Now I confess.......my beeper is lying beside me, I know that if it goes off there is moolah involved, but I really really really confess to wanting it to be quiet :praying:

I never knew this had cottage cheese in it....ummmm

I confess to hiding the last piece of buttermilk pie and then telling everyone that it finished!!!!!! EVIL!!!!! lol

I confess that I love playing air piano to Basement Jaxx's Samba Magic.:grandpiano:

Duchess

I confess to wanting to be there and experience it :)

I confess...

It has been several days since my last confessiOooooh! Wrong kind of confession.... *starting anew*

I confess..

I could have bitch slapped the two lesbians at the jewelry counter at Belks this morning while my darling butch was attempting to at least look at some gorgeous jewelry for me...if what you are buying takes up the whole counter, is a giant stack of stuff, and has NOTHING to do with jewelry - especially on black friday - step the (Insert your favorite foul word here) away from the glass case that you are totally covering with your...ahem...purchases. And let those of us who are actually interested in the wares of that department - shop. Thank you.

I did not get my nap today until very, very late in the day, quite possibly throwing off my (rather non-existant as it is) sleep schedule.

I was WAY nicer while shopping this morning (and afternoon - almost into the evening) than I felt like being. See what a nice lil human I can be?? *blinkblink*

I missed a very important phone call this evening, that I can only hope will come again tomorrow night!!

I missed time with my BFF.

I need to clean my house this weekend so I can decorate for the holdiays next week!!

I didn't make it to the beach, but I did manage some amazing time on the back deck - enjoying a 75 degree Thanksgiving!!

Which makes me wonder - where in the heck did the 33 degree today come from?!!?

And finally, I confess, I have gone on and on..and I will probably do the same later on today! ;)

I confess...that even tho I have my moments of joy and that while I am working really hard at not letting it suck me down..I am indeed getting sucked into a dark hole this holiday season.

I confess that not having a job for these two years and having one health problem after another and living on air and my wit and standing before the multitudes with a grin saying it doesnt matter has FINALLY gotten to me to the point where it FUCKING DOES> it FUCKING DOES MATTER>

I confess that looking at my dog that I love so damn much and holding onto her day by day and knowing that I am doing everything I can to give her the best life I can for as long as I can, inside me I am terrified what is going to happen to me when I put her down because she is the last string that is holding me together...

I confess that while I am seeing a therapist and have a good set of drugs and wonderful set of medical Drs and things are moving along fine I am so sick and tired of what always always always comes next. For god fucking sake. A collapsed lung? And a Pulmonlogist who says I cant breath because I am anxious? Last straw...fucking last straw...so what if I have a collapsed lung? I have a vagina. I must be neurotic...

I confess that I am tired of being strong against my weaknesses. I am tired of smiling to conceal. I am tired of hiding the misery. I am tired of bracing against the inevitable. I am tired of dragging the limp. Dammit. I am not done and I am not suicidal and I am not quitting. I am just so fucking over it. I confess I am just not going to put the mask on today. Just today...

I must confess...yesterday when I began cooking the pintos and ham, I told Sweet they were genuine no fart beans. Well I lied. I forgot to take the farts out of them and so umm well the air is quite fragrant around here today....sorta smells like honeysuckles :fart:

I confess that I am happy there is not "honeysuckle air" here in my oasis right now.

I confess that I am beginning to believe that my cats are saner than some people I know.

:cat: Pashi

I confess, I ate pecan pie for breakfast.

I confess, the Christmas movies, chilly temps and intermittent snowflakes are getting me in the mood to decorate! :present:

I confess that:

• I don't know why I am posting so much today. It is like I am manic, or something

• I prefer relationships with traditionally defined gender roles...butch does this and femme does that.

• I have always felt guilty about the above, but I really shouldn't b/c I only ever date people who are seeking the same type relationship and who wouldn't have it any other way.

• I don't think I have ever really thread stalked someone. I just never think to do so

• If I did thread stalk someone it would probably be June just cause I like the way she thinks and betenoire as I love her wit. Oh, and maybe Gemme b/c her posts always make me smile.

i confess:

• i have put up every. last. bit. of holiday decor i own. it's not much, but better than nothing. :)
• my mom told me my God Mom is getting me a can opener for Christmas. She's a spoilsport, but i'm very excited to not have to worry about cutting my fingers anymore!
• i have no idea what to make anyone for Christmas this year.
• my cousin, who feels more like an Aunt, is super cool and i'm going to hear her sing a Cantata with her church choir in December.
• i just discovered the bullet style formatting!!! :)

:stillheart: