Thank you kindly. You do make a good point. I did not at all intend to make it about "experiences with homosexual pedophilia". That has never actually crossed my mind or been a "blame" I placed for these past many years. And I wasn't aware that I was coming into a gay male thread because it was posted under Gender And Identity, Other Sexualities and Identities. Thank you for giving me a new perspective. Maybe next time I won't be so apt to post out of frustration about harm to children. Your support is much appreciated. If I hadn't been so frustrated or suffering from some remaining PTSD about things, I would have expressed what you did so eloquently in the highlighted statement above.

http://youtu.be/oXcWGbRUnok

look for the hidden subliminal Phallic messages.

No matter the definitions of furry fetishes or role-play- and this does cover sexual activity in some cases. The point is that a 12 year old kid is saying he is uncomfortable with this exposure and his custodial parent is unaware of this situation. It also isn't about parents changing their behavior based upon this kid's feelings. This is about a kid feeling "forced" to be involved in a parent's fetish in terms of a public display. There doesn't need to be any sexual component at all involved.

It seems to me that both parents need to deal with this in a communicative manner with their child. They also need to educate themselves about the developmental stage he is in and also what (if any) negative effects forcing a kid to be involved in events and activities surrounding this fetish. This has no bearing on the father's continuing to act out his fetish desires- just without the kid being present.

I do find it odd that in a situation where parents are sharing custody that the father here would plan activities around this part of his life while spending time with his kid. Anyone that has had this experience knows how tough it is to spend time with your kid and usually one focuses on alone time with their kids in these situations. Something is off with this picture beyond this particular insistence on this kid being coerced in this one situation.

The bottom line is that his mother needs to be involved with what is going on here and these parents need to work out boundaries around this that attend to their son's feelings. Anything that could in anyway have a sexual meaning to a 12 year old or involve power dynamics that are between consenting adults could very well be felt by a 12 year old in ways adults can't imagine (or accurately remember). I would want to know exactly what it is that causes the discomfort and how he is viewing it from his pre-teen perspective. The hell with the adult perspectives- he isn't an adult. His perceptions of collars for example can be very different that adults with knowledge about the full range of sexual expression and non-explicit sexual expression that is related to adult relationship dynamics. This isn’t a cut and dried situation at all.

Okay, show me. I drew a concrete line that I think is reasonable: sexuality at the level of fetishes is not appropriate for 12yo's. I welcome any cooperative attempt to present me with an alternative to consider.

I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.

I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old.

In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume.

*I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice?

I was asked to clarify what I meant in this post. I'm not inclined to cite specific examples until that is absolutely necessary. The direct message from the mod/admin team is just this: Be respectful in your exchanges with other members.

It is obvious that we are going to see opposing points of views regardless of the topic being discussed. It is obvious, too, that members have history. Our personal experiences (both here and outside of this community) play into how and what we post.

We (mod/admin) are looking to have a place at the table for ALL where differences are celebrated rather than criticized.

And, no, this isn't "Pollyanna bullsh*t". It's actually possible. And it's not just in this thread; it's discussions everywhere, even outside of the forums here at bfp.

The furry tail is like flagging in the Leather world. At least that's what I was told.

I hope that after all this sound advice Okie & Red have a sit down with the parents and advocate for the distraught child, and that Mom sets some heavy boundaries on how when it comes to her man cub NO ONE is to keep ANYTHING from her, ever again!

I respect your opinion but this is Oklahoma and kids are pointing at them in public "rednecks" are making comments and poor Nick is having to set there and take it cause his father thinks it's best for him.

I don't think anyone is normal! I don't subscribe to normal. I don't agree with normal! I do though think responsibility is the key question here. Red and I have different opinions about a lot of things and we respect those opinions. That is where I am upset. Nick's opinion should be respected and he is totally freaked out about being subjected to the public ridicule.

Peace!

Andrea,

Thanks for you input! I'll defer to totally disagree with you.

Nick learned that his fathers furry slave was really a man from my nephew who is also 12 and figured it out the first time he met her.

She calls Nicks dad master in front of him and makes him wait hand and foot on Nicks dad when Nick is present with out any explanation. The only place he is not allowed to present this type of behavior is in our home. I personally do not like that imagine being burned into Nicks mind.

Dear Community,

My sole purpose for this post was to ask for help with our nephew. I have know further comment other than thank you for those of you who truly understood my concerns for Nick! Thank you for all of your opinions but this has turned into way more than I ever expected. It was all about a little 12 year old boy named Nick and nothing else.

Peace!

Oy vey
 

First of all The furrie is a WOMAN not a man, i hope that was explained to all The children, can we have some sensitivity for The MTF members of our community, and have you or Red taken The time and let unknown parent know said child is distraught?

I hope that whatever you decide to do or not do works out the best way possible for the child and that you are able to find healthy answers for yourself as well.

It sounds like all children need to educated on transgendered peoples, open communications with all parents and I hope distraught child is heard, unknowing parent told and Dad sat down for a heart to heart regarding distraught Childs feelings

Red and I don't even know what it is like to come out of because we have never been in.

