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-   Other Sexualities And Identities (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=112)
-   -   The House of Stone... (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4882)

SilverStoneFemme 04-14-2012 05:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aishah (Post 565002)
(seems we were all posting at the same time...sorry if this covers ground covered in previous posts.)

i'm not sure why lesbian and stone are being posed here in opposition to one another. they are both identities. some folks here identify as BOTH. they are not kinds of sex...they are identities. some stone folks like to do certain sex acts, some don't. some lesbians like certain sex acts, some don't. some define themselves as both lesbian and stone because they don't or do like sex a certain way. others define themselves as lesbian and stone and may have sex differently. i'm really uncomfortable with the positioning of lesbian and stone as opposite to one another, on the basis of certain sex acts "belonging" to lesbian and certain sex acts "belonging" to stone. i'm not lesbian, and i am stone (though not with the exact same sex boundaries as some folks...maybe with similar boundaries to others), but it still makes me extremely uncomfortable. particularly because there are a LOT of lesbian stone femmes AND butches here. as has already been stated.

if silverstone or others don't like some sex acts and for them that is how they understand stone...that's cool. but that doesn't make some sex acts explicitly "lesbian" and others "stone." they're just sex acts. lesbian and stone are identities. none of those identities or sex acts are inherently better than another, and they do not have to be mutually exclusive.

i for one am grateful that there is another stone thread here. but i don't want having another stone thread to mean we exclude stone folks who don't define themselves exactly one way. or for it to mean that we are positioning stone as somehow opposite or exclusive of lesbian.
So sorry, aishash, as much as i appreciate your previous posts, and the props you've given me, i must disagree.

Stone, in this thread, is different than lesbian.

Should you want to start a thread that includes lesbian, you have the opportunity to do so.

Stone, here, is an identity of and for itself.

This is a place where a small group of folx can come and not be pressured to conform to 14 other definitions. Where non-lesbian, non-female genitialia receptive, non-female pronoun stones can be open about who they are.

And not apologize for it.

Random 04-14-2012 05:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme (Post 564989)
[FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3]@Random, it has nothing to do with how one is touched.

It has to do with not being touched at all. As in never.

Many, many stonebutches and stonefemme are not female genitalia receptive.

i am NOT female genitalia receptive and have been for over 25 years. i have met and known many, many stonebutches who are NOT female genitalia receptive.

Anyone who comes into our house and tells us we're wrong for feeling this way is denigrating and demeaning our identities.

We are who we are. And we have every right to be who we are.

Those who don't like us and our philosophies can go find other places more conforming to who they are and what they believe.

[/SIZE][/FONT
I wasn't talking about just genitalia being touched...

I was talking about chest/breast/back/hips/shoulders/ass/feet/hands/arms...

For me every part of someones body can be sexualized..

I have brought a stone butch to orgasm by biting/sucking on his inner arm... The way that I held his arm mattered...

For me... The devil is in the detail.. It's part of my job to pay attention to EVERY possibility...

I get focused like that...

SilverStoneFemme 04-14-2012 05:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BullDog (Post 565003)
I am a stone butch. I have lesbian sex. I may not engage in the type of sex that you define as "lesbian sex," however I am still having lesbian sex. How is that possible? Because I am a lesbian- a woman who has sex with another woman and who identities as a lesbian. I am also completely stone.

If anyone thinks it gross for two women to have sex together then that's homophobic to the extreme. There is no such thing as lesbian sex in terms of sex acts. Lesbians can have sex in whatever manner they choose- including being stone.

If there are certain sex acts that you don't enjoy that's fine, but you don't have to go ew ick. You can just talk about what you do enjoy. I don't enjoy penetration, but I also don't put down any butch that does.

You can talk about the sex and type of relationships you like without putting anyone down.

You only get to define what stone is for yourself and no one else.

I am completely fine with have a female body. I am not worried about anyone "feminizing" me and don't think it is possible for anyone to do so anyway.

I am a stone butch. I am a lesbian. I am a She.

Oh and yeah I am part of the House of Stone whether you like it or not.

Saying the same things over and over for years and years and years really does get old. Over and out.

EDIT: I am masculine and I am a She.
i am defining what is stone for this thread. If you're not who and what the definitions for this thread, is.....if you're a lesbian, woman identified and use the pronoun she and her, you're not going to be happy with this thread.

You have the option of starting a thread for those stones who DO identify as being a woman, have no problems with having their genitals touched, and who identify as being stone.

BullDog 04-14-2012 05:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme (Post 565025)
i am defining what is stone for this thread. If you're not who and what the definitions for this thread, is.....if you're a lesbian, woman identified and use the pronoun she and her, you're not going to be happy with this thread.

You have the option of starting a thread for those stones who DO identify as being a woman, have no problems with having their genitals touched, and who identify as being stone.
You don't get to define what stone is and you don't get to say who qualifies as stone and you don't get to put a Lesbians Keep Out Sign on the door- not here. If you really think that's ok maybe check with the Admins.

EDIT: you appear to be making assumptions about my genitals- not cool.

SilverStoneFemme 04-14-2012 05:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BullDog (Post 565031)
You don't get to define what stone is and you don't get to say who qualifies as stone and you don't get to put a Lesbians Keep Out Sign on the door- not here. If you really think that's ok maybe check with the Admins.
i am defining what stone is for the purposes of THIS THREAD ONLY.

If you have a different definition of stone, good.

If you want a thread that conforms to your description of stone, you have the opportunity to start a different thread.

