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Living life always thinking the dreaded two words..."What if"
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But, after going through some of the what ifs in my head, i have occasionally taken a chance that maybe i wouldn't have normally taken, so though it's a bane, it has helped once or twice. |
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For myself, I don't want to be in a situation where I'm trapped in my own body....vegetable state....and not be able to communicate what my desires are. I don't want someone to keep me alive because "they" think it's the "best thing" for me. They don't know. It's my body...my life...and it's mine to live as I see fit. Once the quality is gone, I'm perfectly fine with letting go. Heaven knows, I've tortured myself enough over the years. I'm good. I'm solid. The medical community can torture someone else. Use what you can of my body and then let. me. go. I've already had this conversation with Organic and, when we can, I'm going to work on getting the documents in order to prevent this circumstance. |
ending up bitter and cold like my mom, I wish she was not such a downer.
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NEVER finding another love that makes me truly happy....
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i fear putting myself out there at times, because there is a fine line between extending yourself to help someone sincerely, and getting yourself involved in something that just drags you down.. |
Dead-pale little girls in black who ask, "would you come out and play with us?"
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That I will never know what true security feels like.
That there is something deeply, inherently wrong with me and not only will it prevent me from having love term love in my life, but I will never ever get to know what that intolerable thing is. |
Unemployment
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- the dark.. i've a real fear of the dark, especially when i'm all alone.. at night, i don't feel safe and it interferes with my sleep.. even if my children are here, i feel responsible for them, so i don't feel a sense of safety.. and yes,i even run and jump on my bed so the boogie man doesn't grab me from beneath! :blink: |
I have a deep fear of losing the security of my own home.
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