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-   Dating, Marriage, Family (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=110)
-   -   What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4355)

kittygrrl 12-24-2011 05:09 PM
I think three (really wanted to say five) is healthy (with some things being givens) because the more "I have to have this" it takes the less open we are to what life has to offer..life isn't perfect and we aren't either, thats ok, in life there has to be sweet and bitter..but balance is what we are seeking..(imo)

JAGG 01-03-2012 07:52 AM
Integrity
Intelligent
Energetic/ Fit

ruffryder 01-03-2012 08:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterbean (Post 490383)
1. My toaster strudel is mine.

2. My toaster strudel is mine.

3. My toaster strudel is mine.


Some things are sacred.
This reminds me of the subway commercial. He he.

kittygrrl 01-03-2012 09:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruffryder (Post 497166)
This reminds me of the subway commercial. He he.
(in a fix) toaster strudel rules :byebye:

1QuirkyKiwi 01-03-2012 12:44 PM
I’m adding….

Annunciation
Pronunciations
Sentence formation

This my seem like the pot calling the kettle black, considering my accent may be seen as a bastardisation of the English language in terms of pronunciation of the words…. There is no letter E and our I’s are lonely without the O, unless it morphs into a U when the O is not needed in the word ….really we only use the vowels A, O and U.

….OK! I admit that when I’ve said some things, I’ve been given the “WT….?” Look. A classic example is when I’ve arranged to meet a date and I’ve said: “Us sucks, good for you?” (Translated as: “Is six, good for you?”) …. And at the restaurant, I’ve ordered: “Munner stroney, followed by Fitter Cheney with Oluves and Ever Cardeau.” (Translated as: “Minestrone and Fettuccine with Olives and avocado)

I don’t expect, and I’m not looking for the perfect linguist to have conversations with, yet, I’d like to be able to at least stand a decent chance of understanding what my date says! It’s cringe-worthy when I can’t tell if it’s a new dialect of British English and I’m too embarrassed to ask, AGAIN! Although, I’m growing quite fond of the east London accent that sounds like a love child of Alan Rickman and Michael Caine, lol!

VintageFemme 01-03-2012 01:11 PM
Absolutely Non-Negotiable
 
  • honesty
  • loyalty
  • strength [heart, soul & spirit]
you would think these are all a given in any relationship but they are in fact quite rare. even the smallest of white lies and betrayals are commonplace in most relationships and finding true strength of heart, is probably the hardest and yet most important trait in a relationship for me.

foxyshaman 01-03-2012 01:23 PM
First and foremost a sense of humor; cause I am kick ass funny and if you don't laugh I will be sad...
interest in tantra or sacred sex - wham bams - need not apply
deeply spiritual - I will accept yours if you accept mine

Apocalipstic 01-03-2012 02:26 PM
no birds as pets

no snakes in the house

must love cats and dogs and allow them to sleep in the bed

:glasses:

OS Butch 01-03-2012 02:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apocalipstic (Post 497357)
no birds as pets

no snakes in the house

must love cats and dogs and allow them to sleep in the bed

:glasses:
Dang! Another deal breaker! No birds or snakes, love dogs and cats. I have a Boxer, but he has his own bed. ;)

Novelafemme 01-03-2012 02:51 PM
1. respect and understanding for and of my daughters. they come first.

2. a healthy relationship with food. it's a big part of my life but not the center of it.

3. loves to laugh.....at me and with me. :) especially about farting, pooping, and everything bathroom oriented. :passinggas:

Gráinne 01-03-2012 03:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi (Post 497320)
I’m adding….

Annunciation
Pronunciations
Sentence formation

This my seem like the pot calling the kettle black, considering my accent may be seen as a bastardisation of the English language in terms of pronunciation of the words…. There is no letter E and our I’s are lonely without the O, unless it morphs into a U when the O is not needed in the word ….really we only use the vowels A, O and U.

….OK! I admit that when I’ve said some things, I’ve been given the “WT….?” Look. A classic example is when I’ve arranged to meet a date and I’ve said: “Us sucks, good for you?” (Translated as: “Is six, good for you?”) …. And at the restaurant, I’ve ordered: “Munner stroney, followed by Fitter Cheney with Oluves and Ever Cardeau.” (Translated as: “Minestrone and Fettuccine with Olives and avocado)

I don’t expect, and I’m not looking for the perfect linguist to have conversations with, yet, I’d like to be able to at least stand a decent chance of understanding what my date says! It’s cringe-worthy when I can’t tell if it’s a new dialect of British English and I’m too embarrassed to ask, AGAIN! Although, I’m growing quite fond of the east London accent that sounds like a love child of Alan Rickman and Michael Caine, lol!
I take it no one who sounds like Eliza Doolittle need apply, either ;).

I finally learned not to try to guess where someone is from. Aussies/Kiwis don't appreciate my saying "Are you British"? Oops. I myself sound like Scarlett O'Hara from Milwaukee.

