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-   -   What Cracked You Up Today? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=525)

Chad 09-09-2019 10:26 PM

Cracked me up
 
I was thinking about my friend in NYC today and just cracked up. He is usually measured but I could see him clearly in my mind. He sits at the table and looks down like he is looking at the menu and out of no where comes a zinger. I look at him with his head still down but a sweet smile on his face. He knew that he got us.

:cowboy:

Kenna 09-23-2019 08:03 PM

When I got to the grocery store check out, the clerk laughed when she saw pickles and 2 tubs of ice cream and asked if I was pregnant. I cracked up and responded "I hope not at my age!"
I had to crack up again because it was Blade who asked me to get sweet pickles and chocolate ice cream.

Bčsame* 10-19-2019 08:40 PM

It was yesterday actually. I had put lace trim on the bottom of two pairs of shorts. Put them away. Took out a pair to wear yesterday. Hmmmm, sat down, ouch!

I apparently forgot to take off the pins around one leg.

I had brought those shorts with me on vacation, but I never wore them! Lol

Chad 11-08-2019 09:56 AM

Cracked me up
 
At Physical Therapy this morning at 7:00 am I had everyone cracking up. I like to incorporate dance moves into my exercises to make it fun. The team got into it and we had a great time laughing and having fun. What a great way to start the day.

:dance2: :happyjump:

Bčsame* 11-25-2019 08:57 AM

Eat salad they said.
It's healthy they said.
You know what never gets recalled?

Cake!
#teamcake

homoe 11-25-2019 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bčsame* (Post 1257584)
Eat salad they said.
It's healthy they said.
You know what never gets recalled?

Cake!
#teamcake


........:goodpost:...

homoe 11-26-2019 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bčsame* (Post 1257584)
Eat salad they said.
It's healthy they said.
You know what never gets recalled?

Cake!
#teamcake

Correct me if I'm wrong but another item I never recollect them re-calling ...:eatinghersheybar: ya chocolate!!

RebelDyke 04-09-2020 12:33 PM

Ever since this covid thing cancelling schools and pushing classes all online, my desk and the area around my desk now has so much technology set up around it and near it that it looks like a cockpit to a very intense machine... lol the learning machine :hamactor:

that is what cracks me up...

AND ...i do not know how many times i have said to people how i could NOT handle a job i where i go to the same office day in and day out.. THANKS COVID! for making my dream job a job i now find painful...:blink::blink:

A. Spectre 05-23-2020 08:01 AM

Damn Funny Craigslist Ads


*1979 Dodge Star Wars van, REALLY

*Prick on the Wild Wings patio

*Toilet paper seeds

*Free snowman

*Snow cat limo

*Spot in lineup

*1999 Toyota Corolla Fine AF

Kätzchen 05-24-2020 05:52 PM

The Two-Ton Rock Sofa Craiglist Ad
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by A. Spectre (Post 1268636)
Damn Funny Craigslist Ads


*1979 Dodge Star Wars van, REALLY

*Prick on the Wild Wings patio

*Toilet paper seeds

*Free snowman

*Snow cat limo

*Spot in lineup

*1999 Toyota Corolla Fine AF

That has got to be one of the best past-times, lol. I love to browse Craigslist ads just for that reason. You never know what you'll find over there!

How about this ad? Simply hilarious, if you ask me! *LOL* :jester:

https://canyouactually.com/wp-conten...s/84324568.png

Blade 07-01-2020 09:20 AM

While riding around yesterday I took a Prevacid out of my pocket and then couldn't open my bottle of water while holding my pill. I told my buddy here hold my 💊. She said is that like hold my beer? We both cracked up and I said "how do you know you're getting older? When you say here hold my 💊 instead of here hold my beer.😂😂😂😂😂😂

chanel 07-03-2020 04:54 PM

In my parking lot this morning there was a bunny just sitting there in the middle of the road. He looked at my car, but didn't seem troubled at all. Then pulling up to my complex's gate, as the gate was sliding to the right, there was a squirrel running frantically the other way. He then took a confused leap to the tree on the other side.

I think I drove through a Disney movie?

homoe 07-04-2020 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chanel (Post 1271142)
In my parking lot this morning there was a bunny just sitting there in the middle of the road. He looked at my car, but didn't seem troubled at all. Then pulling up to my complex's gate, as the gate was sliding to the right, there was a squirrel running frantically the other way. He then took a confused leap to the tree on the other side.

I think I drove through a Disney movie?

Who knows, next you might run across a meerkat and warthog singing Hakuna Matata

C0LLETTE 07-04-2020 02:44 PM

There's a guy walking around my neighbourhood dressed up as a Canada Goose trying to rouse some enthusiasm for Canada Day which was 3 days ago. I don't want to be the one to break it to him.

Kenna 07-17-2020 12:41 AM

LMAO! This memory cracked me up.
I wonder what fun I will have when I house sit again for the same friends in a couple weeks?


Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenna (Post 1220717)
I'm house sitting way out in the country for a friend.
A skinny, very young, man with his shinny white legs showing below his shorts knocked on the door, startling me, making my two tiny dogs go all guard-dog-big-bark on him.
In all the years I've been at this house, I've never had visitors. It's very strange to have a stranger stop here.
When I opened the door, he asked "do you still use Satellite TV?"... I look at him puzzled, he pointed to the dish on the roof.
By then, the real big dog in the back yard was going nuts trying to knock down the 8 foot high fence.
The kid repeats "Do you use Satellite TV?" ...to which I smile and say "No, we use WiFi for the Roku box."....He started a sales pitch for Dish and asked if he could go around back to check the old cable connection box? (door to door sales guys all the way out here are very rare. But we do have a problem of people going to houses on false pretenses to "scan" properties for future thefts when no one is home)...he nearly ran off the porch when I said "It's not a good time right now. You see that monster 100 pound dog? He ate the last sales guy then chewed through all the cables and ripped them off the brick wall. (Which was partially true.)


FireSignFemme 07-17-2020 02:21 PM

Very distracted and trying to do too many things at once, I accidentally popped Monte's cat treat in my mouth instead of my Xanax. That was was not funny but the both crestfallen and confused look on his face made me crack the hell up. I told him told him don't worry dude I still gotcha. I felt guilty about laughing at his panic though so I made restitution by giving him three instead of his usual one.

Bčsame* 07-20-2020 08:07 AM

This caught my eye and I had to laugh..

'Everybody that has a baby gets a million dollars,' Kanye West says at 1st campaign rally
West also said "marijuana should be free" at the South Carolina event.

Blade 07-24-2020 11:56 AM

This old man that thinks my lap is his home. He and I like to share the string twizzlers. He has no teeth so I take a big bite and give him a little bite. Today I started to open a pack. He was dead asleep on my lap. All the paper crackling he never moved a muscle. I got the candy out of the wrapper and his head started moving. Then that nose went up in the air turning his head side to side. Finally in my lap he spun around to catch me filling my mouth with his twizzlers. 😂😂😂 Didn't take him long to crawl up on my chest and request his bite

FireSignFemme 07-27-2020 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bčsame* (Post 1271798)
This caught my eye and I had to laugh..

'Everybody that has a baby gets a million dollars,' Kanye West says at 1st campaign rally
West also said "marijuana should be free" at the South Carolina event.

Well Trump said he was going to make Mexico pay for the wall so even though they're running against each other - birds of a feather... To me all this bullshit is sobering.

Bčsame* 09-11-2020 04:06 PM

Getting into the car today, releasing my mask, starting the car, hitting the call bestie button...I find myself pulling my seatbelt over and across..trying to hook it into the end of the phone charger I had in my other hand. I rolled my eyes and then laughed at myself!

Kenna 02-03-2021 09:57 PM

My best friend's response when I offered to deliver coffee to work on this freezing morning.
"I'd love a big ole decaf with that stuff you put in it."

Good thing I know exactly what he was talking about. But I had to improvise when the gas station didn't have "that stuff" and instead had to settle with chocolate and sweet cream.

FireSignFemme 02-26-2021 04:15 AM

I can't stop laughing. A woman pranked her man, said she spent their stimulus money on lingere, so he'd find her sexy after the birth of their twins - Oh no you didn't. Well you're returning them and getting me my money back. Oh yes you are! Let's go! She told him she could'nt it was on sale non-refundable but they might still be able to stop payment on the things she put on credit. He went - What the... you mean you're telling me there's more? She said yes and told him since the clothes cost more than the amount of stimulus money they got she signed an agreement to pay the balance off in monthly installments, but at a good interest rate. He went off. I have to hand it to him he did a really, really good job of restraining himself. It was so funny especially when he realized he'd been pranked. I have to give him a lot of credit, he was a really good sport about it, but I bet he's already plotting his revenge. I hope when he does he makes a video of it. I can empathize, really relate because in my teens my partner did something similar only in our case it was not a prank. I forgave her but talk about a stretch, it wasn't with ease I cleared that hurdle.

Orema 03-23-2021 01:03 AM

Watching Tracey Ullman videos on YouTube.


Kenna 12-26-2021 07:58 AM

My birthday card from my sister yesterday. She is a HOOT! made me laugh so hard!

Blade 02-13-2022 08:56 AM

GPS....don't listen to it!

