Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?

A: A coffin.

corny jokes
 

Lesson in catching an elephant.
Dig a huge pit.
Fill the pit with burned ashes.
Surround the pit with peas.
When the elephant comes to take a pea.
Kick him in the ash hole.

Somebody should be telling PETA on you

Corny Jokes
 

LOL cute. I love all animals mostly not the human animal. SO, please don't report me. *G

Q:Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?

A: Because hy had no body to take.



Q: Who did the skeleton invite to the school dance?

A: Her goul-friend

Corny Jokes
 

So, how did you find the weather when you were visiting your grandmother?


Oh, I just went outside and there it was.

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin


Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet

Q: Why don’t mummies have friends?
A: They’re too wrapped up in themselves.

Corny Jokes
 

Q.) Why did the bike fall over?

A. It was too tired.

Q.) What do you call a pig that does karate?

A. Pork Chop.

Q.) Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the game?

A. In case he got a hole in one.

Q: What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?
A: A poultrygeist


Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A. For the Boos.


Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A. It’s a pain in the neck.

Corny Jokes
 

Which state is best known for small drinks?
MINNESOTA!

How do you heal a broken pumpkin?
With a PUMPKIN PATCH!

Where do boats go when they are sick?
To the DOCK!

Why did the man fall down the well?
He didn't see That Well!

Spring is here!
 

Q: How excited was the gardener about spring?
A: So excited she wet her plants.


Q: What did the mother worm say to the little worm who was late?
A: “Where in earth have you been?”


Q: What did the dirt say to the rain?
A: “If this keeps up, my name will be mud.”

Corny jokes
 

Why can't our noses be 12" long?
A--Cause then it would be a foot.

What do you call a pile of cats?
A-- A meow-train

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
A-- A receding hare line.

Why does a stadium heat up after a game?
A-- All the fans left.

Two sheep walk into a—baaaa

Q. What does a Turkey do the day after Thanksgiving?

A. She throws away the peacock disguise.

Corny jokes
 

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay they would be baygulls.

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall in the lake?
Oh dam.

corny jokes
 

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks: ”Is it trained?” The parrot replies: ”I’m trained but I’m not sure about my owner.”

---------.---------.---------.---------. :jester:


“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick,” (Story joke submitted by Jarod Kintz). :tease:

---------.---------.---------.---------.

There's a fine line between numerator and denominator. There's only a fraction of people who will get this clean joke. :eyebat:

Corny Jokes
 

1, Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

2,Why do divers exit the boat backwards to the water?

If they went forward they would still be in the boat.

The Beastie Boys are releasing a 5 part anthology.

Parts A-D are free, but you have to fight for your right to Part E.

Why did the fox cross the road?






For free chickens!