Silly me.
 

Arriving home to find my favorite old cat, Joey, sitting on the porch roof, I could swear he was smiling.

2 days later still cracking up..
 

“it’s like a studio NY Apartment up in there "

:rofl::giggle::superfunny:

Seeing my big macho dad jump sky high out of his chair during a horror movie!

Briar accidently learned to jump on the couch today. When she did it the 2nd time and realized what she had done she was soooo proud of herself lol.

You are teaching her to be bad, and it cracks me up to hear and watch you have so much fun with it.

:lol2:

I have very few neighbors so I took the chance that none of them were awake and within sight of my porch at 3:45am when puppy Briar had to pee. So I'm standing there in just my undies, with Briar on her extenda-leash when short little WooBear sets off the motion sensor spot light aimed at the porch.... Gave new meaning to duck-n-run.

Last Sunday
 

The store clerk handed Blade an item of clothing that had a small Star Trek symbol on it.. as Blade turned to go into the fitting room, he says in a very cheerful tone "oh great, may the Force be with me!"

that's my,knucklehead best friend. He had 2 store clerks cracking up

This is my life.

ME: Getting the internet will also be good for when the kids are here. It will give them something to do when they can't play outside.

MOM: Where are we going to put it?

ME: Put what?

MOM: The internet. Will we need to get a table or cabinet to put it on? How big is it?

ME: ummmmm the internet is HUGE! :|

Finding old pictures of myself from when I was a baby. As well as a teenager. OMG the huge hair, I swear I used 2 cans of hairspray for that height!

At dinner at pizza shop
 

Blade getting cracked up so much his face turned red and he had to wipe his eyes.

And it all started on a joke about a Free Puppy Kisses booth.

Ordering a chicken Alfredo pizza but they forgot the Alfredo. :byebye:

OMG! There was actually a lady at the grocery store today with curlers in her hair yes yellow curlers. You know the plastic kind from the 60s and 70s. I never thought in this day and age that I would be traumatized that way ever again

While I am quietly watching a softball game on TV my roomie is sitting across the room pecking on her phone. Suddenly she yells...nut not but! I said what? She said I don't want BUT I want NUT! I said umm 👌, amd we both cracked up

Since when do you watch a softball game quietly? If Skippy could talk, he'd back me up.

I was just texting with a classmate about a paper we have to write. I meant to type that it was a bitch but my phone typed...it was a butch. Lol...my phone might have outed me. Not that it isn't obvious just by looking at me.

Straight men exist? Straight men exist.
 

Over this past weekend I had occasion to laugh at myself.

So, for quite some time now, most of the men I interact with in my life on a regular basis are either gay, related to me, and/or 20+ years older than I am and married. Single straight men of my age group don't really exist in my world (and, you know, I'm actually okay with that... :p).

Anywaaaay...

So the other day some guy I met gave me his number (hey, that's not the funny part... :sunglass:). We were just chatting about whatever and he suggested meeting up some time at a local hang out spot and I was all like, "yeah, sure, that'd be fun!", proceeded to exchange numbers, and he seemed pretty happy about the whole thing. It was all very friendly and innocent (or so I thought). And then I said something like "and hey, feel free to bring your lady or gentleman friend along too, if you have one. The more, the merrier." And he just kind of looked at me. And so I looked at him. And he looked at me. And then as I continued looking at him, it slowly began to dawn on me. Oh... shit. Wait, did I just get asked out by a straight guy? Ohhhhh... Whoops.

I was so oblivious to the fact that he 1) actually thought I was straight (or bi, whatever) and 2) was asking me out that I swear I just stared at him blankly for what must have seemed like an eternity, waiting for my brain to finally catch up. It hadn't even occurred to me that straight men my age still existed! It was like a scene from The Office. If you looked close enough, you probably could have seen an Error 404 message pop up in my eyeballs. :blink:

"Oh, you meant---"
"Well, yeah, but---"
"Oh, nononononono, I mean, it's okay bu---"
"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I---"
"No, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Actually..."

And, yeah...

It was all very awkward for all parties involved. And I now have a bit more appreciation for when butches talk about being a 2x4 butch because, yeah, apparently I'm a 2x4 femme (when it comes to straight men, anyway).

And it totally made me think of that meme from the BFP Instagram page:


So, long story short, if any cis male-oriented folks are attracted to the Dudley Do-Right type, I have the number of a very nice (and confused) park ranger for you! :p

There are a couple of flies on the frame surrounding the screen on my laptop. I could not understand why my cursor wasn't moving them away from the laptop.

