Always2Late's Friendship Survey
 

Always2Late wrote:

3) Describe a time someone cut you off as a friend.

A friend once cut me off when she remarried. I was friends with both her and her ex-husband, and I think it made her and/or her new husband uncomfortable.

I hate it when that happens. I've had a similar experience when I lost friends who "went" with an Ex. It stings at first, but then I decided, they weren't a true friend, after all. And then even later, when I'm not feeling hurt at all, I can look at it is, they're just confused about what "loyalty" is, and are trying to do the right thing but messing up in the process.

11) How many years have you known your oldest friend? How have you managed to stay friends, over time?

I've known my oldest friend for almost 40 years. We've managed to stay friends for so long because our friendship is built on understanding and on mutual trust and respect. There have been times in our friendship where we haven't been in contact for months, due to work or other obligations, but we've always been able to come together again, and the friendship picks up right where we left off.

That's the magical thing about long-lasting friendships—they don't atrophy during time apart. I don't know why that is, but I keep hearing it as a characteristic of a long-term friend. I've been thinking, it has to do with both people being pretty accepting of others. You accept each other at one phase in life, and then you re-accept their changed self in another phase of life. I think people who are less accepting of other people, who are more rigid and judgmental, have a harder time maintaining long-term friendships. Just a theory of course. :)

10) Describe a time that you “outgrew” a friend, if applicable.

I had a friend who wanted to bar/club-hop every weekend and just couldn't understand why I, as a single mother, could not do so. She ended up getting annoyed with me because, as she put it, "You never want to do anything fun anymore." I realized that we were in different places in our lives and our friendship kind of fizzled out.

Ha ha I have to kind of laugh at how clueless your friend sounds. For you at that time, fun was probably having three hours of uninterrupted sleep, and dressing up probably meant wearing something that didn't have baby vomit on it. :)

Scout

Blade's Friendship Survey
 

Blade wrote:

15) Describe a time when you really came through for a friend.

I had a friend who was being released from prison. She couldn't be released until she had a place to live and a job. I went to her previous job and ask them to hire her back, and I told her she could live at my house as long as she was drug free. I let her drive my truck to work every night.

Wow. That is trust. It must have felt so validating to her, to be trusted by you, to that degree.

16) Describe a time a friend really came through for you.

He let me use his credit card to buy a fridge. I had bought 3 used ones in one year and the last one went out the first week of June last year. I paid him back, but had he not been generious enough to do that for me, I guess I still wouldn't have a working fridge.

What a nice guy, your friend, to loan out his credit card like that. And what a relief for you, to finally get a good fridge.

It sounds like you trust others, and they trust you. Only good can come of that! :)

enjoying the thread