLLIPOP!!"

My feeble gentleman neighbor, eating a scoop of ice cream out of a bowl. It was piled so high he was licking it like it was a cone of ice cream. Said he hadn't had any since December. But he was happy with it today

He did...several times...I'd forgotten he could be so funny...and I kinda needed that today...

Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions as Granny is spot on! Cracked up so hard.....


https://i.redd.it/i47h16b386bz.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images...2/hsBDbE5L.jpg

My goofball roommate while we were outside....
 

On his way to the truck, "come'ere, I need your help"
Me: What for??? I'm out here in my nightgown.
Him: So am I.
Me: :blink: :blink: :blink: Well that's a post for what cracked me up today, you in a nightgown. :blink: :blink: (watching him walk away from me in his shorts and sleeveless top.)

Referring to a HUGE daddy long leg on the ceiling: "See baby, it's okay to have a second daddy in the house when I'm gone!"

The reaction of the door-to-door salesman who came to my front door after he saw my 3 growling Boston Terriers thru the storm door window, and when he noticed the security camera and realized he was being videotaped. It was hilarious!! He grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack and jumped back and started stuttering all over the place. He put his hands up to cover his face from the camera and tried to yell over my insanely loud, barking dogs about the "frozen food" he was selling. Why he didn't want his face to be seen on camera, I have no idea? But little does he know the security camera had already picked him up as he pulled in our driveway, and as he walked up the long, winding wheelchair ramp. His truck had no identification on it advertising frozen food. I told him politely we weren't interested and he hurried off. :jester::jester::jester::jester:

OMG this cracked me up !!

My daughter texting me to tell me she just caught my grandson (he's almost 3) dipping his head in the dogs water bowl so he could push his hair up and make a mohawk!!

How utterly in love, obsessed, wildly crazy about, and totally head-over-paws Blade's chihuahua is for him. That poor dog's world would end if anything ever happened to Blade. I think the feeling is mutual between the two.

It's on ...
 

I received a care package today from Detroit with nothing but Cheetos in it.

I'll pay her back (and will have lots of fun) when I send her a birthday package full of silly and stupid things.

When I walk into work and the mountain of work is crazy.. but My manager laughs and says you can do all that in one day right lol....bahahahahaha..

Trying to explain something to someone who is to stupid to have the job they have

My goofball best friend talking about a water buffalo.

That some people truly have the audacity to try and square up with me... you won't win, I don't back down, stop trying.

Slipping on my backside whilst holding a cup off coffee & not spilling a single drop..... Now that's dedication.... lol @ me.....

The Tractor Supply manager. I bought a battery operated pole saw. The box did not indicate if there was bar/chain oil in the box. Most items like this come with at least a small bottle.

I ask the cashier did she know if there was any in the box, she held the whole box up in the air, like she was doing a price check on a box of tampons, and yelled does this come with oil. The manager yelled back, it's electric, you don't need oil.

I glanced at the guy behind me and he was chuckling I began chuckling. To whom it may concern, even electric chain saws need bar/chain oil.

Telling a friend about a mutual friend's fiasco involving two fishing rods, a bunch of tangled fishing line, a car trunk that was too small to fit the big fishing rod, one grandkid that had just about pushed his limit, two fish hooks....
and the end result of "Pap" with three holes in his hand (thanks to the kid yanking on the line as "Pap" was trying to untangle things), me running to get his pocket knife to free things up, then parts of the fishing poles in the trunk and other parts in the front seat, and a grandkid that was told to never bring fishing poles again....Pap was not a very happy Pap.
And telling this story to a friend that knows Pap well, and knows Pap never raises his voice or gets peeved with his grandkids.

An impromptu brainstorming session with my coworkers on how to stop the women at the new company on the 1st floor from coming to our 3rd floor restroom to "drop the kids off at the pool" all day every day...even though they have their own huge bathroom downstairs.

There were some pretty funny and creative ideas!

Shaking out my tent to air out from the last camping trip and seeing glitter start flying out of it. :hangloose::clap:

Trump looking at the eclipse without glasses...
 

http://i4.mirror.co.uk/incoming/arti...Washington.jpg

Somebody please tell me that if he burns his eyes out, he can't be president anymore.