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Shit Heard Around My Mama's House
Just so y'all know I come by my smart-assedness honestly.... Today at my Mama's house this is a one liner from my Mama..."I'm gonna go to the airport to get one of them body searches, I ain't been FELT UP in YEARS!"
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:rofl: :pointing: :flying: |
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Thank you PURE BELLE! Muah....and, yes, vewy skeery, those two! |
The extra love n care around here is just oozing these days. "...I sucked the pickle juice off before I put it in yer tuna. I didn't want it to get all soggy" :chef: What makes this comment extra Speshel? :sunglass: Daywalker said it to the Mrs. Daywalker. :|........:shocking: Not the other way around. Wwweeeeeeeee :rofl: :daywalker: |
We didn't have the heat on but it's been dreary and damp and chilly enough that our sliding glass door fogged up due to the temperature difference.
I snuck up behind Organic and wrote H E L P! backwards on the window and put a squiggle underneath it. He looked over and said, "Now, what if someone from the apartments across the street sees it and calls the cops?" I said, "First of all, the cops have bigger fish to fry than you keeping me hostage. Secondly, there's a SQUIGGLE under it. No one would take it seriously." Organic goes over and, instead of wiping it off, writes N O backwards in shaky weird lettering underneath. Me: Oh, that is SO much better! They won't suspect anything from THAT. :blink: |
We're watching horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, movies during the down time while Organic is at work. We watched Highway to Hell with Kristy Swanson and Chad Lowe. Ugh. Then he started up some Road to Promythius (or some such nonsense) and started complaining because they didn't stab a guy to his specifications. I said that it was a crappy movie and what did he expect and Organic said, "I expect them to stab a muthafucka and not just stab the ground!"
:blink: Yes, we have high standards at our home. |
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*said to Zoe (my cat) as she is twirled around in my lap earlier while trying to get comfortable*
Please remove your paw from my crotch. Her response? :| |
During our 984 miles in 48 hr road trip to Nashville over Christmas...
Me: "Its clear this way." Jess: "Good thing - I wasn't lookin' anyway" Pure example of why you nap as little as possible when its not your turn to drive! |
My 21 year old incredibly spoilt daughter who's visiting from Israel and who seems oblivious to the fact that Christmas does not just 'happen' by itself (in response to my request that she pick up something from right in front of her on the floor)...
''Oooooooooooh Maaaaaaama, come on, you want me to bend? I'm tiiiiiiiiiired.'' *Sigh.* Words |
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i can feel Organic on this...i mean if you are gonna stab someone you GOT to do it right! sheeesh |
Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."
:glasses: :reader: :superfunny: :knitboy: I'm on it! |
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(Its an old joke - if you haven't heard it, lemme know and I'll post it!) |
first, I need to set up what was going on. on t.v. the news had a story about Gene Keady ( who was Purdue University basketball coach ) was selling some of his items. My sister was watching it and I was walking thru the family room. News dude : Gene Keady is selling his six foot nutcracker soldiers my sister: wow. that would definitely crack your nuts! me: :|:|:| i keep walking thru while looking at her like this :| |
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my very smart 7 year old daughter to me* Mama what are these (holding Desd birth control pills) so I tell her and her responce ...... Mama Hide them as she runs away with them I want a little brother HUH say what
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Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book. Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs. After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing. "Warming up my hands, dear." She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?" :dance2: |
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Brrrrrr.... my ears are freezin off! :freak: |
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