The_Lady_Snow 04-14-2012 05:31 PM
Boo!
 
It's not about your desires it's about your fucked up internal homophobia.

You gotta work on that shit it's so 90's dash site shennanigans!!!


DISLIKE!!

princessbelle 04-14-2012 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme (Post 565010)
So sorry, aishash, as much as i appreciate your previous posts, and the props you've given me, i must disagree.

Stone, in this thread, is different than lesbian.

Should you want to start a thread that includes lesbian, you have the opportunity to do so.

Stone, here, is an identity of and for itself.

This is a place where a small group of folx can come and not be pressured to conform to 14 other definitions. Where non-lesbian, non-female genitialia receptive, non-female pronoun stones can be open about who they are.

And not apologize for it.
So let me see if i've got this straight....

If we identify as "She" or if you are a lesbian in any shape or form we are not welcome on this thread. And as far as Masculine...don't matter...you HAVE to ID as Hy or He.

Last i looked YOU id as she.

Last i heard you can't tell us where we can and can't post. Pretty sure only Mods can do that.

This reminds me of a club house when we were kids that said "ONLY ___ allowed".

Sorry, that just didn't fly past the 2nd grade for most of us.

If us "Lesbians" and Lesbian supporters make you go "ewwy".

Too bad.

Hollylane 04-14-2012 05:39 PM
Perhaps it would be better to change the name to something less inclusive. Like "The Place to gather for Stonebutch non-lesbian identified persons who ID as Hy, and shudder at the thought of their Stonefemme wanting to touch them vaginally, and the Stonefemmes who feel the same way"

I'm not making fun, or light of your preferences, I'm just trying to make my point. My post looks passive aggressive, and I don't mean it that way, I am simply trying to show you how it sounds to me, and possibly to others when you take that stance. I personally find the idea of excluding others who ID as Stone from a thread entitled "The House Of Stone", because your sexual preferences may be different, feels pretty yuck.

The word "House", to me, means somewhere safe and welcoming. I don't feel either of those things when I read your original post, or your responses.

*Anya* 04-14-2012 05:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverStoneFemme (Post 565025)
i am defining what is stone for this thread. If you're not who and what the definitions for this thread, is.....if you're a lesbian, woman identified and use the pronoun she and her, you're not going to be happy with this thread.

You have the option of starting a thread for those stones who DO identify as being a woman, have no problems with having their genitals touched, and who identify as being stone.

Have I entered the Twilight Zone? WTF?

SilverStone, really, who are you? Only the owners, admins and mods determine who is allowed to participate in a thread! This is not "your house"!

This Website is my house, my lesbian sisters, femmes that don't ID as lesbians, female ID and masculine ID butches, transfolks, queers, bi's and anyone that damn well feels that they belong.

Never have I felt such hostility from anyone on the Planet due to my lesbian identity!

Anyone that knows me from my posts knows I go out of my way to be accepting of everyone.

Your posts and attitudes are simply unacceptable and it shocks me that you are so defensive.

As Bulldog posted: you don't get to post a "Lesbians keep out" sign!

jac 04-14-2012 05:54 PM
This thread has made me wonder and think all freakin’ day long.

I am a lesbian female, a woman that loves women. I have no intention of changing my gender. I like being a woman that loves women. However, I do so enjoy sex a specific way and that way is determined between my partner and myself. It changes and grows and fluctuates as time goes on…

Yes, I have said I am a stone on this site and even my name has stone in it because this was how I was seeing myself when I was in question years ago. But really... seriously... what is stone? It's each individual's perspective of who they are and what they want.

I am realizing more and more as I get older that I don’t particularly care for the labeling like I use to. It’s not going to change who I am to “say” I am this or that. I know who I am and my partner knows who I am… and really that is all that matters anymore. To look at me walking down the street one would think I was a typical white Caucasian with fair skin and blonde hair but in all reality I am three-quarters Spanish. Does this mean I need to go around saying “Hey I’m so and so and I am Spanish so get it right,” I don’t think so.

I do prefer the more masculine pronouns but if Joe Blow passes me by and refers to me by a feminine pronoun I am not going to freak on his ass. What purpose will that serve me? To be rude to another human-being will only be demeaning to the person I am, a loving, caring compassionate individual. Maybe I’m talking in riddles and not making much sense to the readers of this thread but basically I am saying I am comfortable being me, having sex with my partner as we do, and living my life in peace.

So OP the issue from what I see is not who you are and what you like or prefer but how you disrespected others… Let’s all work to have a little understanding of one another and compassion for each other and if that is just too much to ask for, then let’s try to find a point of agreeing to disagree and move along and past all of this.

If this is the “home” that we are to come to as a stone, I will continue searching… cause home shouldn’t feel this painful and sad. Home shouldn’t have all this fighting and bickering….

SilverStoneFemme 04-14-2012 05:58 PM
Butches who are masculine, not woman identified, who use the pronoun hy and not she, who do not wish their genitalia to be touched in any way, who don't want their bodies to be touched in any kind of feminizing manner, and who are butchcock-centric, is a legitimate gender identity.

Repeat, this is a legitimate gender identity.

If this is not who you are, then this simply means this is not who you are.

You have the opportunity to create another thread which utilizes you own personal gender identity as a basis.

BullDog 04-14-2012 06:01 PM
Wow that sure is a mouthful. You sound like you are giving a definition of what you think stone butch is and you don't even id that way.


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