*ahem* As for me:

1. No undealt with addictions (and if recovering, it's more than one year)

2. No rage issues. No abuse or disrespect.

3. Responsible.

Slowpurr 01-03-2012 04:01 PM
I had some difficulty distinguishing between deal breakers and desires. Anyone reading this, I assume, is a member here and therefore knows how important both sexual preference and sexual orientation are so I eliminated them from my list.

I could not be with someone who is not;

Honest:not the brutal kind

Compassionate: not just to those with the acceptable diseases, behaviors or life problems, to everyone.

a Nonsmoker

This is the quintessential speed dating question.
I know someone who will be prepared because she reads the dynamic posts on the bfp.

1QuirkyKiwi 01-03-2012 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by guihong (Post 497375)
I take it no one who sounds like Eliza Doolittle need apply, either ;).

I finally learned not to try to guess where someone is from. Aussies/Kiwis don't appreciate my saying "Are you British"? Oops. I myself sound like Scarlett O'Hara from Milwaukee.

*ahem* As for me:

1. No undealt with addictions (and if recovering, it's more than one year)

2. No rage issues. No abuse or disrespect.

3. Responsible.
Err….no! We don’t appreciate being called British (no offence to the British), although, I can’t think why we get mistaken for the British….we Kiwis sound like we have rocks rolling around in our mouths when we talk! :| LOL! When I was in the U.S I was often told that I sounded ‘lovely’…. I’m sure it was just politeness, lol! :)

I’ve been mistaken for South African a lot over here! :blink: ….I love the melodic French, Italian and Scandinavian cadences, also, the Louisiana and east coast accents. *Swoons*

ROFL! Eliza Doolittle comes under the east London accent as the love child of Alan Rickman and Michael Caine, lol! ….My attempts at doing a Cockney accent are somewhat left to be desired….my Kiwi accent creeps through and I sound like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, only with a cold! LOL! :|

Scarlett O’Hara with a Milwaukee accent, eh? That sounds interesting! :)

Jett 01-03-2012 04:51 PM
[QUOTE=Gemme;490285]My friend, if there are many out there who think this way, I am doomed. It's the curse of the Gemini to feel everything a different way at different times. It's the built in flibbertygibbet in us.

:princess:[quote]


Lmao@ "flibbertygibbet"... (and I know what you mean- I think that's dif than what I was thinking so no worries lol ;) )

spritzerJ 01-03-2012 05:42 PM
subject to change with notice...
 
So three non-negotiables in a relationship (of the this is serious type)...

1. Have a deep understanding of what it means to be a parent and a clearly choose to be in a relationship with someone that is a parent. This includes loving the kiddo, me, sharing a common perspective about how I parent, respecting how I parent. And pretty much be over your need to sleep in for a while.

2. Possess the capacity for forgiveness. For yourself, others, etc. I will endeavor to make it right, but I won't get it right the first time always. Forgiveness includes openness for me.

3. Passion... for your goals, for "us", what you want, what we are defining together, sex. Passion can ebb and flow but underlying there is a desire to be on life's journey.

1QuirkyKiwi 01-03-2012 05:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jenna8987 (Post 497443)
So three non-negotiables in a relationship (of the this is serious type)...

1. Have a deep understanding of what it means to be a parent and a clearly choose to be in a relationship with someone that is a parent. This includes loving the kiddo, me, sharing a common perspective about how I parent, respecting how I parent. And pretty much be over your need to sleep in for a while.

2. Possess the capacity for forgiveness. For yourself, others, etc. I will endeavor to make it right, but I won't get it right the first time always. Forgiveness includes openness for me.

3. Passion... for your goals, for "us", what you want, what we are defining together, sex. Passion can ebb and flow but underlying there is a desire to be on life's journey.
My Maori Grandmother always told me that forgiveness was one way to respect yourself and others for making mistakes in life and learning about yourselves and the world around us. Not forgiving was like saying you cannot make mistakes and must always attain to be perfect.

Soft*Silver 01-03-2012 06:36 PM
handsome ears

must have a bookcase filled with books

must enjoy indoor animals

DapperButch 01-03-2012 08:38 PM
Miss Tia you are up to 9!!! I am calling foul!

:readrules: :police: :tease:

Sassy 01-03-2012 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassy (Post 489283)
I have one non-negotiable.... Spirituality. You must be open-minded, open-hearted and interested in alternative faiths and spiritual practices at least to the point of being willing to discuss/debate philosophical differences and participate in rituals, etc. on special occasions. :praying:

And then one solid, undeniable truth... I'm a Sagittarius. The wild wanderings -- verbal, mental, emotional, physical, sensual and metaphysical -- of a Jupiter's child can be tiring. If you have days where you don't have the energy to get off the couch, then you do not have the energy for me. ;)
After entirely too much thought on this subject lately, I have to amend/add something:
Health conscious.
Willing to prepare, or at least eat, healthy food. Not bring junk food in the home. Take walks, ride bikes, visit the gym, etc. ... good for me in more than just the dinner-and-a-movie kind of way.

JAGG 01-03-2012 09:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss_Tia (Post 497476)
handsome ears

must have a bookcase filled with books

must enjoy indoor animals
handsome ears. hahahah Okay.


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