I am sitting here lying on my bed just thinking about life.. my dog's life... my old girl is lying here snoring next to me... for now.. she is peaceful.. resting... happy.. but her heart is not good, she gets four meds twice a day and it makes me sad to think about all of that.

I try to be positive most of the time and think about how she's doing well and how I still have her.. I tell her I love her daily... give her love...but sometimes, it's hard not to think of the alternative. I always hate having to make the decision to help one of my pups cross over to a better place and I hope with everything in me, that I won't have to do that anytime soon with her. Her heart will never get better, all we can do is make her comfortable. I keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

I'm rubbing her soft ears.. she is so damn cute!

my kitchen smells good... wish my son was here

What is on my mind....

Christmas shopping and how I have not started it yet.
Wondering what to get my children and grandchildren.
The fact that I absolutely adore the Christmas season.
How I so wish my middle child was home for the holidays with my granddaughter.
Looking forward to joining family and tradition with my Spritz and the General.
Have I mentioned Christmas shopping?
:blink:

----Getting up and away from the computer ---starting on my day.

I startled awake.

I woke myself up. I was giving instructions in English at ASL speed, which, if fluent like me, is very fast. It was odd.

The dream before that was better. I'd be happy to dream it again.

My Badass Biker Bf...giggles, and our conversation this morning and how he laughs with us and gets such a kick out of us like we do him...He's such a Daddy, in more ways than one...

Finding a place for my man cave, classes, the woman in my heart.

Above all else...Choose Love...always try to be a better Man... no matter what
the cost. Choose the path of love, compassion and light.

Justin is driving to LA to pick up her son and bring him back for the weekend. We adopted a family from a non-profit Deaf organization and he is going to pick out all the toys we buy. I can't wait to hear how many toys he wants. This should be a good learning experience! :)

Also, I am pretty sure we are going to an LGBT families Christmas event tonight. Looking forward to meeting new families!

when my heart is broken, i want everybody to stop. feel what i feel and cry with me. but i know that that is not possible. but even when the body doesn't stop for the broken hearted, ... the spirit can. i know that my spirit has stopped, ... silence is needed sometimes. i don't pretend to even know the grief. in jesus' name i pray.

I am still wordless & numb from yesterday's horror. I can't seem to bring myself to talk about it & this is the most I've even said about it. And I'm done.

I enjoy the hell out of those conversations with you two. So much laughter. Two beautiful women. I'm a very lucky guy. ;-)

there is a price for everything

Laughing until I cried...

What's on my mind right now? Honestly, the fact that I can't sleep and I'm horny. lol Also, that I LOVE being in Seattle! :)

whats on my mind?? 'a lot of things..... the life of a ADHD person.. lol
have to laf at myself sometimes.... i guess.

ok on a serous note here.....
: the loss of such such young lives in CT ... having tears in my eyes, reading watching and listening to the interviews, video.. of the tragic event .. the fearful faces of the kids having to close there eyes and being lead to safety..
people we all don't even know and how this tragic event has touched our lives.


something on my mind too....
why do we as a gay community everywhere... places that have so called pride/gay stores, where we can buy rainbow items , books gifts .. why do a lot of thee shops have sex toys and other smut books videos on hand in plain view??? I mean .... the gay community want to be treated as equal in society but yet have these kind of items mixed into the same stores.
i dont see Hetrosexual have dildo's / strap ons f**K videos and books in a store near you. when i g into a pride store and i see them items i feel kinda embarassed , i could never bring a small child into a pride store... thats for sure. i can see going to cash something out and there is a nice lil display of key chains and or candy that look like a dick. I have how ever in my travels been to a couple places where such items were NOT in a gay/ pride store. but not to many .

and another thing on my mind......
having a smile in my heart , knowing how happy I made Dutch Leonard's Christmas with that huge soft fleece blanket with hys mustang on it .. :)
:heartbeat::heartbeat:

Time spent with a Bear
Time spent with you

Both left laughter on my face and peace in my soul. And that's a beautiful thing.