I truly respect everyone's thoughts and opinions but I have to say I am way overwhelmed with the many responses that have nothing to do with how we help our nephew!

Peace!

I believe many people have adviced you to tell Mom what is going on with her man child, Dad should be approached and child educated on trans people. Good luck!

If a kid talks to anyone, be grateful. Then that person can make it safe for them to talk to the parents/guardians, as is appropriate in most cases.

There are an awful lot of details about this that, in my opinion, don't bear at all on the real issue. To me, the real issue is that this child feels trapped and is looking to find alternative routes to aid. It sounds to me like Okie and Red are continuing in a good direction.

Dear Lady Snow!

No she is not a woman she doesn't claim to be a woman, she id's as a transgendered furry female who makes sure the male identifying body parts are very well displayed in the tight spandex pants she wears. She likes to make sure everyone knows she is a biological male and she has stated that she has no wish transform but likes being addressed at a woman.

I have complete sensitivity to our transgendered members. This however is not one. I ask that you do not jump to conclusions about my thoughts or feelings about our Transgendered community members. I totally respect all of them and support their journey.

Peace!

Um Okie one does not have to transition to be know they are woman!
I'm sorry but you also need to educate yourself on transpeoples.

Call me crazy, but I think educating this boy on transgendering would be pretty far down in the developmental curriculum at this particular juncture. Especially with "hands-on" (meant figuratively) learning.

Why? Transpeoples exist, why shouldn't the child be educated? Everyone should know transgendered folks are out there, it's not harmful to any child.

That sounds great if anyone can figure out what is going on at all. But right now, you have an acute situation. It's about where this kid is. Before you can sit down and explain the larger picture, you have to help him deal with the fact that he's in a desperate spot now. Of course, the underlying problem there is that they didn't approach the bigger picture with maturity and sensitivity to begin with. But right now, he is not reachable that way.

And I just want to establish now that anything that comes out of my mouth is necessarily my opinion. That's why I don't find it necessary to remind everyone.

The obvious choice has not been made, not all parents know child is distraught, add transphobic thinking and now it's a huge gross mess. Poor kid!

I'm talking about THIS child. See above. I tell my kid about everything. Even fetishes. (Maybe not all, but he sure knows some examples.) I tell it as it comes up, and sometimes preemptively.

:|
 

Um Tapu I never gave your kid a thought, I was refering to OP's nephew not Tapu's kid, what's your deal?

Huh? No, I meant where you said "children" need to learn about transgendering. I'm saying I totally agree and that mine does learn these things. But I'm saying that the general thing right for 'children" is not appropriate NOW in the situation with this child who is going to other relatives with his pain.

We're cool, I believe. Yes?

Lady Snow! Please do not assume you have the right to tell me on what subject matter I need to be educated on. The woman in question has point blank stated that she is not a woman, she just likes to id as a furry female and be addressed as a female. She does not embrace being a female what so ever, it is her way of gender fucking and she would be the first to tell you that.

I am now going to completely step away from conversing with you on this subject matter.

Peace!

:| then why refer to her as transgender? Sooo confused, maybe cross dresser? I dunno I'm now just as distraught as said child.. :goodluck:

Shit Tapu at this point I'm confused!!! Thanks for clarifying though:)

Okie,
That age is very difficult. I’m sure the boy is embarrassed to deal with someone and something that is so out of the normal range of behavior. From the very limited amount of information you’ve provided, I would suggest discussing the issue with the mom and the dad. Maybe they can figure out what is really going on here.
It's just that your nephew is embarrassed to be seen with them, right? Maybe the child can openly discuss what’s going on with him. He can tell his dad he’s embarrassed and would rather not go out in public with them. Maybe his dad would make some concessions if he realizes how embarrassed and unprepared the child is to deal with this.
Would you be okay with your nephew spending time with the dad and partner if the child is okay with it?

The definition I found at urban dictionary:

Ok, an attempt at a balanced definition. I am NOT a furry but both sides hear me out before reaching for that thumbs down.

Furries are a relatively recent phenomenon which has been catapulted into near-mainstreamness almost solely because of the internet. It is obvious furries are very much victims of tarring the majority with the brush of an "unappealing" minority.

In the simplest sense furries are fans of anthropromorphic animals. That is, animals with human like features or tendencies (Fox McCloud, Sonic the Hedgehog... etc) pretty much all furries will create their own character or "fursona" for use as an art model and roleplaying, the designs of which vary wildly dependant on the artists skill and eye for contrasting colours (You get both amazing and appalling furry artists, and a wide skill range between these two) some furries can work wonders when it comes to creating a character on second life

The above paragraph is an apt description of your standard "furry", however there is a small but VERY vocal minority of the "yiff yiff" kind of division. Even though this sort of furry probably only takes up 1/10th of the fandom this is by FAR the type you hear about most often from anti-furry biased sources.

Furry porn is dangerously close to bestiality. Sorry to anyone who likes it, but it is... However the ones who like it seem to be in a minority, with the ones ...