Twice.

smh

I called to some company in order to acquire services...
At some point, their automatized system asked about my destination of origin: Puerto Rico, I responded with my natural Puerto Rican accent...
Immediately the system responded: hmmm lets try again...and, we did try...one, two three four times...
When we were about to go to the fifth time into the same question I was: :| Really?!?! Are you telling me that after all these years I don't know how to pronounce my country name?! Then, quickly, like in a a whisper the thought surprised me: You need to speak in English to them!!
Soooo, there I was, using my best English and saying: pwerto reko...
Welllll...allow me to tell you that it did work!

Yes, that made me laugh in disbelief ...while rolling my eyes and shaking my head...

On the other hand, it looks like I'm improving on my Inglés...sighs...

Welcome to my world! lol

:seeingstars:

https://www.today.com/news/nasa-s-st...cs-metroweb-dc


Lol dueling iguanas!

When fur baby 1 passed gas in her sleep & fur baby 2 jumped from fright & barked at fur baby 1's backside & then fur baby 1 wakes up & joins in & barks at her own backside.... Omg my ribs are still hurting...

Hmmm odd wrong link sorry. This is why i hate posting from a cell Lol.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/pair-igua...170123858.html

There how about now?

"I guess if you have the brake on, it's hard to back up."

Mom showing everyone her zebra stripped underwear before I corralled her to tie the back of her hospital gown. Then her proceeding to tell me they matched her bra. :huhlaugh:

Haha! Your story cracked me up.

:thumbsup:

Lol...it was alarming and amusing.

My eldest. ..

She again reaffirmed my previous opinion that she REALLY needs to marry well...

She called me to ask.if a 13x9 pan was the same as a 9x13 pan....she was making browies and didon't want to ruin them. Took everything in me not to laugh out loud. .......

Sitting at the table after lunch with my 7 yr. old nephew, Jefferson. He starts singing I Love Rock and Roll. It went like this. I love rock and roll put another dime in the JUICE BOX baby!

We were sitting at dinner at Firehouse Subs when Blade turns his phone to me and says "I've been hacked!! How did they get into my account without my password? See? (Me looking puzzled) They sent a message out to all my contacts saying I been hacked. How do I let everybody know that wasn't me?"

Me: I don't know. Just capture it and send out another message.
Him: What is capture? How do I capture?
Me: copy. You'll figure it out.

Some time passes then he turns his phone to me again, as I'm reading the screen I'm not hearing what he's saying...but I look over to him and say "Look, knucklehead, that's a "Memory"...Facebook showed you a Memory of your own post from a year ago. You weren't hacked." Causing me to laugh hard as I crossed my eyes at him. My best knucklehead friend is never boring.

I'm house sitting way out in the country for a friend.
A skinny, very young, man with his shinny white legs showing below his shorts knocked on the door, startling me, making my two tiny dogs go all guard-dog-big-bark on him.
In all the years I've been at this house, I've never had visitors. It's very strange to have a stranger stop here.
When I opened the door, he asked "do you still use Satellite TV?"... I look at him puzzled, he pointed to the dish on the roof.
By then, the real big dog in the back yard was going nuts trying to knock down the 8 foot high fence.
The kid repeats "Do you use Satellite TV?" ...to which I smile and say "No, we use WiFi for the Roku box."....He started a sales pitch for Dish and asked if he could go around back to check the old cable connection box? (door to door sales guys all the way out here are very rare. But we do have a problem of people going to houses on false pretenses to "scan" properties for future thefts when no one is home)...he nearly ran off the porch when I said "It's not a good time right now. You see that monster 100 pound dog? He ate the last sales guy then chewed through all the cables and ripped them off the brick wall. (Which was partially true.)

I am laughing so loud that I probably owe the upstairs neighbor a week's worth of groceries.

Picture this: Marathon sexy time with JD and we finish in a flush of "OMG...that was amazing" and "Is there any foooooooddd?"

I get online and find that Domino's is still delivering and fill up our cart with chicken wings and cheesy bread because sometimes nasty time requires nasty food. :D

And then, JD looks at me and says, "You have a beautiful Puss-Cow."

:jester:

There's a WHOOLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE other story involved with the puss-cow but I'm laughing too hard to tell it.

:jester::jester::jester::jester::jester:

Cracked me up
 

Seems that whenever I wear my shirt with the badge weird things happen. This morning at breakfast a stranger walked up to me and asked me to clean up a spill that she caused. She thought that I worked for the hotel, ha!

When I got to Base people thought that I was security and asked for directions to the conference. Haha!

:cheesy:

The way Tashi jump and dance around me as I was singing dr. Hook to her. I don't know if she liked it or if she was begging me to shut up