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grinnnn
coffee quest...
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I got another for you....
Not sure the jest of the conversation but I have an idea where this stemmed from.... a response from one kid to another - "it's kinda like a mo-ped, it's a fun ride till your friends find out!" :blink: Oy!! |
A whispered answer...
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Steve Harvey was on Ellen this morning and he was talking about a family they had on Family Feud. The question....name a word that begins with pork...answer...cupine. That cracked me up.
His sister said (what Steve thought was..) lawn. He says lawn? As in your front lawn? She says...no, lawn (loin) then spelled it L I O N! Funny shit. |
this week at work. . co-workers.
watching pranks on youtube and discussing how we should do security pranks after messing with some associates. scoring a bunch of snacks and monster drinks after an event closing, everyone raiding it! haha! fun times at work, have to stay full of laughter when it's not time to be serious. :p this >>> LOL! |
Punxsutawney Phil 'indicted' over spring forecast
CINCINNATI - Authorities in still-frigid Ohio have issued an "indictment" of the furry rodent, who predicted an early spring when he didn't see his shadow after emerging from his western Pennsylvania lair on Feb. 2. "Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early," Mike Gmoser, the prosecutor in southwestern Ohio's Butler County, wrote in an official-looking indictment. Gmoser wrote that Punxsutawney Phil is charged with misrepresentation of spring, which constitutes a felony "against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio." The penalty Phil faces? Gmoser says — tongue firmly in cheek — is death. Punxsutawney Phil does not have a listed phone number. Bill Deeley, president of the Punxsutawney club that organizes Groundhog Day, said Phil has a lawyer and would fight any extradition attempt by Ohio authorities. Deeley defended his fur-bearing associate and said the death penalty was "very harsh" given the nature of the allegations. "We'll have to plead our case one way or the other, but I think we can beat the rap," Deeley said. The vitriolic backlash on social media to Phil's dead-wrong prognostication has not gone unnoticed in and around Gobbler's Knob, Deeley said, and special security precautions were in place. "Right next to where Phil stays is the police station," he said. "They've been notified and they said they will keep watching their monitors." Winter has been dragging on in the Buckeye State and surrounding areas, with daily high temperatures this week hovering in the mid-30s and no end in sight for about 10 days, said Don Hughes, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Wilmington, Ohio. A storm moving into the region Sunday could bring between 4 and 8 inches of snow, he said. "It's taking too long," Hughes said, adding that he's hearing plenty of complaints from colleagues and neighbors about the late spring. "Most people I've talked to say they've had enough. They want spring. They're looking for colors and sunshine and Easter lilies." The frigid temperatures and snow might be particularly hard to swallow after last spring, when the U.S. saw the warmest March in recorded history. Highs in the Cincinnati area, for instance, were well into the 80s. Hughes said this spring isn't nearly the coldest on record but that the area is about 5 degrees below normal. Gmoser's indictment made no mention of a possible co-conspirator in the false prediction of early spring, Ohio's own forecasting groundhog, Buckeye Chuck. Chuck also failed to see his shadow when he emerged from his burrow on Feb. 2 in Marion in north-central Ohio. -------------- :blink: I'm thinking the insanity defense might work in this one. Just not sure which side should use it. |
Being told Im not a country girl ! LOL
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My 4 yr old nephew twice this week.
Yesterday, my mom gave him a jar for bugs yesterday. He had a couple worms and a potato bug last time I saw it. We found the EMPTY jar this morning in the clothes hamper. No idea where the bugs are. :blink: Today, he came out of the bathroom saying he was taking a crap and had cut his penis off. My niece (his mom) asked him if she could see it. He told her 'no, I just need to walk it off' and started walking laps around the island in the kitchen. I LOVE THIS KID |
Cracked me up
My friend stopped by on her way to work said: Your on layaway! WTF (lol)
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Here we go again..... :pointing:
kid: what's for dinner? staff: ummmm I think..... well, not sure. me:chicken burger. or maybe it was turkey burger. kid: wtf? me:it's some kind of fowl (foul) burger!! Now go eat... I love a good play on words!! :superfunny: |
My girl and I texting this morning....................... :rofl:
She was telling me something about work... I responded with: "Then stay on that ass and make her accountable for her position!" She replied with: "Ooh that sounds dirty." :cracked: Rereading that, it does sound dirty!! Lmao!! :superfunny: |
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It's a Juji story................
me: so where are you from? juji: my mommy right? me: well yeh but where were you born? juji: i wasn't born. me: what? were you hatched from an egg? juji: noooooo i just am. me: let's try this again. i was born in florida. mommy was born in mississippi. so where were you born? juji: in maine bub (short for boobeh but also how mainers speak) me: does this mean you're a mainer? juji: yessah, i'm a mainah bub! I know my daughter has issues with not hearing the "r". :superfunny: I, on the other hand love how he sounds!! :rofl: |
juji: noooooo i just am.
The kid's got something there. |
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...followed by....I know you can, I know you can, I know you can....LMBO!
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While at the auction Friday night I had to use the restroom. I went in did my thing and turned around to flush the toilet and said damn that looks like my bluetooth in the toilet. Without thinking WOOOSH my hand went straight down in the toilet to retrieve my "priceless" electronic. As I brought it up, I was thinking well at least it wasn't poop, in the water...EWWWWW it was pee. And how stupid is that you know it won't work now that it has been in water.
I washed my hands, dried off the bluetooth, stuck it in my ear and turned it on. OMG it still worked and has worked just fine since then. Then I cracked up laughing. A $20 bluetooth was worth so much to me that without even thinking I stuck my hand in toilet water, hopefully with only my pee in it to get my bluetooth out. I don't know where the bluetooth fell from. I had left my phone in the truck, and don't remember if I put the device in my coat pocket or if it was still in my ear. At any rate, you can rest assured I don't carry it around in my mouth by the hook on the earpiece anymore. On a side note, it is hard to find a bluetooth that fits my ear and that I can hear well. World of Wally doesn't carry this model anymore. |
Quote:
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My nephews bought my mom an octopus splash and spray for her 71st birthday LOL
https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...54984000_n.jpg |
I've been referring to the kids as Ma'am and Sir for the past couple of week... or Miss and Mr. Today I was talking to one guy and said something ending it with Sir... and three other guys responded!! :cracked:
A little respect goes a long way... they're learning! :D |
Cracked
My cat and as I call it her cat-attitde! Im hoping im not the only one with a strange pet! (lol)
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