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I was told today that I should live on the edge. So many things to consider. :hanging::fallenangel:
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Some frustration. Some sadness. But overall, a different thought process, of a situation in my life. Which i know, with time, honesty, digging deep within & hard work - i'll find peace & be able to move forward.... my two parents, - i'm an only child. i've spent 39 years seeking their attention and approval. Most days, i would give ANYthing to feel that love returned, to feel their encouragement and to know they are proud of me.. i've made SO many changes this passed year, positive, hard & necessary changes.. i see them miserable in their own lives, and deep down i know they don't have room to see outside of that.. i know, i need to let go & move forward. Advice to me this week, at my OA meeting Monday night.. "you won't get a healthy relationship from an unhealthy person." i love my parents, very much.. But they aren't supportive of good decisions in my life and continue to try and knock me down.. Allowing them to do that is far, far behind me now.. Detaching, with love ♥ |
Too much tonight
Sadness, frustration, lonliness. Just wanting to be understood and accepted for how i am.:seeingstars: Even with all that, my glass is half full and i have hope. My days are always happy and smiling because its what i choose.
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Way to much for to many nights in a row, saddens, mistrust, disbelieve, loneliness, fear, you can only bang your head against the wall so many times before you get one hell of a migraine. How many times does it take it to be heard really heard. How many times I am not going to learn from past mistakes. To much way to much for to many nights in a row.
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That my head & heart are in the right place :)
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Quote:
Hey man, I know it may not feel like it now, but everything is going to be ok. |
Quote:
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I have such a peace of mind knowing in every relationship - I have been loyal, truthful and faithful - Unfortunately, not everyone can say that ... for me, in doing so - I know my Fem Gem awaits!
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Thinking about long drives in the car and considering all the possible outcomes when I reach my destination. :flowers:
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Hustling to send out a birthday present to my granddaughter in southern US, heading into work and then off to pick up my grandson for a sleepover/party toddler style!! Let's see movies, pizza, s'mores.... What else? Hmmmmm... Of course... a call to my amazing girlfriend for our nightly ear whispers!! :cheesy:
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That every person I meet in life if only for a brief second, a short stay, or ones that have been there for so many years everything about them is etched in My memory has added to My experience and knowledge what more can somebody ask for. Except of course the continued journey and the reward that I know is waiting for Me at the end of that journey.
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Wondering what My experience here on the Planet will be like now that there is an inhabitant of out site that actually knows Me in real life and has known Me for years.
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:SCREAMING like a little girl:
im so excited i could puke project is done and off to the next stages its almost full blown reality! |
i think a lot, about hobbies, things i want to try, things i want to learn. things i want to accomplish, & ways i want to make a difference.. i had pushed myself into isolation for years & years, and i think back now and can actually see the opportunities i passed up.. i won't live in regret, however.. That is something i've always refused to do. i believe in learning the lessons and applying that to my 'today'.. And so here i am, 39 years old and ready to take on life, and make up for missed time.. i have so many things i want to try, some silly & fun and some very important and lifechanging.. i'm chasing dreams, & making them happen, one step at a time.. It's a LONG list, but i'm up for the challenge ♥ |
:hk19: <<< this today and can't wait to do it again on our Sun day together.
:hk15: <<< beautiful, sweet, happy baby girl! |
My Mother is on my mind. I love her. Lots and lots. MOST of the times. Then there are times like our last conversation that I end up feeling like I'm 5 again and stealing cookies before dinner.
And this is why we live thousands of miles apart. It makes it easier to love each other as much as we do. LOL! |
So this is what having 2 full time jobs feels like. Goodnight folks!!
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drums
I want an accoustic drumset - real bad. See, I have been taking lessons for about 4-5 months now, and I am at a point where this electric set I have just isn't cutting it. To hell with the neighbors, I have a dream...! :drummer:
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my long drive home tomorrow after work.... I just want to get home to my puppies and kick back in my 'safe haven' ...
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To the jackass that spent 15 minutes staring at me yesterday, your thoughts were loud and clear; "Is that a guy or a girl?" I have an answer for you......
Fuck off |
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