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Seeing an ugly side of me that is not pleasant. Learning from my mistakes. Growing as a person and not letting emotions overrule my sanity.
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It can be startling how quickly things can become clear. I had a dream last night and didn't understand it at first. Then it dawned on me what it was really about.
I was floored. |
What's on my mind...
Our future day-to-day living that will happen for us and how it all just feels so right. I get lost in daydreams quite frequently these day :fan: |
What's on my mind
(Trigger warning: abuse)
I'm a little apprehensive about going to Colorado for Christmas to see my family. My family hasn't seen me since I started my physical transition from F to M and I'm anxious about how they'll react. Although one of my brothers is very supportive, the rest of my family is struggling and hasn't spoken to me in over a year. I have a particularly strained relationship with my parents, as there was a lot of abuse while I was growing up. Now that I have a goatee, sideburns and my physical transition is quite noticeable, I'm afraid that they will be physically abusive with me again. I only see my family once every couple of years, but my Mom still hits me from time to time. I would never hit my Mom and I've never called the police over it. I don't like it but I don't know what to do about it. My stomach is all tied up in knots. |
thinking about my upcoming surgery dec 14th. its coming up quick and i have so much to do before hand.
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Maybe you thought of this, but in case you haven't, I wanted to mention, it might be a good idea not to stay at their house, not to be dependent on them in that way. If you have a friend to stay with, that might be a good idea. Or it might be smart to stay in a motel if you can afford it. |
My thoughts are burning... Consuming
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All the paperwork I still need to do...
The upcoming dance on saturday... The weight loss bet that I'm currently losing (but only by 2 lbs)... Just life & love in general.... |
*raises an eyebrow*
That was a very odd dream... Very |
Wondering if my iphone emoticons are showing up!
😍😝✌💘👯 Can you see them??? |
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Today I have a lot on my mind, being sick in bed gives one plenty of time to think... One thing that is occupying a great deal of this think time is the idea of fate.
I am a strong believer in the Fates. There are lessons in life one is destined to learn and the Fates have been given charge of leading you to those lessons. Sometimes, our stubbornness and free will means they have to lead us back to the same lesson many times. In the same way that we must continue to live through the same life lesson until it sticks, sometimes we overlook the blessings that are meant for us as well. In these cases, the fates then must lead us back to these blessings... but even the Fates do not have infinite patience. If we continue to overlook the good that may be present in our lives and refuse to take a risk in accepting it and pursing it (even happiness and blessings must be worked for an maintained) then eventually, it will no longer be on our path. Its never enough to wish for happiness, blessings, and gifts, we must seek them out, work for them, and make them happen. Opportunity is the greatest gift we can be given, but even if the door has been unlocked, we must still turn the handle, open it, and walk through it to the future we are offered. |
Nutella is on my mind.
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This post is Brilliant and beautiful. Thank you |
Sleep or lack of lol.
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The near future and not so near future.
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Various music
I actually watched TV today The pups School.... Did I mention music? Images put in my head I just realized I never got around to eating today Considering taking a walk |
filing a missing persons report on my son.
deep sadness |
A very bad dream...I'm not sure I can get back to sleep.... :(
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