Stone-Butch 02-13-2022 11:02 AM

Cracked you up today
 
I fell asleep on the couch watching tv waiting for a friend to call. I awoke with the sound of the phone and picked it up and said hello, hello, hello. I sat up and to my surprise I was talking into the tv remote. The phone on the tv woke me up. I laughed so hard at ME for sleeping so soundly.

Blade 04-11-2022 08:48 PM

While riding my golf cart threw the campground I passed a man walking a German Shepherd on an extenda leash. He barked and carried on. As I passed him I heard a BIG dog bark coming from the camper I was passing. I looked that way and saw a Boston Terrier in the window. The people were sitting at the picnic table. I said that is a big dog bark not a Boston Terrier bark. She said there is a Great Dane inside.

homoe 04-13-2022 08:18 AM

The calandar saying it's spring but then seeing snow flurries in the air.....

Cin 07-18-2022 08:04 AM

My wife's post on a site for giving away free stuff. It is hilarious. But it is exactly what happened and I still remember the looks we got the 2 times we actually wore them. I usually don't give a fat rat's ass what people think about me,( most butches wouldn't last a minute if we did), but those looks were priceless. In the meantime there are already 15 people who want them. Who knew there were so many tall people with questionable taste in our neighborhood.

Here's the post. I hope you find it as amusing as I have.



Have you ever had to change into or out of your bathing suit in your car or behind some bushes because there was no place to change at the beach? Me too! So when I saw these adult ponchos online, I thought they were brilliant. Portable changing rooms! They double as towels! They have pockets and hoods! I immediately ordered 2.

My first mistake was not checking the sizes properly. I ordered large because I wanted to make sure there would be plenty of room for changing clothes. There is. But I didn’t check the length, and they are waaaay too long. I am 5’2’’ , wife is 5’5’’, and we look RIDICULOUS in them.

See how cute these people look wearing them? See how much fun they’re having? We don’t look like that. We wore them a couple of times and it was clear from the looks we got that we shouldn’t ever wear them again.

Maybe they could be saved if either of us had the skills to shorten them, but we don’t. Would you like to be the recipient of strange looks at the beach or pool in your matching pink and blue hooded adult ponchos? They’re super soft and cozy. Maybe you will have as much fun wearing them as the models in the photos do!

Please take both. I don’t want either of their feelings to be hurt.


https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/..._AC_UX679_.jpg

https://d3fa68hw0m2vcc.cloudfront.ne...238054391.jpeg

Orema 08-27-2022 06:49 AM



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULDGfjyVOW0

Blade 08-27-2022 06:58 PM

Watching a video of my great nephew. He is so animated and gets so excited.each year or so he changes up on what excites him. This year it is trains. They took a video of him standing beside the train tracks with the train barreling by lol and he was soooo excited about it.

First it was farm equipment and he could name them all and tellyou what they do. Then trash trucks then emergency vehicles then he got to where he could tell you everything about cars and car parts. Now it is trains. Says he wants to be a teacher or a pastor. So however it turns out he will be well rounded

Gemme 08-30-2022 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orema (Post 1289848)

OMG, he was spot on!

Reach *BANNED* 08-31-2022 09:01 AM

a 34 second audio clip that I received at 6:43am.

Gemme 09-03-2022 09:59 PM

I hadn't seen one of these commercials until recently on Prime and now I can't get away from them but they crack me up.

The one I saw is more snotty but these are still funny too.





Blade 09-04-2022 11:17 PM

My sister's Chi. She is a tiny little thing but she is wide open as long as her eyes are open. She's like a wind up toy buzzing around.

Bčsame* 12-17-2022 07:07 AM

a reindeer story

I'm still chuckling about it!

Kenna 12-17-2022 07:27 PM

My best friend's stories of his day Christmas shopping then later "baby sitting " my goofy pup.

Bčsame* 12-21-2022 08:37 AM

People not being so Feliz Navidad.

There is always something that cracks me up. Thank you!

nhplowboi 04-15-2023 08:39 AM

This morning while scrolling on the computer, I also had CNN on. CNN was talking about the push for electric cars to help with emisson control. At the same time the computer was showing me an article that Hannity was upset the electric cars are not going to have AM radios in them. Seems to me electric cars are a "2 for" when it comes to bad emissions there Mr. Hannity.

nhplowboi 04-16-2023 08:17 AM

I joined POF to try and find people to go out for coffee or a drink with while Bevi and I are trying to figure things out. I got a like today and was perusing the woman's profile and pics. She had 3 pics posted and I couldn't help but notice the woman in her first pic had no tatoos while the woman in her second pic had almost a full sleeve on her left arm. Then what really cracked me up was her third pic. Here she was standing in a stream where she had apparently been fishing and what catch was she hefting in the air....a wicked big CATFISH! Yep, she can always say she forewarned any takers!


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