Thank you, Corkey!

I am so sorry, I didn't mean to come off like wasn't worth the work of life styles changes to prevent recurrence. I truly did not intend for anyone to take it like that. I do believe it can make all the difference, but don't believe anything is a guarantee. I am also not going to blame myself for causing my cancer, because I ate a cookie. I didn't eat much meat or processed food even as a kid. I had hippie parents, who grew food and most of our protein came from beans and tofu. No meat doesn't bother me, but the no dairy is a bitch. I eat yogurt everyday, but its almond milk and just isn't the same, I agree.
You have suggested your doctor in Chicago before. I can't afford to take a flight, hotel and to go see a doctor and I know before you said if you want it, you can make it happen. And honestly I am grateful and happy for you that you can afford to do that. I barely paid off all my dr bills at the beginning of this year. I am waiting for the book 'life over cancer' to come in at the library, its coming from another branch. I am at the point though, I am not going to continue to make myself sick with guilt.

I am pretty confident that I never said if you want it bad enough, you can make it happen. That simply isn't my way of thinking, so I am sure I did not say that. My mother paid for my trip, by the way, as it is not something that I could afford, either.

My mention of Chicago was not suggesting you go, it was a reference point for my mentioning of the book. I was never advocating this when I spoke of Block. It was all about his book. You also don't need to go out there if you wanted to get the testing done. Your insurance will pay for it all. I did not recall that you were on this thread when I have talked about it before. I thought you would be interested since you ate similarly.

I certainly do not feel guilt for having gotten cancer, and was not implying that you (or anyone), should either. If I returned to eating the way I used to eat (fast food several times/week, processed food, daily) and got cancer again, yes, I would blame myself a bit. Informed consent is how I see it.

Wow. Just realized the name change. Debbie = deb_U_taunt.

Now it makes more sense.

Sorry.

I need to go back and read your more recent posts (so I can get up to speed), because I did not realize you were the same person. I just thought you never came back to the thread. What month/year (?) did your name change?

I changed my nick in November, when I went back home to regroup. I am sorry if I came off harsh. No excuse for my being rude. I know you said you were paying a few hundred a month for supplements and my insurance barely covers basic testing. I do my best at eating healthy, but lets be honest, organic is higher priced. My insurance didn't pay for breast reconstruction, but they did pay for the uncomfortable prosthetics. Its been a battle with insurance every step of the way.

Friday dr appt update: I am stressed gang. :( The 3 test results that were a little high and I didn't know what they were, one is 'lactate dehyrogenase' levels. This can mean everything from an infection to lymphoma. I am scared, pain old scared. Bone scan showed some 'increased activity within the right mid cervical area'.
More tests, more stress, more wait and see. Trying to stay in the moment.

stay in today, stay in today, stay in today, stay in today

Dearest Deb, That is a great mantra and oh so difficult to maintain in the face of such scary situations. I am glad that you keep re-focusing on being in the moment. And in that moment reaffirm to yourself that many friends are sending love and light to you. Wish I was there to walk with you. Jeano

Hey.. hey....:pirate-steer:
Come over here. It's tomorrow. :)

Tuesday, another day on that calender. Here's a drink on me. Enjoy . !!
You don't know me from Adam, or Jane or Jo, but know, I get it ~that it is scary as hell, and none of us walks in your shoes. That comfort zone for ourselves can mean so many things. Wish I could help you in finding a way through the scary times to a place of fuck you cancer, I am living without you.

In the mean time, enjoy a lot of whatever makes you happy, takes your mind away on a puffy white cloud, and hug a tree, or a Teddy Bear, or someone you love and get that love back. Wish you were near. I have lottttts of Teddy Bears, and 3 cats.
http://tbhlc.org.uk/wp-content/uploa...offee-cup1.jpg

Thinking of you, deb. :bouquet:

Thank you. Back to reality.

http://rlv.zcache.com/forbidden_to_p...7envtl_400.jpg

Yipeeeee! Thanks for sharing the good news Buddy.

Wonderful news!!! Hugs to you!!!! :)

Dapper, my dr suggested alpha lipoic acid for the neuropathy and I have been taking 600mg for about a week and it does seem to be giving me some relief. Not sure if its one on your list. :)

http://altmedicine.about.com/od/alph...lipoicacid.htm

No, haven't heard of this. Thank you very much!

My neck doesn't seem to be as tight either. Who knows. Even if its wishful thinking, its helping. lol

I had my second colonoscopy yesterday and my doctor said everything looks perfect! No polyps and everything looks pink and healthy! YAY! So now I can move on to the five year screening plan. :)

I woke up from the anesthesia at the very end of the procedure and got to watch a bit of it. I find it so interesting to get a glimpse at the inner-workings of my body.

Yay! Congrats you!!!
Have an awesome day Novela....

So, that is a good club to belong to. That. " let's do this again in 5 years ".:) Worst part is over **

I didn't wake up till it was all over, but I got a shiny CD..It is fascinating, and they gave the pics & a video on a CD..No 8 x 10 glossies :( ..:mohawk:

My Doc leaned over and said, Your colon is boring. Come back in 5 years, and let's do this again. Oh yeah...

May 15, 2013 is my 9 year cancer free follow-up appointment. :fastdraq: