Butch Femme Planet - What is on your mind

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FB Holiday weirdness...My biological father just said "Merry Christmas" to me on FB...He has been on my FB for 5 years, has never responded to any messages I have sent him, and has not said "Merry Christmas", or even "Hello" since I was 16 years old (25 years ago) ...I'm stumped.

Apparently, the Ghost of Christmas Future has visited him recently...:|

My day, today.

I spent it cleaning and preparing for tomorrow. Then after a long hot bath and some tylenol, I was persuaded to go to my mom's where the big "tamalada" was going on. My aunt's were there, my mom's friend and me. I took my place at the table and started spreading the masa onto the husks and just leapt right in to the conversation like I've done for so many years throughout my life. The only thing missing was my beautiful Guelita.

I missed her so much today. They were speaking of her and saying all sorts of things she didn't ever say...lol...it makes me sad that they didn't know her like I knew her. Then I sigh and I thank God that I got to know her in her last, best years. That she was my best friend, my mentor, my counselor (not that I listened much back then) and most of all, my mother. For all the years I complained about my lot in life at being left to my grandmother because my parents were off seeking their own goals...I would give my right arm to have her here one more day...to share in this holiday and the great Christmas present I'm getting...I sit here and realize how blessed I've been.

La extrano, Guelita...en paz descanse. Feliz Navidad

Every second of every day.

How beautiful and unique my Christmas was this year...

...a little bit of everything I suppose.

thinking this tree is coming down today.

His sister and niece will be helping me take down the tree and decorations today.
We have shopping to do and then at some point hit the commissary.
We are also making plans to change up the two guest rooms and make the front room my office/craft room.
So much to do.

I made it through Christmas. I made it through all those 4am mornings! Now waiting to see what the next week will bring me. And I have to make it through the few days my roommate's family will be here. Ugh! I hope I don't have to get up at 4 or that will be so hard. Did I mention I am a light sleeper?

Now onto the new year.

Just that certain things that may hurt or bother us at the time, always serve the purpose for our greater good in the end.

What this next year will bring for me.

lots...but it seems like i cant find the words...or maybe the courage to let it out? ....it may require some patience...just feeling like i need to find a way to get my confidence back before i spiral downward....my dysphoria is absolutely crazy right now...im feeling like i can't even do what im usually good at & worried that eventually it will create tension enough to cause disaster within myself & relationships i care about

was really hoping for change or something.

Hy is on my mind...watching the clock til he is off work and walks through the door

Also trying to figure out what family activity we will all do tonight and what good movie we will watch after the lil bits go to sleep

Images and thoughts put in my head

Lesson Plans...an upcoming trip...The Water Cycle (yes lesson plans)...hys tie....Photosynthesis (more lesson plans)...and kisses. My mind never turns off!!!

The snow falling right now and how much we will get I won't be home in time to dig out Desd before she has to go to work.. not that she is to delecate to do it her self she is more then able but I like to be able to do this for her. but she has to be to work at 530 and I don't get off shift until 6 :police: and while the snow is right purtty falling it is going to make my drive home umm harder

My nephew started coughing and had a high fever on Christmas eve, now my sister has the cough and the high fever today. I am starting to feel slightly feverish and my throat is scratchy. We all live together and I am not happy right now. I don't like being sick so hopefully I can fight off this virus.