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I don't allow anyone to decide how I identify, she may speak for herself, she can not speak for the rest of us. Actors have a stage, we give it to them, take the stage away and they are just the same as everyone else. Would any of us give another person the right to define us? I think not. Her decision to id as what ever she id's as is her choice, in that it is a choice. Who she sleeps with, or has a physical relationship with is none of my concern. If we think she speaks for us, then we've given her our power. I haven't and she doesn't.
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This is not about Vlasta -- at all.
But i don't think that we should let comments like that stand. It's no different, IMO, from a racist or sexist remark. It doesn't belong here. We can feel however we feel, but we don't get to say it everywhere. People can publish their own site or blog or whatever or go to one that hates bisexuals. But that's not us. |
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I like facts, 'cause everyone has an opinion. Bi's are no more hurtful than any other segment of the lgBtq spectrum. This site is more open than any other site, and if someone wants to have an opinion that is different than the rest, perhaps they'd best be prepared to back up why they have a particular opinion. I don't tend to hand out passes for opinions which degrade anyones identity.
Me having an opinion. |
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Who said anything about kicking people out?
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has anyone seen this article?
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/op...t.html?_r=2&hp i've been thinking about responding to this thread for awhile but don't feel like i'm in a place yet where i can articulate what i really want to say. but i just saw this on facebook and thought it was really interesting. |
Well, i agree that it will be a good day when we don't need the argument -- that we are born this way -- anymore. It will mean we have less need to defend ourselves.
It's hard for me to deny that it's biological though. My first erotic dream was about a woman. My romantic connections with men were ALL emotionally flat. i have been in relationships with bisexual women, and i just don't notice men the way they do. i don't react. That is really the only difference between us. But it is real. I can't imagine feeling what they do. It seems strange to me. Not strange yucky. Just something i can't relate to. This has nothing to do with my ability to connect with men as friends. But it is pronounced. Undeniable. From the beginning. |
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Except maybe to keep them away from vulnerable children. |
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I tend to see it a little differently. I prefer a healthy dose of difference. I find when I dont venture out of my comfort zone, I get bored, stagnant, and intellectually rusty. I also find people who think differently than me have much to teach me. They teach me tolerance which is a huge asset in a very diverse world. They also teach me patience and who cant afford to be more patient. But, most of all, they teach me a lot about the person I am and the person I strive to be. |
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The underlined part is what gets me. Yes, we are all free to express our opinions, be they right or wrong or mired in some gray muck inbetween, however, if one cannot take a moment to say, "And this is why...." then not only do I not hold ANY value in what they said (be it a learning experience for me or an opportunity to educate someone who may need it) but it feels like nothing more than shit stirring. To hone in on the thread topic, I feel Cynthia has the right to love who she wants and to do it in the fashion she wants, but I really do wish she would word things differently. Someone mentioned the 'man boobs' thing and I remember cringing when I heard that. PC, she is not. |
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Thinkin
As a Latina Queer Woman I get sick and fucking tired of having to educate peoples ignorant statements... It gets old.. It's not that hard to think before you speak and check your isms at the door.
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Ok but I still am not sure I am understanding what homoflexible and heteroflexible refers to. Are you saying this means someone who is primarily one but may occasionally be the other? How does homo/hetero flexible differ from the older concept of bisexual? Or is it the new terminology for bisexual? |
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Is it wrong for someone to express their thoughts without being afraid? We all have our own opinions and share our personal thoughts. It doesn't mean we want to get into a pissing contest with anyone else. Some of us are good at debates and can explain what we mean, others can't. I personally don't like pissing contests. We will always agree to disagree or disagree to agree. I have an ex that once told me, it's not about being with man or woman that defines who she is, it's who she falls in love with. That day, I opened my eyes and actually heard and understood what she was saying. She put no labels on herself because you can't tell the heart who it can or can not love. For myself, I don't know if I was born this way. I grew up in a society in an era when you were told that marrying a man and having a family is what was expected of women. My dad was a cop, I was not defiant back then because I knew it would only lead to an ass whooping. I can honestly say, I grew up a tomboy, but at 17 was married and by 19 divorced. I was on a 2 year journey trying to figure out why I didn't like sex or being touched by men. A straight friend of mine sat me down with a bottle of wine one night and we talked for hours. She opened me up to a world I never knew existed because I was really sheltered from it as a kid. Honestly, as a kid, I never knew gay existed. Another friend used to call me a baby bitch in the making and I had to have her tell me what she meant. This is part of my journey, this is my story, this is my truth. I wouldn't change the me I became on my journey for anyone. So, was I born this way or was it a choice? |
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